Black Widow Bite experience & what i've learned

[Hellspeed]

The bite from a Black Widow showed me many insights about Fear. 

Maybe because I was so scared years ago of spiders. Maybe that fear brought me in the situation and the chain events to the happening. 

It was a very frighting experience, feelings of running from a giant monster that does squeaky noises and waits for you at the end of the tunnel. 

Many hours of agony of Fear, very high breathing and pumping heart. I had to embrace death and let go and go with the flow in order to not enter in panic attacks.  The fear of death changes one, the embrace of death will lead one to embrace Breath fully, at any level. 

Even had a paranoia like fear, living at the ground level of a house in north London, I jumped throw the window and sat down on the grass in front of the porch and just Breathe. Back then I thought if I exit the door I will lose myself. From that day, Breath took a very different meaning in my life. 

 

[seeking_brilliance]

Wow, thank you for a very genuine post. I can only imagine being in a situation where you had to truly embrace death, but lived, how that could change you forever. As you say, you learned to embrace breath fully.

I often go walking in a 90 acre park next to my house, and have had a few conversations with myself about what if I get bitten by a venemous snake or spider. At first just thinking about it would give rise to a sense of panic and anxiety, but consciously (ha!) calming my breath, I laid it out then and there that if it were to happen, and I don't make it to a hospital in time, I'd be OK with it. I'm not asking for it to happen, but it wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that I know there are others who would suffer a lot of pain over it. That's something I'm still struggling with.  

I also accepted death at the end of a somewhat bad trip, and years after have still noticed the effects this has had on my psychology and fear of death. 

How did you eventually overcome this fear of exiting that door, or was some kind of spell lifted? (just curious) 

[Strikr]

I suppose you wouldn't sleep there ! ( yep that's what you think, Australia, is wild )

spider are such a wonderful creature though, always had a love for them, I know they eat fly, something I really approve haha

why do they always create such web from their ass, without knowing really how, but still they do it

that's wonderful

don't you want to hug them

 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2018 by Strikr

[Hellspeed]

20 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

 

How did you eventually overcome this fear of exiting that door, or was some kind of spell lifted? (just curious) 

 

It was a momentary delusion on my first awakenings. What I understood is that the "door" was the eyes/head/mind, etc. and the window was the air/heart, etc. 

Edited November 24, 2018 by Hellspeed