Relationship Anxiety / Rocd Or Relationship Ocd

[LLGMLI]

Hello all, my first time trying to write in a forum, but I feel I need to try something else for help... I'm in my 30's, and I have struggled for almost 6 years since my divorce to find the right partner, and every time I get into a new one, its great for a short period of time, then I find myself over analyzing the girl, noticing her flaws or things I don't like, and if or when they become deal breakers to me, we end up breaking up, then I feel depressed and struggle to find someone else.  I gave up for a couple of years just dating causally and not becoming too close or too attached to anyone, and then last year I found someone I felt could be the "one"  We've been together 11 months, we live together, and we have a baby coming, (yeah it was an accident, and I'm excited and nervous about it at the same time,)  She's due in 2 months, and I love her, and we're great as a couple, no one has been more kind, loving, generous, thoughtful and patient with me and my insecurities... and lately I've been struggling again.  I've had professional counselor help, googled ton of videos and this is how I found this link, but for some reason I have been feeling anxious and depressed around her, and kind of in general lately... No Idea why! So much to be grateful for and happy about, and yet I'm sad. Then I get frustrated that I'm sad, and I can't figure out why! The only thing I can possibly say that is not my favorite thing about my girl, is that she is a little shorter than most of my other girlfriends, but that doesn't make her less beautiful to me, but I do find myself at times looking at her as though she is a child or teenager instead of an adult. This causes me at times to withdraw and not engage as much sexually, and I wonder if that is what is making me depressed? 

There is a team I found online called ROCD or relationship OCD, and it affects people that have been in bad relationships or divorced or just never found true happiness with a mate, and they start to become overly critical or obsessive about their relationships and try to control things and when there are things that they can't control, (for example her height,) it cause anxiety, and then depression.  I'm not sure if that is true or if that is what I have but it sounds like it makes sense.

I just want to find contentment and happiness and no more depression or anxiety around my girl, I love her, but this pain is causing me to 2nd guess everything and it's causing distance and frustration between her and I.... I'm open to any constructive thoughts or advice, I appreciate you taking the time to read this... Thank you!

[ICSounds]

Well I don't know much about relationships but I've been going through a lot of negative thoughts over the past month and I've found that practicing mindfulness (Leo has a great video on mindfulness meditation) has helped me a lot with overcoming this negativity as it helps to raise awareness of these feelings and thoughts and helps with keeping present in the moment rather than stuck in the head. So I think it would help you to get into a meditation practice for 20+ min a day. Hope this helps.