How Do I Confront my Greatest Fear?

[Sukhpaal]

My greatest fear in life is that I will end up alone without a spouse. How do I confront that fear and over come it? I feel like my self inquiry and yoga practice gave me great growth but this fear of being alone forever never really changed. Any tips guys? Thank you. 

[Jack River]

Am “I” different than the “fear” that I wish to confront? 

Is this “i” and “fear” the product of the past(thought)? 

[Salvijus]

How long do you do self-enquiry?

Maybe give it some more time. Do it for 5-7years. i'm sure it will sort itself out by then

[Jack River]

9 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

How long do you do self-enquiry?

Maybe give it some more time. Do it for 5-7years. i'm sure it will sort itself out by then

 Maybe assuming time is necessary =Fear 

Edited November 20, 2018 by Jack River

[kieranperez]

46 minutes ago, Sukhpaal said:

My greatest fear in life is that I will end up alone without a spouse. How do I confront that fear and over come it? I feel like my self inquiry and yoga practice gave me great growth but this fear of being alone forever never really changed. Any tips guys? Thank you. 

Watch Leo’s episode on loneliness. Really sit with this fear. Don’t just listen to people telling you ‘the fear is an illusion.’ I invite you to disregard all that and really sit with that fear and investigate it. Why do you fear being alone? Is being alone really a factor that contribute to unhappiness? Why do you not like being alone? Could it be because deep down you don’t accept yourself and so you project your need for self acceptance into an illusory need for something external? Could it be that this need for a partner is just cultural programming? 

Sit down with it and get to the bottom line and then see it for what is and then work on dropping it. Use this to also get that you’re generating this fear along with all other fears. Get that fear is something g you’re doing. I can’t tell you how to do that just like someone can’t tell you how to get enlightened. Just do it.

[robdl]

45 minutes ago, kieranperez said:

Watch Leo’s episode on loneliness. Really sit with this fear. Don’t just listen to people telling you ‘the fear is an illusion.’ I invite you to disregard all that and really sit with that fear and investigate it. Why do you fear being alone? Is being alone really a factor that contribute to unhappiness? Why do you not like being alone? Could it be because deep down you don’t accept yourself and so you project your need for self acceptance into an illusory need for something external? Could it be that this need for a partner is just cultural programming? 

Sit down with it and get to the bottom line and then see it for what is and then work on dropping it. Use this to also get that you’re generating this fear along with all other fears. Get that fear is something g you’re doing. I can’t tell you how to do that just like someone can’t tell you how to get enlightened. Just do it.

That which is doing the psycho-analyzing (the analyzer) is one and the same as that which is being analyzed (the fear/conditioning/experiences/assumptions/beliefs/memories).       The fear/conditioning/beliefs/memories IS the analyzer.

Quote

Sri Ramana used to joke that employing the ego/mind to overcome the ego/mind is like hiring a thief, who is all dressed up as a policeman, to catch the thief. The policeman will pretend to make herculean efforts to catch the thief, give periodic reports of progress, but will fail each time (since the policeman is the thief!).

The psycho-analyzer is the thief in a policeman's uniform.

Or as @Jack River put it:

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Am “I” different than the “fear” that I wish to confront? 

 

Edited November 20, 2018 by robdl

[robdl]

When the whole structure of thought-self is understood, not just selective fragments of thought, then the nature of fear will simultaneously be wholly understood.

[Jack River]

7 minutes ago, robdl said:

When the whole structure of thought-self is understood, not just selective fragments of thought, then the nature of fear will simultaneously be wholly understood.

Fosho..In the understanding is the ending of fear. 

 

[XYZ]

I've accepted that for myself wholeheartedly and it's not something I think about anymore. This is a prime example of how what is someone else considers their biggest problem in life is for others not an issue at all. 

Can you accept that, yes, there is a possibility that you may never get married, or otherwise find a lifelong romantic partner. And learn to be absolutely okay with that?

Alone Forever.

That subjective interpretation shows that what bothers you is your own fear and worry projected on to the idea of perpetual bachelorhood, rather than the reality itself. You can be happy and fulfilled without ever finding "the one." Being without the intimacy we instinctually desire is something most men have to come to terms with sooner or later. Free yourself from the belief that you need a woman in your life to complete you, and likewise, eschew ideologies about avoiding relationships altogether.