30 days living on the street experiment

[Chris White]

Hi All =)

This year I did 11 one month awakening challenges/experiments with myself so far. 

In my 11th challenge I voluntarily lived for one month homeless on the streets. 

In this journal I want to share with you my experiences during these 30 days.

Maybe for some of you this is helpful or inspiring.

Much Love,

Chris White

[Chris White]

? Dreambook-Entry 63 ?

Day 1:

“Today is the day! This morning I locked away all my belongings. My final challenge 11 of my Master of love and life has started. In this social experiment I’m going to live without money, homeless on the streets. 

———————————————————————

I just kept a sleeping bag and an iso mat and from now on I am living on the streets for one month.

I thought a long time about where I should do it. 

And at first I wanted to do it in a third world country, but when I was in South America, Africa or Asia It became very clear to me that no one is going to believe a western looking guy to have no money and the language barrier wouldn’t help either. And then I thought: I’m from Germany, so why not just do it there. It’s also where I started the Master of love and life and so I liked the idea that it’s also going to end here.

But because Germany is my home. I needed to come up with some rules. I decided that I had to pick a city that I don’t know, a city that I am not familiar with and that has at least more than > 200.000 inhabitants. My intuition decided, I chose a city and thats where I am right now. Let’s see how it goes. Today is Day 1.“

[Zweistein]

Courageous! 

[tsuki]

1 hour ago, Chris White said:

In my 11th challenge I voluntarily lived for one month homeless on the streets. 

That is insane. You are out of your mind and I love you .

[Charlotte]

Wow!!! ??

[Rilles]

Amazing... will follow your journal for sure

[Robert]

@Chris White Respect! 

[Robert]

@Chris White Try not to die, though. Be careful! 

[Chris White]

Many people asked me:  “White, why do you do this crazy course?“

To answer that, I have to give you a bit more background information about myself first. 

I was brought up super privileged, born into a family where money was never an issue. At the beginning of my twenties I studied in 3 major international cities, I lived in a penthouse, I drove a 150.000$ sports car and all just because I won the sperm lottery. Okay not only because of that. To be fair, I was also quite successful myself. I graduated in international business with honors, I was not only taught in a private course on "startup thinking" by billionaire Peter Thiel himself, I was also awarded as best. I also worked as the personal assistant of one of the most successful food Restaurateurs in Germany and my first startup won several prizes and funding. I was at stage orange you could say, but I always asked myself:

How much of my materialistic success was because I have always been privileged? Because my circumstances naturally provoked success?

Most people told me: Why on earth do you worry about that, just continue, enjoy your “dreamlife“ and don’t care… And it’s true, I could’ve just taken over the family company and have a very “easy“ life. But that’s not me! Deep down I didn’t feel fulfilled. I sensed there’s more to life. So instead of continuing this “dreamlife“, I quitted my job, I decided to reject all further financial support from my family, I gave my car and my penthouse back and started the Master of love and life just with my savings to face my other side. But even though my savings are steadily melting away, I still have never experienced what it means to be really poor, what it means to starve, what it means to have no shelter, what it means to count every penny. So when I started my Master of love and life I already knew that a part of doing all my courses was to prepare me for this final course.

Now you know why I do this experiment. ???✨

 

Edited November 20, 2018 by Chris White

[Chris White]

? Dreambook-Entry 64 ?

Day 3:

“Today is Day 3 and it’s really intense. So far I found this sleeping spot in a public park, However, sleep is bad. One eye and one ear is always open, taking care of my surroundings. What stuns me is, with how many primal fears over the last few days I already came in contact with. There is the fear of separation, the fear of humiliation & shame, there is the fear of mutilation, the fear of loosing parts of my body, of loosing my boundaries, of being overwhelmed, of loosing control, the fear of shattering my constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness and even the fear of ceasing to exist, of death. And yet deep down inside of me, I also feel these fears are illusions. They are boundaries I gave myself once. And when I was contemplating about that, a quiet voice inside of me told me that underneath these shallow fears, I am infinite. An infinite being beyond any limitations. And when I had this moment today I felt pure happiness. I hope this realization will help me to let go of this constant alert state a bit and ease into the experience more. I’ll keep you posted.“

——————————————————————
You may wonder: How can he be online, take pictures and share this with us, when he’s homeless?

