I need some help/pointers ??

[Ingit]

Lately I been working on my every aspect.....my reactions and all.....!  I feel very upset and doubtful when someone lies to me even though I feel them lying to me, Trust me onw pf my friend lied to me like he wants to show me something l, His attitude and all.... But I feel very sad about how he tries to fool me by lying and I feel sad inside thinking and making bad situations.... I had been trying to watch me getting disturbed feom the situation, I try to observe but end up getting punished by my sadness of my mind thinking how bad the people who lie to me are.... ! I am unablw to watch it going on inside me. I need some help about it. 

[Hellspeed]

Retire in your Breath. It will all make sense, take a couple of hours each day for yourself in nature if you can. 

[Ingit]

@Hellspeed thanks 

[zambize]

Hi so this might be a challenge for me to help you because it seems like you tried to solution I would have recommended, which is to simply observe it.  Well kind of simply.  What I personally do is when some emotion such as anxiety/fear/etc  arises,  I'll usually take a deep breathe while I channel a sort of loving energy in my chest.  Now I channel this into my emotions which for negative emotions, those typically seem to arise in my experience as knots in my stomach that need to be resolved (this kind of depends on the emotion).  So my advice stays the same to what you are supposed to do, observe your emotions deeply, resolve them as much as you can and don't run away from them or try to push them out the door, it's perfectly fine and normal to feel the way you do.  Now because you are already doing this apparently and you end up being "punished" for observing your emotions, I would recommend doing this practice when you aren't in an extremely emotional state.  Get good at being aware of the emotions you are feeling, good or bad, and continue to practice.  Next time you feel joy or love, investigate that sensation.  What the fuck do you even like about love or that feeling, be specific.  You can use this same skill of being hyper-aware of your positive emotions,  to help you out with your negative emotions.  Finally,  I think it's important to ask yourself what are you doing with this friend.  Are you often sad or frustrated around him?  Are you afraid of being alone, or taking responsibility of how he would feel if you cut off the friendship.  If you want to improve, you need to take full responsibility for how you feel and act, just as he does.  

 

Let's look really closely at this particular quote:

 

" I try to observe but end up getting punished by my sadness"

To me, it seems like you are blaming your emotions or your sadness on your inability to observe/be happy in the moment.  I believe a more accurate thing to say is that you feel sadness, yet don't have the experience or know-how to avoid suffering from your sadness.  The only question that matters here is what could you be doing differently?  It's not like you felt like feeling sad, we have seemingly little control over what perceptions and emotions pop up, but you can limit your resistance to what you feel and surrender to it.  

I think you made a great first step in asking for advice, best of luck changing your life!

[Ingit]

@zambize thanks mate... appreciate thise words.....  Maybe I resist things and blame myself and others for making me feel such... Maybe I suck at accepting the present

[Hellspeed]

You are a potential Master if you follow the Breath and conquer your own pain. 

[zambize]

12 minutes ago, Ingit said:

@zambize thanks mate... appreciate thise words.....  Maybe I resist things and blame myself and others for making me feel such... Maybe I suck at accepting the present

Hey I suck at accepting the moment too the majority of the time, but I have gotten better, best of luck in your journey and don't worry about resisting things and blaming others.  We all do the exact same thing.  For example,  I play league of legends and it's usually right after I die or do something really stupid that I choose to take it out on whoever is doing the worst.  I got my issues, you got your issues, that's all perfectly acceptable and expected.  Have a good time reducing your suffering, don't worry about what issues you have, but be conscious of them and if you want to, fix them.  Could try that out for a few weeks and let us know how that went

[Ingit]

@zambize ?????????