Dating and the Spiral Dynamic

[Wyze]

I was wondering if the emotional connection and the "vibe with someone" that are often described as ways of finding the ultimate love; are really just people resonating on the same stage?

So for example; if Person A is at the level Orange, they are more likely to find another Orange to partner up with. Yet when that Person A was at Blue, he/she would not have found the same Orange person to be worthy as their life partner.

So how do we exactly make this choice? At what point does the person say I am ready to "settle down"?

Is there a tendency to marry/date up the spiral as well?

[shermano667]

I lived with a girl who was mostly in stage blue due to her upbringing( living in the bible belt i had grown accustomed to this.) I hadnt studied spiral dynamics at the time though and she was really physically attractive. Me at the time being mostly green and still quite a bit of orange and probably a bit of tier 2 in there from watching leo all the time made pretty interesting. It was a fairly enjoyable relationship at moments but in the end it was alot to handle. she thought i was going to hell because didnt believe jesus died on the cross for my sins type of deal. I was a hardcore vegan hippy working a pretty high paying sales job wanting to smoke weed and party all the time. It didnt work out and really caused me quite a bit of stress

[Wyze]

@shermano667 thanks for sharing your experience. I think the difference in the core of the stages made it difficult for you to relate to her and for her to relate to you.

[Brittany]

8 hours ago, Wyze said:

I was wondering if the emotional connection and the "vibe with someone" that are often described as ways of finding the ultimate love; are really just people resonating on the same stage?

I don't think it is.

The good feeling in romantic love is because we "temporarily access truth" -- not of any choice of our own, but through biological chemicals forcing us into alignment with what is true. 

For a moment, your mind is forced biologically into a non-judgmental state. LOL The chemicals force you to have full acceptance of the present moment -- which is love.  But it's not .... lasting love because we always return back to ego mind. 

So I would argue that you can "fall in love" with someone of any stage. But when you return back to ego-mind, the stages of each person might impact how long the relationship will last.

But I don't know. I could be completely wrong on this. haha

Edited November 22, 2018 by Brittany

[Angelite]

Non-dual love.

https://www.spiritualexcellence.com/blog/love-and-marriage-in-islam/