I wanted to make this month as real as possible, so during this month I also locked my smartphone away and a friend visited me from time to time to take the pictures you can see now and in the days coming. For me this was the realest, most authentic way of doing this challenge. But I will still take you with me on that journey. Through my daily Dreambook journal Entries, I will let you be part of my experience and my thoughts during that really tough challenge. Stay tuned. ??✨

[Charlotte]

@Chris White Nice one for updating. Love reading your journey

[now is forever]

@Chris White it was insanely cold yesterday. how are you managing in that outfit?

oh i see it‘s a postscript.

it‘s really hard at the moment - i give some money, asked every second day since a week, for people saying they need it for shelter, because it’s so cold already, and it just started.

Edited November 20, 2018 by now is forever

[Rilles]

This is healthy stage Green!! I love it

[Chris White]

On 20.11.2018 at 8:54 PM, Theta said:

@Chris White  when did you do this challenge?

and may I ask in which city of Germany?

 

I did it exactly 3 months ago in the German City, Freiburg. It was still warm back then

I know many people see this challenge very controversial. They say I am faking it, because I was going back to „normal“ afterwards and so subconsciously I will always know that I am not truly homeless, that there is another, ‘better’ life waiting for me. That’s why I can never feel the desperation & hopelessness that people feel in this situation. I also picked the warm summer and not the cold nights of the winter.
And I agree with all of that. You’re right, it’s basically just a controlled social experiment. Not more but also not less. And that’s for me the important point. I believe it’s still the closest I can get to experiencing what it means to have nothing in a setting of a course.

My intention is also far from ridiculing homeless people or taking resources away from them. The opposite is the case. My intention is actually to even try to be selfless in a difficult situation like that. To help other homeless even though I suffer myself. And thats what makes this challenge so special for me. These harsh conditions will be a brutally honest assessment of where I am on the path. I believe when you take away peoples comfort zone, all their daily distractions & even their basic needs like food & shelter they have nothing left to hide who they really are...

Success on the outside means nothing unless you also have success within. =)

 

[Chris White]

? Dreambook-Entry 65 ?

Day 5: “Today I begged for the first time. I decided to beg for one hour and it was probably one of the hardest hours of my life. I didn't do it for the money. I make my money from collecting cans & bottles but I did it for the experience to see how it feels like and what it makes with me. And to be honest, I counted the seconds for it to end and I am still amazed by how down pulling and negative the whole experience was.

The shame and negative Energy when people look down on you and even worse, when they just ignore you, like you’re not a human being, like you don't belong to them and to society is really hard to bear. Luckily I have a very strong, positive psyche. But a lot of homeless people don't... 

And that's when I painfully realized: We always think that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. But the poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty!

I believe it’s because we judge and have all these prejudices. People who are homeless are not social inadequates. They are first of all people without homes. Yet many people accused me: "I bet you'll buy alcohol later", "I don't support your drugs", "Scum! Go find some work!" And yes in Germany it's not that hard to find some form of work, but who are we to judge by just walking past someone? By not knowing any sort of background information?“

 

[now is forever]

@Chris White maybe you find this interesting - just as a connection. maybe you want to do something with your material. or engage further. don’t know. berlin has a new homeless newspaper - it’s really good!

https://www.karuna-kompass.de/sommer-2017/spar-dir-dein-mitleid

well your project, too.

Edited November 23, 2018 by now is forever

[Chris White]

On 22.11.2018 at 7:09 PM, now is forever said:

@Chris White maybe you find this interesting - just as a connection. maybe you want to do something with your material. or engage further. don’t know. berlin has a new homeless newspaper - it’s really good!

https://www.karuna-kompass.de/sommer-2017/spar-dir-dein-mitleid

well your project, too.

thanks for the info. I'll have a look =)

 

? Dreambook-Entry 66 ?

