Sex and spirituality?

[Mada_]

I am 17 and have not yet lost my virginity. I am devoted to the path of enlightenment, should I forget about pursuing this experience as this is an 'unwanted desire'? There is desire to pursue this in my current material context because... Well, teenage girls are quite attractive. Is this something that could wait until later in life even know it is accessible to me and I would consider the consider the connection meaningful?

Looking from a broader perspective, I realise that seeing the truth is all that matters; this obviously does not disregard partaking in my mundane responsibilities. But this realisation presents the idea of seclusion and the surrender of recreation to enhance insight, only partaking in institutional responsibilities such as school and work to maximise my practice - would this be excessive or unwise? 

Just looking for different perspectives. 

 

[FoxFoxFox]

@Mada_ When I was 17 I spent most of my energy chasing tail. 10/10 would do it again. 

[ZZZZ]

Live your life to the fullest. The infant is not expected to act like the todler, the teenager like the adult, the adult like the elder, etc. Every single one of us goes through these phases, and you shouldn't jump too far ahead in your mind about what you should be doing with your life at any given time. Sexual urges are natural, and as long as you decide to pursue them in a healthy way, they can be very enjoyable and powerful experiences towards understanding yourself and the world, if acted upon responsibly. Just enjoy being 17 in this present moment, intead of worrying so much. Whether you lose your virginity or not will not affect the path you have decided to take.

Edited November 27, 2018 by ZZZZ

[Sahil Pandit]

@Mada_ Learning to transmute that sexual energy toward something you want to accomplish would be a wiser choice in the long run.  (Like pursuing your LP, or dedicating yourself to service/creating value to others, etc.)

Valuing authentic relationships over sexual cravings would also be something to learn around that age, since it's more satisfying to your higher self. 

That "unwanted" desire is the same force that allows you to create a child. It's incredible and simply taken for granted. 

[ground]

When reading "Sex and spirituality?" my first thought was about tantra / vajrayana where sexual union is a practice in inner tantra / vajrayana. But then, reading the opening post of Mada I am not quite sure what this thread is meant to be about. It is certainly not about sexual union in tantra / vajrayana but maybe about Mada being torn between mundane and spiritual matters?

[winterknight]

9 hours ago, Mada_ said:

I am 17 and have not yet lost my virginity. I am devoted to the path of enlightenment, should I forget about pursuing this experience as this is an 'unwanted desire'? There is desire to pursue this in my current material context because... Well, teenage girls are quite attractive. Is this something that could wait until later in life even know it is accessible to me and I would consider the consider the connection meaningful?

Looking from a broader perspective, I realise that seeing the truth is all that matters; this obviously does not disregard partaking in my mundane responsibilities. But this realisation presents the idea of seclusion and the surrender of recreation to enhance insight, only partaking in institutional responsibilities such as school and work to maximise my practice - would this be excessive or unwise? 

Just looking for different perspectives. 

 

It's a complicated topic. For some people, staying away from sex and relationships can significantly quiet the mind and enhance energy for the spiritual quest. There is a long tradition of this in all mystical traditions. In Hinduism it is called "brahmachari."

The idea is that sexual relationships create all kinds of complicated and painful attachments that are hindrances to the spiritual search. They drain energy that can go into spiritual inquiry.

But it doesn’t work for some people. In the Bible, Christ says "there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

But not everyone can accept it. For some people it causes increased mental noise and instability.

Still, since you are only 17, and you feel this question, it might not be a bad thing to try to put your desire aside -- for a while, say six months or a year -- and pursue the spiritual with all your heart and mind. And you can see how you react. 

Edited November 27, 2018 by winterknight

[Emerald]

Don't let this idea hold you back from what feels right to you. You are always on the path no matter what. 

I recommend hitting all the normal milestones and living a normal teenage life and being mindful as you do it. Nothing is invalid. Everything is a learning experience and an opportunity to become more conscious.

You don't want to end up later on in life having never lived and get behind on milestones and rites of passage. This is especially true if you end up fighting the path by denying what your emotions are telling you as a result. 

Don't fight your desires, and don't fight reality. Accept that they are they and are a valid aspect of reality.

Enlightenment requires perfect unconditional love for all aspects of reality and an invalidation of none. So, because your desires are an aspect of reality, pushing them away or invalidating them is bringing you in the wrong direction.

Resistance and renunciation will only set you further from your goal. Transcendence of the sexual drive is not the same as resistance to or renunciation of it. Transcendence of desires in general is not the same as resistance to or renunciation of desires. 

That said, for some, living a life of abstinence is right. But it comes about because that path FEELS right. It is pursued intuitively.

[outlandish]

Sex and intimacy are 100% a part of the experience of being human. You are a being in a human form, here to have the experience of being human. There is nothing about sex that contradicts the spiritual, nor is it separate.

Dive right in young fella, drink deep from the well of life.

ps: use a condom

Edited November 28, 2018 by outlandish
ps

[Flammable]

As long as it is not neurotic, go for it. A part of life. 

When you are cold, put on a coat, said the monk. When you are hungry, eat. So let us extend that to - when you are horny, fuck. 

[purerogue]

1 minute ago, Flammable said:

As long as it is not neurotic, go for it. A part of life. 

When you are cold, put on a coat, said the monk. When you are hungry, eat. So let us extend that to - when you are horny, fuck. 

Dons't it make you feel awkward to fuck yourself, imagine you walk on a street and there is this hot you you want so bad?