Feeling of coming home during first mushroom trip

[Gneh Onebar]

Hi guys,

I’m very excited to share my first mushroom experience with you, that ultimately was the reason for me to join this forum and take consciousnesswork a lot more serious than before. Before the trip I was meditating approximately five days a week for 15 minutes for about a year.

Four months ago, after a year of doing intense research on psychedelics, I finally convinced myself to give mushrooms a try. I took them with a very good friend, who is in psychedelics for about 10 years, in a safe place and his girlfriend was tripsitting us. I knew that the coming up could be rather exhausting and challenging, especially the moment, where you have to fully surrender to the experience, because in daily life I actually like to be in control of things. After a while I started to fight against the experience until the moment, I finally was able to convince myself, that if I was going to lose my mind, that would just be ok – my friends’ girlfriend was sitting next to me, grounding me with a few hugs. After that things started to become very interesting. I became aware of the fact, that every step in my life, every struggle, every success, every emotion (good or bad), every thought, every dream and so on was only experienced to push me to this exact moment, were I was becoming aware of all this. And this exact moment was just perfect, in fact it merely was. I looked at my friends and was absolutely shocked of my previous ignorance. Though the most amazing thing was, that ‘me’ experiencing this, felt like (finally) coming home. I had the insight, that somehow, I knew ‘all this’, but had forgotten everything about it and my job for the future is to come back to this ‘state’, until I ultimately get it fully.

The day after the trip I felt mentally and physically very refreshed, but during the evening, I had sort of a panic attack, because I felt so tight and reduced in my body. Looking at the world through my eyes, thought this limited perspective, seemed so strange to me. The next day I concluded instinctively that to integrate this experience, I had to take my meditation practice to another level. I began to meditate 30 minutes every single day and a month ago I increased it to 40 minutes. Never missed a day since the trip. I also started doing yoga for half an hour every morning directly after getting up. And last but not least I undertook a marathon of absorbing content from this website – by the way thx a lot for the amazing stuff shared here – and registered to the forum.

Greetings from Munich to the world.