Stuck in "The Work" by Byron Katie

[korbes]

Hey Actualizers, 

So I am currently reading The Work, by Byron Katie, which seems like a book with A LOT of potential.

Although, when I get to step 3 on the worksheet "How do you react when you think that thought", I get stuck.

I just don't feel any bodily sensations, or maybe I am just too unaware to notice them, but I can't really move past this, I just end up writing my thoughts about it, but I don't feel like I am doing it correctly, which is quite sad as I feel like this is the first book I've stumbled upon, that can really dissolve some negative thoughts.

What's your take on this step in The Work?

All replies are highly appreciated!
 

Thanks.

[korbes]

@Leo Gura Would really love your advice on this one! :-)

[zambize]

Hi I'm no expert, but I often find that some sensations and reactions can be really subtle and difficult to realize you were even aware of them, or could be.  I would train your awareness, specifically your emotional awareness.  If you aren't already meditation daily, well you know....  But while doing that, use that meditation session to train your ability to focus in on your emotions and reactions, you will get better at being aware of more and more subtle emotional reactions.  That being said,  I hope an expert comes to help you out, gl!

[purerogue]

4 hours ago, korbes said:

Hey Actualizers, 

So I am currently reading The Work, by Byron Katie, which seems like a book with A LOT of potential.

Although, when I get to step 3 on the worksheet "How do you react when you think that thought", I get stuck.

I just don't feel any bodily sensations, or maybe I am just too unaware to notice them, but I can't really move past this, I just end up writing my thoughts about it, but I don't feel like I am doing it correctly, which is quite sad as I feel like this is the first book I've stumbled upon, that can really dissolve some negative thoughts.

What's your take on this step in The Work?

All replies are highly appreciated!
 

Thanks.

It is normal to have no feeling toward though you do not associate with and have no attached opinion upon it. 

Then again I have no clue what thoughts you are talking about.

[Rebec]

You can replace this step with; 'what happens, when I believe that thought?'

Even if you only describe your thoughts instead of feeling your feelings, if you do the whole process including turn around, it will work.

You only need to write down the questions on the worksheet.

http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/worksheets/JudgeYourNeighbor_Worksheet.pdf

When you do the four steps and turn around, just thinking about it in your mind is good enough, no need to write the answers down.

The technique 'the Work' is really great and helpfull for changing beliefs. Also watch some of her YouTube content so you can see how other people react on step three.

If you feel that you want to let go of feelings in your body, instead of changing your thought-beliefs, try; Letting Go by Hawkins or Sedona Method by Dwoskin. 

 

[How to be wise]

14 hours ago, korbes said:

Hey Actualizers, 

So I am currently reading The Work, by Byron Katie, which seems like a book with A LOT of potential.

Although, when I get to step 3 on the worksheet "How do you react when you think that thought", I get stuck.

I just don't feel any bodily sensations, or maybe I am just too unaware to notice them, but I can't really move past this, I just end up writing my thoughts about it, but I don't feel like I am doing it correctly, which is quite sad as I feel like this is the first book I've stumbled upon, that can really dissolve some negative thoughts.

What's your take on this step in The Work?

All replies are highly appreciated!
 

Thanks.

It’s simply asking what emotions do you feel when you are in this stressful situation. Surely you feel some negative emotion, otherwise why else does it bother you. 

Close your eyes, go back to that place and time when you were in that difficult situation. Remember, The Work must be done meditating back in that time when something bad happened to you. Visualise what you were seeing then. 

So now, back then how were you feeling when you were attached to that thought. You were attached to that thought in that time, if only subconsciously, which is why the negative emotion came. So how did it feel back then. What were you feeling. Where were you feeling those negative emotions. That’s all it’s asking.

[How to be wise]

@korbes also make sure that when you are filling in the ‘judge your neighbour’ worksheet, close your eyes, go back to that moment in time when something bad happened to you. 

The person who is filling in the worksheet is the you from back then, not the present you.

[korbes]

11 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@korbes also make sure that when you are filling in the ‘judge your neighbour’ worksheet, close your eyes, go back to that moment in time when something bad happened to you. 

The person who is filling in the worksheet is the you from back then, not the present you.

Thanks for your replies, really valuable!

I am using the worksheet :-)!

Maybe it's just, when I try to notice the emotion that it triggered inside of me, I get distracted by so many other things, like I can't really concentrate, so I have a feeling that it is an awareness issue.

[How to be wise]

@korbes start with a small time, like 20 minutes. As you get more good, increase the time.

Also, check out the YouTube channel ‘Always in the now’. Lots of Byron Katie podcasts where she gives invaluable tips and information about The Work.

[ivory]

Sounds like you're doing the work on things that aren't emotionally fueled. Stop doing that.

[Toby]

The Work - from my own experience - is not that great when you experience dissociation (which might be the case from what you describe). If you cannot stay present while asking the questions and dissociate into thoughts or go numb or shut down, I'd rather add some kind of bodywork. Something like TRE (Trauma Release Exercise), Feldenkrais.

[Nahm]

@How to be wise Nice! ?. and....subscribed. Thanks!

[korbes]

19 hours ago, Toby said:

The Work - from my own experience - is not that great when you experience dissociation (which might be the case from what you describe). If you cannot stay present while asking the questions and dissociate into thoughts or go numb or shut down, I'd rather add some kind of bodywork. Something like TRE (Trauma Release Exercise), Feldenkrais.

I see I got some Feldenkrais workshops in my town, can you elaborate a little more on it?
Have you tried it for yourself?

I feel like I have a lot of emotional blocks in me, I am having a really hard time expressing myself in front of other people and being authentic.

[Toby]

Yes, I am doing it myself from time to time. It is very effective. It seems a bit too gentle or easy to have effects but I would it just try it out for yourself. For me it is perfect touching deeper layers of patterns that might be unresolved in the body.

Edited November 29, 2018 by Toby