Hospital (Trip) Report - Irresponsible yet profound

[ivankiss]

I mean, c'mon.

It's not like anyone would try to recreate this experience for themselves after reading my story. Thinking that is what is the delusion; not me being honest and transparent; not me sharing my deepest fears and creating an opportunity for others to learn from. Please be honest with yourself about your own fears.

This is a self-help forum. Not a self-destruction forum. Are my intentions not obvious then?

If you are trying so hard to demystify psychadelics, try not denying a part of them.

Edited December 25, 2018 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

@purerogue

Of course I did not. But I tried to include the idea of relativity for the conversation's sake.

I am very glad I "bumped into" a few amazing people on this forum. 

Happy to see you took away something from my story 

[pluto]

There cannot be Light without Darkness.

[Tistepiste]

@ivankiss how is your roommate doing? I see you posting about you and your soulmate going through this path but nothing of the guy you did this profound trip wirh

[ivankiss]

@Tistepiste Party animal, you mean? 

Haha. That's a good question. I really have no clue.

It seems like our friendship was brief and strictly tied to Portugal. Barely heard from him since we travelled on. 

Maybe our paths cross once again sometime in the future 

[Tistepiste]

@ivankiss so what are you doing right now? Travelling? Study? Work?

[ivankiss]

@Tistepiste No study and no real work. We have been living in Sri Lanka for nearly six months now. We were supposed to have a nice business opportunity here, but that backfired. So we found a new, even more suitable source of financial income. It's really kinda effortless, doesn't seem like work at all.

We feel like we extracted what needed to be extracted from Sri Lanka now. Slowly getting ready to move on. I have a huge desire to "lock myself" in a studio and record new material. It's been a while. 

I supose that will result in us returning to Slovenia and settling down there for some time. Travel is always desired tho. However it will mainly depend on the nudge, from now on. There is a lot of freedom, one could say.

How about you? What is your story?

[Tistepiste]

@ivankiss Interesting!

I finished studying in september. Then I started my own start-up with two friends. That didn't work out though and we quit 3 weeks ago.

Now looking for new opportunities but I am not so sure what I want to do

[ivankiss]

@Tistepiste Hmm.. What kind of study? What kind of start-up?

The opportunity will arise when least expected. Follow synchronisity and your excitement. Those are your compass 

[DoubleYou]

On 22-11-2018 at 8:43 PM, Mikael89 said:

I have had a trip on psychedelics (my only trip ever) which had a few similarities with your.

It lead to suicidal thoughts. And I thought the ambulance was a alien space ship.

I thought I saw/understood too much about reality, that I wasn't allowed to know see/know that much about reality. So it felt like I pissed off someone/something. And it took control over me, I literally became a puppet. And when I was trying to do something, for example call the ambulance it was like it was mocking me and said to me: "What are you trying to do now?" But somehow in the end I managed to make the call, but the speaking was difficult too.

And someone of the paramedics spoke my mother language (finnish) although I live in Sweden.

You don't want to piss off God (or whatever it might be..), trust me. 

To make things worse it has taken control over me once even when I have been sober. The theme in that incident was the same: God using me as puppet. Torturing me. I was forced to praise God etc., even shout out loud: "God is good."  But I guess it was just a psychosis.

Once it happens there's no turning back. I just hope that we aren't horribly mistakened about reality.

Anyway.. I don't know if any of this mean anything. It's probably just some stupid brain malfunctioning

Ive had similar experiences that also led to psychosis at some point. Even when sober. 

Youve been pissing off no one other than yourself. Change the word God into ego and you'll see how you've been torturing yourself all this time. Its just a manifestation of low self esteem. At least it was in my case. In a way its kind if true you're being used as a puppet, but its you that's unknowingly doing it. You as an ego. The good news is that by simply realising this, you can start to work it out.

"You don't want to piss off God" says it all. You don't want to piss of your ego cause it will turn on itself. Its you that's making these statements. Notice that. Its liberating. God is just a witness. How can it be pissed off? Only an ego can.

Ive even started tripping again so I guess I just wanted to say that I know what it feels like and its possible to break out of it.

[Tistepiste]

@ivankiss Software engineering and artificial intelligence

We wanted to create a smart system where people who need to rehabilitate after an accident or whatever else, can get immediate feedback on their movements through camera feedback of their own phone or laptop.

Instead of having to go to the physiotherapist every second week and not knowing if you actually do your exercise correctly

[ivankiss]

@Tistepiste Wow, that sounds like a really good idea. I can see how that could benefit those in need. Glad to see your intention is to help. I am sure that will be supported.

Hope you actualize your idea or move on to an even more revolutionizing one 

The world of A.I. is expanding extremely fast, that's for sure. It's rather exciting!

Whish you all the luck on your journey!

[Tistepiste]

@ivankiss <3 thanks a lot. I also practice music btw. Piano, drums and clarinet but mostly piano now. Really love it. The emotions can be so pure!

All the luck to you and your journey as well. 

[iGhost]

On 2018. 11. 22. at 1:42 AM, Leo Gura said:

@ivankiss It's this kind of nonsense that makes me regret I ever talked about psychedelics.

I'm fcking dead ??