High Consciousness Turn Off

[SFRL]

Have any of you guys had this experience? 

When you want to discuss high consciousness topics with women they lose interest. 

Like a woman appears to be into stuff like vegetarian eating, or meditation, or psychology or something. 

And then you show her some Actualized.org videos or something. 

Or she says she is vegan and you say yeah I experiment with vegetarian eating. 

And then it's like they judge you. Or they lose attraction because they don't perceive you as masculine anymore. (I don't have a better explanation). 

 

I mean you would think that they would like that. But I have noticed several times it's more effective to act like a caveman. 

Edited November 19, 2018 by SFRL

[aurum]

@SFRL

It's a turn off if you're qualifying yourself by saying those things. Because now you're seeking her approval.

Otherwise it's basically irrelevant in terms of attraction. Are you suddenly going to be attracted to a girl just because she said she's a vegan? No, you're looking for a slim body, ass and titties.

In the same way, a girl isn't suddenly going to be attracted just because you said you do meditation. Sub-communications, sub-communications, sub-communications.

[universe]

24 minutes ago, SFRL said:

I mean you would think that they would like that.

No, I would not think that.

- At most they would maybe say "But Leo..." and thats it. Ego doesnt like to die. Boys & girls alike.

- Leos teaching style is very rational and leans more toward the masculine. See what others wrote in this thread for more:

 

[SFRL]

44 minutes ago, aurum said:

@SFRL

It's a turn off if you're qualifying yourself by saying those things. Because now you're seeking her approval.

Otherwise it's basically irrelevant in terms of attraction. Are you suddenly going to be attracted to a girl just because she said she's a vegan? No, you're looking for a slim body, ass and titties.

In the same way, a girl isn't suddenly going to be attracted just because you said you do meditation. Sub-communications, sub-communications, sub-communications.

Yeah I guess it's just a variety on the nice guy syndrome. 

Sometimes it's tempting to think let me try to build a 'real' connection based on commen and intellectual values. 

And that shit just never works. 

[aurum]

19 minutes ago, SFRL said:

Yeah I guess it's just a variety on the nice guy syndrome. 

Sometimes it's tempting to think let me try to build a 'real' connection based on commen and intellectual values. 

And that shit just never works. 

It is tempting but you’re not going to logic your way into a girl’s pants.

Commonalities actually do work though, I purposefully build commonalities all the time. 

It’s just that commonalities don’t equal attraction. 

And the commonalities don’t have to be deep. That’s another trap. I’ll take “Omg we almost have the same birthday!!!” over just about anything else.

[SFRL]

8 minutes ago, aurum said:

And the commonalities don’t have to be deep. That’s another trap. I’ll take “Omg we almost have the same birthday!!!” over just about anything else.

Lol that may actually work because they are into that star sign stuff anyways. 

I don't consciously use commonalities. I might go experience with that. 

I usually polarize to the extreme as an attraction mechanism.  

 

Edited November 19, 2018 by SFRL

[brugluiz]

I had this experience last week. I talked about meditation and the girl: "uh!". They really don't care if you're enlightened or if you meditate 2 hours a day. If you don't make them feel emotions, you won't enter into their pants. Harsh truth and it can be used for everything in life. I found a new job just when I was feeling happy and alive. When I was down and depressed, I was really miserable and no doors would open. The same happens with girls. High-energy equals attraction.

[Eric Tarpall]

I think they want to feel like they are better than you. They have this fantasy in their minds that males are dumb. Because that's how males are portrayed on tv. So if you talk about high consciousness things you shatter that fantasy and it makes them uncomfortable. 

[Emerald]

Most people will react that way to you if you bring up these types of topics, as they see no value in it. Their eyes will just gloss over most of the time. Or they'll get uncomfortable because they're afraid they can't keep up with someone who's into dense topics and that they'll be judged. 

But to tell you the truth, as a woman who is genuinely interested in these types of topics, I don't care much whether the guy I'm into is interested in them. I really only care about how his personality and mannerisms are and how that mixes together with his looks and lifestyle. Common interests are nice, but they don't make an attraction. So, if a woman doesn't share those common interests, it especially isn't going to make an attraction. She'll just react like most people... eyes glossing over, wondering if you're crazy, and/or intimidation by the dense nature of the topics.  

