High Consciousness Turn Off

[Shadowraix]

On 11/18/2018 at 8:59 PM, aurum said:

Otherwise it's basically irrelevant in terms of attraction. Are you suddenly going to be attracted to a girl just because she said she's a vegan? No, you're looking for a slim body, ass and titties.

Attraction isn't that simple from my experience.

I've met girls and initially found them unattractive and through getting to know them I actually start finding their physical features attractive. Its like connection building can reprogram your attraction to them.

Edited November 20, 2018 by Shadowraix

[aurum]

2 hours ago, Shadowraix said:

Attraction isn't that simple from my experience.

I've met girls and initially found them unattractive and through getting to know them I actually start finding their physical features attractive. Its like connection building can reprogram your attraction to them.

Agreed, it’s just a general point.

[MM1988]

I wonder this for a long time. It doesnt matter if the girl is white trash or if she is high educated.

ALL GIRLS WANT THAT CAVEMAN SHIT

You have to be sexist, into masculine sports, drinking, fighting, be hyper agressive and take no shit from anybody. You would think that would not fit with intelligent girls but they go crazy for it.

If you are not that kind of guy or if you are even sensitive you are out of luck, you will either stay single or fake this shit (and work against your integrity) for the rest of your life. 

 

There comes a point where you just have to accept who you are and if that means you can not have relationships or sex you will have to bite that bullet. You have to get real and align yourself with reality. This is how evolution works in this reality and weak man simply get sorted out. 

If you born with one leg you cant spent your life dwellling over not playing in the NBA.

Edited November 20, 2018 by MM1988

[Emerald]

42 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

I wonder this for a long time. It doesnt matter if the girl is white trash or if she is high educated.

ALL GIRLS WANT THAT CAVEMAN SHIT

You have to be sexist, into masculine sports, drinking, fighting, be hyper agressive and take no shit from anybody. You would think that would not fit with intelligent girls but they go crazy for it.

If you are not that kind of guy or if you are even sensitive you are out of luck, you will either stay single or fake this shit (and work against your integrity) for the rest of your life. 

 

There comes a point where you just have to accept who you are and if that means you can not have relationships or sex you will have to bite that bullet. You have to get real and align yourself with reality. This is how evolution works in this reality and weak man simply get sorted out. 

If you born with one leg you cant spent your life dwellling over not playing in the NBA.

None of this is true... and you know it. It's just catastrophizing. 

[Lynnel]

@Emerald  Serious question, do you actually find true that women are attracted to on a subconscious level to social status ? Like do you find all the bio-evolution type theories (basically what was attractive as a caveman / useful for survival is still attractive today) about attraction  to be true nowadays ?

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, Lynnel said:

@Emerald  Serious question, do you actually find true that women are attracted to on a subconscious level to social status ? Like do you find all the bio-evolution type theories (basically what was attractive as a caveman / useful for survival is still attractive today) about attraction  to be true nowadays ?

Social status is definitely an "ingredient" that's naturally highly sought after. But social status by itself will only attract women who are looking for a free ride.

Also, the main thing that women care about is context. So, it can be different for different women.

For example, as a teenager, I was turned off by guys who were from wealthier backgrounds because I interpreted it as him never having to work for anything having mommy and daddy giving everything to him and not having the same experiences that I had as a working class person. So, being from a wealthy family meant that the guy wouldn't be able to give me the experience I wanted because of the bourgeois context of his life and his lack of grit. I wanted a more worldly guy who lived an edgier life that was interested and filled with working class values, a disregard for social status climbing, rebellion, and a stoner life-style. That's the kind of life I wanted to live, so I was interested in guys who already had that life. 

As a young adult, however, I had had enough of the drama of the previous lifestyle. So, I began to value financial success, stability, and social status in myself. To me, it was a signifier of my own ability to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I wanted to be and feel like an adult most of all. So, I began to be attracted to older men who were already settled with a stable career, as this is what I aspired toward. I desired the context, and men who had created that context for themselves. So, I found myself as a twenty year old getting attracted to mostly settled down guys in their 30s who had already developed a mature adult lifestyle. But this wasn't a decision I made. I just began to project attraction onto men like this. This is when I met my husband.  

Currently, I am almost thirty myself, and happily married. But I suspect if I were to find myself dating now that I'd be looking for something completely different than social status which was so important to me back then. I would definitely consider someone's career and finances before I got with them because that would have real consequences on my life long-term. But I'm no longer enamored by the idea of joining a man in his pre-established adult life-style and trying to climb in social hierarchies. I have other desires now beyond being an adult, now that I'm actually comfortably established in my own adulthood. So, I would probably be looking more for a guy who I could live an easy-going life with, who generally shared by values, disposition, and could join me where I'm at. But I still probably wouldn't date him if he didn't have career-goals and passions that are conferable in scale to my own, mostly for practical reasons of congruency.

So, understand that for a lot of women who are looking to settle into a relationship with a man, they will be highly attuned to your ability to make a living and have respect within the community, as this will have direct consequences on their lives. Plus, this is what most people value in general. So, you will find that most women want to be with a guy who lives a stable lifestyle. And she will see a lack of social status and/or money as a potential red flag that the man doesn't live the lifestyle that she would like to live. So, this will be a major concern for most women.

Plus, a man who is hard-working and successful likely possesses certain virtues that has brought him to that state. So, this is genuinely very admirable, and thus attractive. It makes a woman feel like she is stable and will be supported by that guy. So, there is definitely something incredibly sexy about that. But the sexiness isn't about he social status or success on it's own. It's sexy because he possessed the grit and intelligence to make something happen. 

