Some kind of breakthrough?

[Charlotte]

I'd love your perspective on something that has occurred. 

I've been attending private therapy. I felt there was some unconscious repression going on and I wanted to unfold it. 

This therapist is like no other I've ever seen. She gives the humanistic approach which is why I chose her. 

In our last session I uncovered something huge which led me to truly feeling unconditional love. It just radiated through me for an amount of time. 

Today she asked me what had changed from our last session and I told her I was beginning to feel this boundless love. She asked me to locate it, where did it reside mostly in my body? I told her in my solar plexus. She then asked me the size of it so I showed her. She then asked what would have to happen for it to grow just a little bit? She said don't think the answer, feel it 

I said acceptance. 

She then said... 

Are you ready to let that love grow? Do you feel ready? 

I quickly replied No. 

I then broke down in absolute hysterics after realising this.

I was crying and laughing at the same time (no joke). Something unbelievable just fucking hit me so hard, I was shaking, my temperature sored through the roof. Whatever she helped me uncover, floored me. I felt the most unbelievable joy I have ever experienced in my entire life. It was indescribable. It was like winning the lottery.

Through crying eyes I asked why I wasn't ready... She said just accept it. 

I then realised fear is the reason I cannot accept it. She agreed. 

 

Any opinions?

Edited November 26, 2018 by Charlotte

[Salvijus]

Wow.. you have a good therapist

[NoSelfSelf]

Great story do you still feel the love?

[Charlotte]

@Salvijus What makes you say that? 

@NoSelfSelf I feel extremely confused I know that much ?

[DrewNows]

Great share! Just reading this touched me deep inside. 

You know better than any of us how and what this means...

The therapist helped you face yourself and see the self imposed limitations you were unknowingly bound by. You brought the fear to the surface and for a time you were completely free

EXCELLENT! 

[Charlotte]

@DrewNows Wow okay. Thanks for replying. It's great to hear others perspectives on it at the moment because I feel like I'm processing again. 

Thank you again.

❤️

[Charlotte]

@Solace

[Forestluv]

It sounds like your capacity of love is expanding - pushing against previous boundaries. I've found the sensation to be both beautiful and uncomfortable. 

[robdl]

3 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I then realised fear is the reason I cannot accept it. She agreed. 

 

Any opinions?

Is there an “I” apart from fear? An “I” that resists-escapes “fear”?  

What if it was learned that fear (and reaction-opposition to it) produces the “I”? 

That fear feeds itself by reacting to itself and this reaction-identification process creates the “I”?

Can ego-mind fuel itself by creating  the false division between fear and an experiencer of it? 

 

 

Edited November 26, 2018 by robdl

[robdl]

 

We must not take for granted that there is an “I” experiencer which experiences fear. We have to investigate whether fear itself is actually creating the “I”.

Is fear a trick of ego-mind to sustain itself?

Edited November 26, 2018 by robdl

[robdl]

There’s nothing more “fear” loves-needs than an “I” to set itself apart from fear. 

The very division which fuels it.

Edited November 26, 2018 by robdl

[DrewNows]

18 minutes ago, robdl said:

We must not take for granted that there is an “I” experiencer which experiences fear. We have to investigate whether fear itself is actually creating the “I”.

To take this for granted is to assume truth, as in an idea of what is, without seeing the fact

12 minutes ago, robdl said:

There’s nothing more “fear” loves-needs than an “I” to set itself apart from fear. 

The very division which fuels it.

this would be the true breakthrough to understand where and why fear comes about and see the whole conditioning in of itself as one movement  

 

[robdl]

1 minute ago, DrewNows said:

 

this would be the true breakthrough to understand where and why fear comes about and see the whole conditioning in of itself as one movement  

 

To unconditionally observe that self, fear, and desire are one unitary thought movement. A self-feeding loop, which conjures a “self” apart from “fear” to fuel its movement.

[kieranperez]

Sounds like you’re uncovering how much fear has run your life and your motivations and discovering how you’ve been unknowingly choosing fear over love and your afraid to let that love go because if you choose love over fear your more vulnerable and exposed to the uncertainties of life which your fear is trying to protect you from but you now have too much clarity to let that drive your life anymore.

As far as I can tell, this is huge. Right on! Happy for you and much love! Grow that love and be open to the uncertainty and possibilities of life!

[Hellspeed]

Maybe the therapist is a holistic healer too, one can never know until has the experience. 

If it helped, very beautiful. 

[Solace]

@Charlotte 

That was a huge emotional release you had that you were holding onto. It feels utterly expanding, and helps us connect with the deepest layer of Bliss that is behind all of existence.

This state you experienced was temporary, but can be more easily achieved by you now. It’s like coming back after a 10 day meditation retreat: if we engage in our thoughts again, instead of remaining steadfast in our heart center we will return back to our original state. But with practice, we can always stay Heart-centered even when we feel uncomfortable emotionally, or with thoughts pulling at or awareness. That is our power, that no matter what, we can focus our awareness anywhere! 

