Christmas Gift

[kieranperez]

Christmas is coming up and I’m planning on moving out now from home living with my dad and he and I don’t really have a relationship anymore and I know and can see everyday how much all of his problems and suffering is caused because he’s so “rationally minded” and considers himself a skeptic but really he’s a perfect description of what @Leo Gura accurately calls as a false skeptic in a very dogmatic way where he prides himself on being “honest” but he doesn’t see how he’s so resistant and manipulative and so on. 

Despite all this though, I do want to help in some sort of way if it’s even possible. I’m already so close to when I leave cutting ties with him which would mean I will have cut all ties with my immediate family except for maybe my little brother. As much as I am anger and extremely bitter deep down for being like “I thought you were right (about atheism, philosophy, etc.) all these decades,” and now that I see through the sham of the ego and all these dysfunctional patterns and that my parents weren’t that much more functional internally and deluded than anyone else, I do want, if it’s even possible to give at least my Dad a Christmas present of some sort of book that talks about enlightenment or at least gets him started to consider meditation. 

So if you had to recommend 1 book for a person like this, what would it be? I also have the booklist so I could on there too but I wanted to get a 3rd party take on this. I mean, he thinks meditation really should just be for stressed out CEOs. If you talk to him about questions like Free vs. Determinism he gets very dogmatic defending free will by using the whole ‘this whole debate just is an ideology for lazy people to accept there’s no free will so they don’t do anything. People are in charge of their decisions. You saying free will is an illusion is just bullshit people say to sound wise and smart. I have the choice to work my ass off and do good and not do bad’ He’s very much into debating and what not. I know this is probably a stretch but I thought I’d at least ask...

[Key Elements]

Ok, interesting...

I guess we all know someone like this who is close to us. For me, if I was in this situation, I wouldn't go and explain it, not even through a book. Maybe I'm incorrect in your father's case, but it seems unlikely that a person of this description would want to read such a book.

I would just get a nice Christmas card or a blank Christmas card and attach it to some general gift, like good chocolates. On the card, I would write: 'Wishing you a Merry Christmas...and much happiness and success...Btw...I found my life path. These are the two diagrams that helped me to discover it...' Then, I would draw the Spiral Dynamics diagram and this diagram:

pointed at stage orange. Then, I would continue writing on the card: 'Well, Dad, if you're curious to know where I'm at, here's my website (include website). If you want to know more about these diagrams, here are the books (include book names). However, I would just watch videos on YouTube first before reading those books. It's much easier to understand.'

B-I triangle diagram

[Salvijus]

You can't make him understand anything untill you fix the relationship.

Right now you're debating who's smarter. He or you. And there's conflict and heated arguments. In such atmosphere he will never going to admit that you were right even if you are. That would mean he lost and you won. He will be avoiding that in so many ways. It's just pointless bittering and arguing.

First if have to become friends with your dad.  Only then he will be willing to be open to your ideas. 

You have to create a joyful atmosphere, a very comfortable, joyful, loving atmosphere. Only when people are happy, they loosen up. They become more open to new things. When heated debates are happening and when you both are on each other's throat..it's like a fight. Who's right and who's wrong. Both want to be right no matter what. And how do you win? By never admiting defeat. That's why those conversations you have are producing zero effect, only anger and frustration.

Anyways....

I'd give him Inner Engineering book. That book simply has no flaws. It's made in such a way that you can't even argue with it. It just so so logical. And book itself is very light and funny with many jokes, it's very easy to read. Unlike other nondual books that use very complicated language. 

It's a huge advantage that the book is always funny because only then people's minds opens up to new ideas.

It's easy to read,.it's very engaging and there's unbeatable logic in it that if your father reads it there's no escape for him. 

 

Edit: also he puts all the wisdom in funny stories that captures readers attention. It's not just dry informacion or philosophy. That's a big reason why this book is so good for beginners to nonduality. Sadhguru made this book exacly for this purpose. Exacly for your father you can say. To take even most religious unthinking or whatever mindset and direct them to nonduality.

Edited November 20, 2018 by Salvijus