So, for many women, social status is a very attractive ingredient because of what it implies about the man's virtues and the lifestyle he lives that she wants to join him in. But also, social status is only a deal-maker for women who are looking for a free ride or who feel unable to support themselves. Social status on its own doesn't make an attraction. But if there is a lack of status there, and a woman wants to live a stable middle class lifestyle, then it could be a deal-breaker if a guy doesn't have that.

 

[Shadowraix]

15 hours ago, MM1988 said:

I wonder this for a long time. It doesnt matter if the girl is white trash or if she is high educated.

ALL GIRLS WANT THAT CAVEMAN SHIT

You have to be sexist, into masculine sports, drinking, fighting, be hyper agressive and take no shit from anybody. You would think that would not fit with intelligent girls but they go crazy for it.

If you are not that kind of guy or if you are even sensitive you are out of luck, you will either stay single or fake this shit (and work against your integrity) for the rest of your life. 

 

There comes a point where you just have to accept who you are and if that means you can not have relationships or sex you will have to bite that bullet. You have to get real and align yourself with reality. This is how evolution works in this reality and weak man simply get sorted out. 

If you born with one leg you cant spent your life dwellling over not playing in the NBA.

Seems to be more of a personal development problem than any sex/gender issue.

[pluto]

You have to be the light that shines not the other way around. Be direct, be genuine and be yourself. If you have one too many thoughts interfering with the process then find your meditation art-form and master it until you become a master then seed humanity with your light

[brugluiz]

On 19/11/2018 at 7:58 PM, thehero said:

@brugluiz 

Dude, I don't know man. There's so many conflicting opinions. 

First, it's just not working. If I am authentic to girls they're not attracted to me. I have this one friend that's a girl, and I asked her for advice on girls (just as a fun talking point). Later she mentioned she's not attracted to guys who need advice talking to girls (she was talking about someone else, not referring to me). 

Leo says be authentic but it doesn't get me any girls. I have tried to talk to girls authentically about topics I find mutual on Tinder but so many of them are just not interested?

Third, I don't want to manipulate or trick any girls. It's not even fulfilling at all. All I want is deep authentic relationships, but being authentic hasn't been working so far.

Fourth, I believe that if you have wounds, dating someone is not a wise idea. You need some level of development. I know this because if I get into a relationship with wounds, I will just wreck havoc and do dumb shit. 

Furthering my point, read this thread: 

 

I just realized my results have also gone to shit as I start to be authentic. But, it's honestly all I care about. I don't care about attracting the girl at the cost of my authenticity

I think I'm starting to generate a better belief system. But, I am open to all perspectives. 

 

As another talking point, I think people talking about their progression into trying to learn something is very important. It helps me to see where I am in a journey. 

Man, a real problem with Spiral Dynamics is that it makes guys too judgy. Guys are judging everyone.

Wake up, man! Of course you need to have mental and emotional stability before getting into a relationship, but you need to be good with women in general to pick up the number one. It's a process. While you meet new women, you heal your wounds. It's not a mechanical process where you have to do one thing at first and then the other and the other.

Honestly, I think it's weird a guy who doesn't want to have sex. We're still fucking human beings. You may call me an Orange or whatever, but what you call authenticity is real authenticity? Aren't you judging girls? Do you always tell the truth? Listening to someone telling the truth is like crack, dude! Girls really get addicted to it. If you were being authentic, you would be banging the hottest girl you find. I don't mean just her beauty, but also her personality.

Girls can sense manipulation from long distances (I know because I get in problem when I feel I'm trying to manipulate girls). So, I'll ask you again: are you really trying to be authentic or are you trying to manipulate girls with your agenda?

[thehero]

@brugluiz good point 

You're right. I still want sex, but it's been overshadowed by other desires - my need for a relationship 

I notice that I'm just spewing a bunch of victim mentality. I'll go out and game again and heal - side by side. 

Edited November 23, 2018 by thehero

[Lynnel]

@Emerald  Thanks ! I get a feeling nonetheless that those are your rationalizations/ thoughts after the fact - how you explain the way you felt after the fact but maybe not why you felt that way in the first place in the moment.

But since beliefs also dictate emotions to some extent well it's a never ending loop. Thanks again for clarifying  

@brugluiz

What I strongly disagree about this whole "authenticity" topic is that even aside the fact that social interaction are inherently manipulative - well just being authentic doesn't cut it. It's like going to a job interview and saying well I'm just authentic who cares about the diploma ? Yes embodying green masculinity is important. But having value is as important as having a cool personality. If you authenticity works it means it's seen as a huge form of value and you have other qualities such as charisma that can work as honest signals. Then it works. But you can't just discard value as if it never existed

[Emerald]

34 minutes ago, Lynnel said:

@Emerald  Thanks ! I get a feeling nonetheless that those are your rationalizations/ thoughts after the fact - how you explain the way you felt after the fact but maybe not why you felt that way in the first place in the moment.

But since beliefs also dictate emotions to some extent well it's a never ending loop. Thanks again for clarifying  

You're welcome. I've gotten a lot of attractions over the course of my life. And I can tell you that it's just me putting my observations into words. So, it isn't a rationalization after the fact. It's a pattern that I've directly observed in myself many times from the age of three all the way up to present day.  

That would be like me saying... "you don't really get attracted to a woman's physical appearance, that's just your rationalization after the fact." And you'd be like, "No. I've witnessed myself do this tons of times. It's not a rationalization. It's an observation."

[ZZZZ]

The first girl I thought to bring up non-duality etc. with in person was one I dated for about a month and a half. She wasn't very bright, and she was pretty solidly stage blue in retrospect. It was like talking to a brick wall... I actually don't think I've been more incompatible with anyone I've dated. She had a great body though