Day 6: “Yesterday morning I found this new sleeping spot. It’s an emergency staircase of an industrial building. I like it here and when the weather is good I even have a great view over the city.

However, yesterday after begging I felt really isolated. I haven’t had a shower in 5 days now and to make matters worse during my late evening walk of collecting cans and bottles I accidentally poured some beer on my clothes. I felt so dirty and painfully realized how fast it can go. After only 5 days and not drinking any alcohol. I already smelled like an unkempt, alcoholic homeless. I sat down and realized that this smell and my own disgust & shame will only lower my vibration and eventually intensify my isolation.

Suddenly the word Korwa came to my mind. One of my Tibetan monks always told me about it. Korwa is the self-perpetuating circle of trouble. – It’s the Downward Spiral. And it is so essential to avoid this scarcity state of mind at all costs. Of course sometimes you have to back down/adjust, but never think cheap, never loose creativity, never loose a generous outlook. So before I went to sleep I made a commitment with myself. I woke up at 5:30 today to do my morning routine.

I meditated half an hour, I did my positive affirmations, I did some Qigong exercises. Then I went to the public library and did a quick but thorough wash at the washing basin. After that I felt amazing.

It was like an energetic cleanse and it made me realize what a powerful test this challenge is for me. After only 5 days, this challenge is a real examination of my inner development and self-mastery. It reveals and will continue to reveal how conditioned I still am, how much I am still a slave of money & consumerism, how strong my own Ego still is. But it also reveals and will continue to reveal how much I learned during the last 10 challenges. How much I’ve grown, how much I already freed myself, how strong my willpower and self-discipline has become. How much everything that I learned so far, like Meditation, Qi gong, Yoga, Breathwork, Affirmations, Visualizations, Beliefs… will help me to endure these harsh conditions. And for that I’m incredibly grateful. Today is a beautiful day. Today is day 6.“

[Chris White]

? Dreambook-Entry 67 ?

Day 8: “After my bad begging experience on day 5, I made the commitment that from now on I will only beg for other homeless people in need & that I won't keep a single penny for myself! I thought how I could do this and I came up with fasting.

I started fasting yesterday because I am a huge fan of Gandhis practices. Fasting as a homeless seems to be totally counterintuitive but in fact as a homeless it is even more beneficial!

Why? First of all it's a shift in perspective. Most homeless peoples day, including my own first few days constantly revolves around thinking about getting enough food. You are a big victim of your circumstances. When you start to fast this completely changes. You voluntarily decided to fast and to make this commitment. So you're not a victim anymore, in fact you're far from that. You are now in control because you chose to. And this being in charge of your life is crucial. It gives you the feeling of I can change something here. And it also enables you to focus a lot of your daily Energy on other things than the constant hustle for food. Secondly most homeless people are malnourished and obese. Yes you heard right - obese. Many people say: "That person can't struggle, they're fat!" I actually did the same, but it's ignorance. The truth is calories aren't expensive, nutritious food is. And so homeless peoples diet is filled with far too many empty calories. Together with very irregular eating patterns homeless peoples bodies go into scarcity mode and store fat. Most homeless people I've met eat loads of things like potatoe chips, mac donalds, white bread & peanut butter. Complimented is this diet with many softdrinks because shockingly they are often cheaper than water. Fasting helps here as well, because you can either spend more money on one nutritous fasting meal which you eat always at the same time everyday or you can save some money for some highly nourishing food after you break the fast. Let’s see how it goes“ 

[Chris White]

? Dreambook-Entry 68 ?

Day 10:

“I am very well aware that this is the first challenge, where I face a serious possibility of „failure“ There is a fair chance that I find out: I can’t take it, that I need to stop this homeless experiment. But even If I can’t bear it, even if I have to quit after 10, 12 or 14 days only, I would be okay with it. At least I know then, where I stand and what I still need to learn and I also think thats already more than most privileged people would ever do.“ - A Diary entry from day 10.

[sarapr]

@Chris White wow. Thanks so much for sharing this