Advice On Friends

[SaynotoKlaus]

  I used have video games as my main hobby for about 15 years , and in this time i made some friends who i had this in common with. I know them for many years , and i care about them. Lately it's hard for us to connect and "hang out" because i quit video games. They live in other cities (and countries) so we can't meet to engage in other activities that bond us - only like once/twice a year when they visit.

In the last months i kinda forced myself  - it wasn't that hard to be honest :)- to play games with them so we can spend time together , but i'm bored with games and i don't feel like doing this anymore. It also doesn't help that they are not interested in self improvement like me.

I know that any actualized person would advice me to just let the friendship die since i shouldn't act against my values , but this feels like such a cold-hearted thing to do. Like i used them to have a good time , and now that this doesn't work anymore for me i'm ditching them. 

I'm conflicted because i don't want to do things i don't like anymore , but i also don't want to ignore my friends.

[oschi]

I used to belong to a group of people that I played some video games with. We usually tried to meet once a year. This is already the second year that I don't get to see them. We used to play ego shooters as a clan. The clan doesn't exist for already like 3 years. Still they meet each other just for fun. But it is far away from where I live. I don't manage to do that. Lack of time and money. I feel a little bit bad for kinda quitting the friendship cause they are really cool people. But I just go on with my life.

Your situation is a little different, I guess. Still you have to focus on what you really care. Friendship can't be focused on a certain hobby. All in all I think that when you have such a kind of friends it doesn't really count as friends. When I don't get to see a person like an average of once a month at least, then i question the friendship. How much do you play? You don't have to quit it. Is it an addiction?

[SaynotoKlaus]

28 minutes ago, oschi said:

How much do you play? You don't have to quit it. Is it an addiction?

 It used to be an addiction , but now it's the opposite. I do play every now and then but i don't enjoy it. I play mostly with friends.

Sometimes i play by myself because i'm too tired to do my main activities , but i regret it every time because i'm having 0 fun.

 

Edited April 7, 2016 by SaynotoKlaus

[oschi]

i would just say that you should find another circle of friends then. They will not fully appreciate your presence when you don't enjoy playing with them. 

[mandyjw]

Going through this myself. My best advice is don't play games with them but stay in contact, if you can build relationships with them without the games those relationships are real, if not then they we just based on that one common interest and you shouldn't feel bad letting them fall away.

[A way to Actualize]

Just probably you won't attract those friends to you when you become more heart-centered and evolve in spirituality. I had some sort of the same thing. At first being okay with the experiences, being honest with the experiences, thoughts and emotions I am having.  I advanced in loving myself more and more later. Just that caused to release density in my body (low conscious patterns). They went away automaticcaly. You never need to reject friends if you say frequently to yourself: I love you. Watch Matt Kahn for this, he teaches mostly self-love that instantly solves your problems with this (in about 3 weeks), you do not have to do anything, just listen to his video and it integrates automatically (weird experience if for the first time).

[zakur0]

Sometimes i feel that the whole 'friends' thing is overrated.