Sabotaging victim mindset

[Healingheart]

Hey guys,

Would love some advice or some perspective.

 

So last year I started watching ''the victim episodes'' from leo. I got angry for a few months cause I didn't want to accept I was acting as a victim.

After that I decided to stop being a victim. So I began to believe I could take action in my life.

But the thing is.. I did a major deception. I deceived myself as not being a victim anymore, saying I could do anything I want. But getting mad at life, people and myself. 

So the thing I did was basically taking responsibilty of the now, without acknowledging the past. 

Now I come to the realization that I can't take control of my life if I deny the past.

 

I know the past has happened, I know these things happened to me, but still it feels like it didn't happen to me.

Wy don't I wanna accept I was hurt in the past? Wy don't I accept the fact that I have low self esteem? Wy defend myself, it doesn't work?

[Equanimitize]

On 11/24/2018 at 4:28 PM, Healingheart said:

Wy don't I wanna accept I was hurt in the past? Wy don't I accept the fact that I have low self esteem?

Maybe you are avoiding pain because the truth often times is disguised as something horrific that you don't want to face but in reality the truth is liberation. When you resist pain, suffering will manifest itself into your reality. 

 

On 11/24/2018 at 4:28 PM, Healingheart said:

Wy defend myself, it doesn't work?

Then stop defending yourself, accept whatever arises like the peaceful warrior that you are.