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shaishai

Need help after 2 months of Meditation

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I started meditate about 2 months ago, i'm doing 20 minutes of simple meditation each day, mostly in the evening hours, by 'simple' I mean I sit with eyes closed for 20 minutes and try to stay in the present moment.

In the first month, I felt really good about this new habit of mine, it really got me to feel like I have discovered a whole new world and a new level of being.

BUT - in the last 2 weeks or so, something happened.
I feel that my meditation level has dropped and i'm really struggling in order to stay in the present moment during my meditation, mostly without success.
Also, in my normal daily life, I feel that I'm only more aware of the fact that my mind has this 24/7 noise of thoughts inside it, and that it is just impossible to control it, I feel that it's beyond my control and the only thing that has changed is that i'm more aware of it now.

Is this normal after only 2 months of Self Actualization work? (In addition to the meditation, I'm also read a lot of spiritual & self help books, and watching Leo & others spiritual teachers videos on youtube)

I also stopped smoking cigarettes but i'm still smoking weed on a daily basis, so it might also have an impact on my situation.

Thanks a lot!
 

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You have to work out of mediation too, sitting mediation alone is useless in my opinion. 

It  relatively easy to get clam mind by sitting mediation, now try to meditate every day every moment in your life, it is different kind of meditation.

Also it is normal to have your bad periods.

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Do not try to control the mind, just observe.


You see, the reason you want to be better, is the reason why you aren’t. Shall I put it like that?

We aren't better, because we want to be.

                                                                                                                                                 ~ Alan Watts

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