Insecurities: male versus female

[thehero]

My question is are girls more insecure than men? I have this belief somewhere in me that girls are all amazing and confident and I'm not. But I'm starting to realize girls are just as insecure, if not more??

Girls are physically weaker, this makes me think that girls are more fearful due to not being able to fend for themselves like men. 

Men also have a lot more privilege than girls. Men can get jobs easier, get more pay. I also hear horror stories of females all the time.

 

 

However, whenever I hear stories about genders, I always hear: men are so bad, we are cheaters, rapists and assholes. 

Girls can get lots of guys. I have a friend that's a girl, she has no self esteem but has several dudes that are in love with her. I dont have girls in my life so it makes me think that girls are the choosers and we men have to get lucky. 

What do you think? 

 

[Talinn]

There's like a lot of universal qualifiers and in this post.

"No" "always" "all".

Drop them. Add nuance.

2 hours ago, thehero said:

I have this belief somewhere in me that girls are all amazing and confident and I'm not.

Well a girl can walk up to you with a pistol and threaten to shoot you. In this case you'd call her evil and not amazing because you did think you were so amazing.

There is very little use for words such as "always" never" "all" "none".

And luck may exist but it is best to assume that it does not.

[aurum]

3 hours ago, thehero said:

My question is are girls more insecure than men?

Why are you even trying to define things in such a black and white way?

People in general are insecure, you can't not be at lower states of consciousness.

3 hours ago, thehero said:

 I dont have girls in my life so it makes me think that girls are the choosers and we men have to get lucky. 

That's your own projection. You think because it's that way for you, it must be the same for other men. Men who are more successful with women don't see it that way.

[thehero]

god fuck you guys are right. where the fuck is my nuance? thanks. there's way too many variables to just say women are more insecure than men. ive been hanging out with my parents and this feminist women that thinks all men are evil. too much black and white thinking

[Spiral]

In my experience girls are very often insecure, often for completely irrational reasons. It’s tends to be temporary. 

I’ll give you a example, back in uni when we had new girl students. The younger once among them often had a feeling that that weren’t good enough, not good looking enough even if the most appealing guy was dating them for instance. They had a strong need for compliments.

Ironically the most unappealing trait they had was their insecurity and the behaviours the had to deal with it.

[tenta]

Women have it easier in dating and dominate over men in the majority of academics...

And that is a black and white question

 

[universe]

Depends from person to person. Every girl and every boy has their own level of insecurity.

I think girls usually date upwards the confidence ladder.

[thehero]

I have a deep desire to be authentic to how I'm feeling right now, but how I'm feeling right now will repulse the girl I think? honestly i hate not being able to be myself and "fake" who i am. like fake that i'm so alpha or fake that i'm cool. i just want to be me, but "me" is so far away from confidence. i'm currently very insecure. Do I just have to wait until I gain confidence and finances before girls will be attracted to me and in the meantime, express myself and be okay with girls not being attracted to me? 

I feel like if i talked about my insecurities and my weaknesses, she will get turned off immediately. 

Because I'm not this super confident guy? 

So what do I do? Is there any high conscious ways of going about game/attracting women/relationships? Anyone know of books or courses? 

[universe]

9 hours ago, thehero said:

So what do I do? Is there any high conscious ways of going about game/attracting women/relationships?

The high conscious way is to be aware of your negative thoughts and believes. All your insecurities are literally caused by a lack of awareness (Remember, there are no problems in the now). But all good, most girls are also insecure. Insecure about their jobs, their looks, social interactions.... whatever. The one thing I would focus on is your confidence in regard to them (girls, specifically the girl you are talking to / dating right now). This is the biggest one, as it manifests in the moment when you talk to her or want to get physical.

 

Notice any negative thoughts arising, accept them and let them go.

Notice any negative emotions arising, accept them and let them go.

Thoughts could be "She doesnt like me", "Shes going to leave me", "I am not good enough for her"

Emotions could be fear. Fear of rejection, of loss, of anything.

Notice that the emotions are typically caused by your thoughts.

 

That is how I did it and you can do to. If you want you can pm me and we can talk more in detail.