I am afraid of women

[saffron]

@NoSelfSelf the issue isn't me wanting happiness, it's me fearing the female after growing up repressed and then seeing female domination porn and learning people actually get off to it.

@Samra So you've actually seen people get off to action scenes of death and destruction? All the things you listed aren't arousing to the straight male. What about them are so arousing, actually? They're action scenes, not a porno. Big difference.

[saffron]

@Emerald I watched your video. I'm gonna have to be ELI 5 Lol (Explained Like I'm 5) Maybe I will have to see a professional psychologist after all. I know what I'm in for looking for a girl friend/spouse. I plan on opening up to her when the time is right, and maybe have therapy sessions with her

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, saffron said:

@Emerald I watched your video. I'm gonna have to be ELI 5 Lol (Explained Like I'm 5) Maybe I will have to see a professional psychologist after all. I know what I'm in for looking for a girl friend/spouse. I plan on opening up to her when the time is right, and maybe have therapy sessions with her

I can break it down a little bit.

So, first off, how do you feel if you believe that your actions will be perceived as feminine, woman-like, or simply not masculine or not masculine enough? 

If you perceive yourself or think others are perceiving you as being like a woman, then what is your internal experience in terms of thought and emotions?

[saffron]

I suppose I wouldn't care if people perceived me as feminine? I mean so long as I'm not wearing dresses or putting on make up and "feminine" things alike?

[Emerald]

13 minutes ago, saffron said:

I suppose I wouldn't care if people perceived me as feminine? I mean so long as I'm not wearing dresses or putting on make up and "feminine" things alike?

What if you were perceived as simply being unmanly? Like if they (or you) thought you failed to live up to the societal standards of manhood.

[saffron]

Then I simply can't care. Do what makes you happy and don't care about others.

[zambize]

21 minutes ago, saffron said:

Then I simply can't care. Do what makes you happy and don't care about others.

It would be unfortunate though if for whatever reason loving others made you happier than you ever could have hoped to be focusing solely on yourself.  I'm not going to say this is the case for you, but maybe give it a shot, you have many many years to try different approaches 

[universe]

On 26.11.2018 at 0:42 AM, saffron said:

@Samra So you've actually seen people get off to action scenes of death and destruction? All the things you listed aren't arousing to the straight male. What about them are so arousing, actually? They're action scenes, not a porno. Big difference.

If you are straight, then no movie involving anything sexual about male actors will "get you off". Same applies for women who see girls/characters like the ones you posted. Can you see that?

The same questions you raise can be questioned to your examples in the first post. I fail to see the big difference you mention.

Again, Im not dismissing your problems. I believe they are very real to you. But I dont think these movie/video game-girl media you mentioned are the culprit of these problems. Maybe you are using them to justify you problems to others or mask the real issue here. Maybe you dont know the root of your problems yourself. I can be wrong of course.

[saffron]

@universe What are you talking about for the 1st half of your post? I'm not using them to "justify my problems" They came as very big shock to me because I grew up repressed. I was never allowed to view women as free human beings and then learning at 13 that people get off to female domination is what's got me fucked up. 

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, saffron said:

Then I simply can't care. Do what makes you happy and don't care about others.

So, would you say that it's accurate that you don't have any emotional reaction or attachments to being or seeming masculine or simply avoiding seeming feminine?

[saffron]

I suppose. I mean, I would attend my daughter's tea parties but if she wanted to paint my nails I wouldn't do it,

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, saffron said:

I suppose. I mean, I would attend my daughter's tea parties but if she wanted to paint my nails I wouldn't do it,

Which areas would you say you experience the most resistance to women and femininity on a regular bases?

So, when all the issues of the original post come up, what triggers that fear? And what outcomes or potential realities are you afraid of?

[zambize]

2 hours ago, saffron said:

I suppose. I mean, I would attend my daughter's tea parties but if she wanted to paint my nails I wouldn't do it,

I wouldn't be surprised if you changed your mind when she looked into your eyes all cute

[saffron]

@Emerald I have trouble seeing women as independent human beings... I was forced NOT to take sex ed so I would have to teach my self in my later teens. And then having to see people actually getting of to female domination porn. And then having to learn the grim reality of why fathers threaten their daughter's boyfriend (which weird because weren't they in that position once? Did their wife's father threaten their life?)

 

@zambize that actually could work

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, saffron said:

@Emerald I have trouble seeing women as independent human beings... I was forced NOT to take sex ed so I would have to teach my self in my later teens. And then having to see people actually getting of to female domination porn. And then having to learn the grim reality of why fathers threaten their daughter's boyfriend (which weird because weren't they in that position once? Did their wife's father threaten their life?)

In lieu of seeing women as independent human beings, what are the assumptions you project onto women in terms of what you believe is happening internally for them thoughts and emotions-wise? 

Do you think she is scheming? Or that there is nothing going on inside? Or is it a blank for you? Or perhaps something else?

Edited November 27, 2018 by Emerald

[zambize]

2 minutes ago, saffron said:

@Emerald I have trouble seeing women as independent human beings... I was forced NOT to take sex ed so I would have to teach my self in my later teens. And then having to see people actually getting of to female domination porn. And then having to learn the grim reality of why fathers threaten their daughter's boyfriend (which weird because weren't they in that position once? Did their wife's father threaten their life?)

 

@zambize that actually could work

Just focus on having a cute kid, it'll all work out.  As far as this post though, really high props for trying to understand women and putting yourself out there on here, I hope you gain some knowledge/understanding that benefits you in life

[saffron]

@Emerald That they aren't "normal" because periods and babies. Again, I had to teach my self and was denied sex ed. I *sometimes* think of them as creatures from another world. 

@zambize I've been trying for 8 years now... it'll have to end 1 day...

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, saffron said:

@Emerald That they aren't "normal" because periods and babies. Again, I had to teach my self and was denied sex ed. I *sometimes* think of them as creatures from another world. 

@zambize

More-so, what do you anticipate their internal experience to be like. Like how do you think they feel and think about things? Or is there a projection that those things aren't occurring?

With regard to the "other-worldliness", what creatures or aliens come to mind (from popular culture or mythology) that is most reflective or close to your idea of women? - This meaning any movie characters that are creatures or cyborgs or succubi, etc. 

[saffron]

They are projections.  I don't know how I would suppose to feel. Again, how am I supposed to just drop these notions. It comes from years of being repressed. 

As for the creature, it feels as if, idk how to pin point it. Just something aninalistic. Something that would never be put in a zoo.

[zambize]

14 minutes ago, saffron said:

@Emerald That they aren't "normal" because periods and babies. Again, I had to teach my self and was denied sex ed. I *sometimes* think of them as creatures from another world. 

@zambize I've been trying for 8 years now... it'll have to end 1 day...

Just remember they are over 50% of the population (although i'm sure this is heavily regional),  that would make you weird for not having a baby or a period.  They could have an even more valid idea than you in believing you and I weren't normal D:::::