In my experience, maybe in yours too, it’s often in emotional discomfort that the biggest past pains or hurts are released. When this emotion arises we can say to our Hearts or the place we feel the emotion(from our Hearts), “It’s okay. I know you were innocently hurt, and not seen for the beautiful light that you are and always have been in the past. I accept that I can’t change those facts, but right now, I instead offer you my entire Love, and will be with you now and forever until you are healed by my embrace. I’m sorry i wasn’t there for you before, i didn’t know the pain you were in, I will be now my love”. 

You are the Heart. You are this brilliant ball of white light that can heal any emotion or thought or person by holding space for it, and speaking to whatever it is as shown above. We are already perfect, everything that is other than that is here to be healed. We first need to heal ourselves by finding that deepest place within ourselves that is perfect deep with our Hearts, and staying there for as long as possible! Look at the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Matt Kahn, Papaji, Lincoln Gergar, Meister Eckhart, and nisargadatta maharaj. These people have helped my mind see that the Heart is who we are, and that it has the power to heal everything and transmute all fears and doubts held in the chakras.

Speak from your Heart, live from your heart, whatever arises, allow it to take you deeper into the Heart if you want to find peace or have ever wondered what life is, or how you are alive beyond all odds.

Btw, I love what you are doing with the Therapist. It was a big break through. More to come, lots of tears and crying, and pain, and then joy again, each time you get stronger. I wish you the best with her, and with your own growing relationship with your Self. 

Being heart centered attracts more discomfort than usual for brief periods because it is healing the blockages in the chakras. The sun takes time to rise in the morning, and so does your ability to stay heart-centered, so take it slow and consistently like a tortoise. I tried to be the Rabbit at first... no doing that again ?

 

Edited November 26, 2018 by Solace

[Charlotte]

@Serotoninluv We seem to have gone through quite a lot of similar 'circumstances'/'experiences' which intrigues me. Yes exactly, it is uncomfortable and beautiful at the same time. 

@robdl Thats very interesting. Thanks for your input. So fear and the resistance to it sustains and creates the "I"?

9 hours ago, kieranperez said:

Sounds like you’re uncovering how much fear has run your life and your motivations and discovering how you’ve been unknowingly choosing fear over love and your afraid to let that love go because if you choose love over fear your more vulnerable and exposed to the uncertainties of life which your fear is trying to protect you from but you now have too much clarity to let that drive your life anymore.

As far as I can tell, this is huge. Right on! Happy for you and much love! Grow that love and be open to the uncertainty and possibilities of life!

You literally summed it up in a paragraph for me. Thank you. 

Yes, I've been unconsciously choosing fear (literally unconsciously hence the huge release). I need to let it grow now... It's all about trust. 

@Hellspeed maybe so. I can tell you though... I've done a number of therapies and I've never had any breakthroughs like this ever ?

@Solace Arw Solace wow. Thank you so much for your response. It's beautiful man ❤️

I will take your advice and be the tortoise with this. Thanks for the heads up. May I ask in what way was you the rabbit? 

I also agree it is uncomfortable and does hold a lot of discomfort but at the same time it's just to beautiful to turn your head away from, it's like it's calling you to be observed and that calling cannot be ignored. 

I also need to learn to create a clear communication between the heart. I'm still aware of self deception. 

[Solace]

@Charlotte

Embracing the deepest pain inside of us goes full circle and turns into an experience of peace or spaciousness. If we can become really aware, these emotions sometimes arise out of the blue, which adds to the beauty. It calls me to look at it just like you, to look at this emotion consciously, and feel it as best I can.

I was the rabbit whenever I thought something external would bring me happiness which happened many times, lots of unnecessary suffering, all because I didn’t know about the Spiritual Heart. I made changes in the physical mainly like with diets, but that was like plucking leaves off of a tree representing the ego: they grow back. To cut it at the root I later learnt and experienced that maintaining heart centered awareness was the key, like the rising and falling of the chest; and to have the courage to surrender myself more and more everyday to this breathe  

I hope this helps you so much. The most important change is within!

 

Edited November 27, 2018 by Solace

[Leo Gura]

@Charlotte What you ultimately fear is loss of your identity. A full expansion of love is equivalent to saying, "I die". And with that your identity disappears, you die, and you realize nirvana. You die into an infinite ocean of pure love. You realize that death is nothing other than pure love! What you've feared and avoided your entire life is just infinite love. Because it was too much for you. Literally. Pure love precludes the possibilty of drawing any boundary between you and anything else. Pure love is the end of all boundaries. You literally give up so much of yourself that it kills you. And you are happy to do it.

Without an identity, the only thing that remains is an ocean of love.

The ego deperately wants this ocean of love, but it is terrified of losing itself in the process. So it is caught in a tragic, impossible bind.

The ego does not realize yet that the ego itself is the only obstacle. Therein lies the tragedy of the struggle. All your life you have been the Devil struggling against and denying God's infinite love. In your arrogance you have rejected your true nature as God. You like being a devil. You fear what would happen to you if you surrender your devilry.

To the Devil, God's radiant light burns and stings like sunlight on a vampire.

The counter-intuitive move is to just walk right out into the light. But good luck convincing a vampire to do that. That would take a radical leap of faith  

In the end, the Devil will ALWAYS return to God. Because the Devil IS God! It's only a question of time.

[Solace]

@Leo Gura ?❤️