Help me solve this mystery

[Rob456]

I'm unconsciouss and hooked to stimulants. I'm so distracted that I forget simple important stuff that I would remember if I just sat still for 5 minutes. I'm so hooked to these stimulants that I'm too impatient to get up and take a shower. My hygiene is poor because of this. I don't shower for week(s) and sometimes a month. 
I'm:
    • depressed, victim and miserable
    • masturbating everyday
    • netflix while eating junk food
    • gaming + youtube 15h/day
    
So can you help me explain this:
    1. I take shower
    2. Dry up
    3. Come out
    4. I'm Absolutely pure and cleansed

    • Unhooked and and cleansed from all kinds of stimulations.
    • walking and sitting is stimulating enough.
    • Effortlessly and helplessly mindfull.
    • I can sit still for hours without being bored
    • My mindfulness is off the charts
    • I do everything in slow motion cuz im so patient and its so stimulating. I move, think, talk and everything consciously slowly.
    • No cravings or sense of urgency.
    • Music is like magic
    • Movies are intensly immersing
    • Video games are as if im discovering them for the first time.
    • Chores are not chores. They're just another stimulating experience.
    • I see everything with fresh eyes like a newborn baby.
    • My mind is silent.
    • Im content with the present moment.
    
What  the   fuck?!
Howwww?

Edit:

This is all gone and I'm back to the usual unconsciousness within 1-3 hours as cravings and monkey mind gradually start to creep up and depending how quick i give in to them.

These "cleansing" showers happen more frequently at some times in my life than others. Temperature of the water didn't seem to have any effect. Duration skews towards causation. My mental state(weather meditative or daydreaming) didn't seem to matter. I suspect the biggest factor being how long its been since i showered. I resisted getting in the shower and then once I was in I resisted getting out. Could it be that I finally let go of the resistance? After a long day at the beach it has a similar cleansing effect. I've had these since I was a child. I never questioned it and I thought it was normal. 

As I got more serious with personal development and getting my shit together I stared using this to my benefit. I started taking showers more and more frequently without any resistance. With each shower the effects lessened till it eventually was indistinguishable from placebo. Effects, if any, were subtle. I am disappoointed. They had tremendous value but I abused it and now its gone. 

 

Edited November 20, 2018 by Rob456
More info

[Preetom]

I heard teal swan saying that Water has huge potential to instantly raise one's vibrational frequency. 

No wonder taking a bath feels refreshing and good

[winterknight]

The hot shower gave your brain a big dose of dopamine, which made you feel good and helped you regulate your emotions and impulsivity.

Please go get therapy, it will improve your life a lot.

Google "psychoanalytic institute <your city>" and call them and ask for a referral.

[i am I AM]

Maybe you had a mini-enlightenment. If so, your consciousness is permanently changed (until you have a new enlightenment experience; pretty cool, if my (old, mid-60's) sources are accurate).

That being said, consider @winterknight because he is enlightened. See "I am enlightened sincere seekers ask me anything"

Edited November 20, 2018 by i am I AM

[Rob456]

I added some more information at the end.

@Preetom that would explain the why the beach causes a same but lesser effect.

@winterknight I'm well better now thanks. That was about a year ago. Could you tell me a bit more though?

@i am I AM I wish.