So, in the immortal words of Shania Twain... "That don't impress me much." But seriously, listen to that song, and it pretty much gives you an insight into how women DON'T get attracted to guys, and how any individual positive quality doesn't really make a dent. 

That said, he has to be able to carry on a conversation with me. That's a must. I have to be able to have deep conversations where I feel like we're on the same wavelength, otherwise it would be a major damper in the relationship. 

But if a guy showed me he was interested in personal development, non-duality, etc., I would be like, "Oh hey. Me too." And I would log that in my mind like, "That's cool." But it's not a turn-on. I know a ton of guys who are into this stuff, and I'm not attracted to any of them. It's just kind of like, "Oh cool. We probably share some commonalities." But it doesn't spark any interest beyond platonic interest... the heart and libido want other things. 

 

[Helios]

Dude they just want to have fun.

[thehero]

@Emerald

What's the ideal way of going about an ideal relationship as a male? I'm thinking of going MGTOW and just focusing on me. If I can't currently attract girls then I think I will just work on me until one day girls just become attracted to me because I have become developed. I recall you once wrote that girls are looking for a "specific" guy. Leo also said that girls love authenticity and presence. 

So. 

The best situation is that I'm just going to go so deep into self-love and finding my own path and eventually a girl will come along. And if she does come along, I won't even allow it because I want to focus full on my independence until I'm ready. 

Edited November 19, 2018 by thehero

[brugluiz]

15 minutes ago, thehero said:

@Emerald

What's the ideal way of going about an ideal relationship as a male? I'm thinking of going MGTOW and just focusing on me. If I can't currently attract girls then I think I will just work on me until one day girls just become attracted to me because I have become developed. I recall you once wrote that girls are looking for a "specific" guy. Leo also said that girls love authenticity and presence. 

So. 

The best situation is that I'm just going to go so deep into self-love and finding my own path and eventually a girl will come along. And if she does come along, I won't even allow it because I want to focus full on my independence until I'm ready. 

Bad strategy, mate. If you want to attract girls, you can do it right now, no matter what you have. Getting good with girls can work as an emotional leverage to other stuff in life as well.

[thehero]

@brugluiz 

Dude, I don't know man. There's so many conflicting opinions. 

First, it's just not working. If I am authentic to girls they're not attracted to me. I have this one friend that's a girl, and I asked her for advice on girls (just as a fun talking point). Later she mentioned she's not attracted to guys who need advice talking to girls (she was talking about someone else, not referring to me). 

Leo says be authentic but it doesn't get me any girls. I have tried to talk to girls authentically about topics I find mutual on Tinder but so many of them are just not interested?

Third, I don't want to manipulate or trick any girls. It's not even fulfilling at all. All I want is deep authentic relationships, but being authentic hasn't been working so far.

Fourth, I believe that if you have wounds, dating someone is not a wise idea. You need some level of development. I know this because if I get into a relationship with wounds, I will just wreck havoc and do dumb shit. 

Furthering my point, read this thread: 

 

I just realized my results have also gone to shit as I start to be authentic. But, it's honestly all I care about. I don't care about attracting the girl at the cost of my authenticity

I think I'm starting to generate a better belief system. But, I am open to all perspectives. 

 

As another talking point, I think people talking about their progression into trying to learn something is very important. It helps me to see where I am in a journey. 

Edited November 19, 2018 by thehero

[Annoynymous]

9 hours ago, Emerald said:

Most people will react that way to you if you bring up these types of topics, as they see no value in it. Their eyes will just gloss over most of the time. Or they'll get uncomfortable because they're afraid they can't keep up with someone who's into dense topics and that they'll be judged. 

But to tell you the truth, as a woman who is genuinely interested in these types of topics, I don't care much whether the guy I'm into is interested in them. I really only care about how his personality and mannerisms are and how that mixes together with his looks and lifestyle. Common interests are nice, but they don't make an attraction. So, if a woman doesn't share those common interests, it especially isn't going to make an attraction. She'll just react like most people... eyes glossing over, wondering if you're crazy, and/or intimidation by the dense nature of the topics.  

So, in the immortal words of Shania Twain... "That don't impress me much." But seriously, listen to that song, and it pretty much gives you an insight into how women DON'T get attracted to guys, and how any individual positive quality doesn't really make a dent. 

That said, he has to be able to carry on a conversation with me. That's a must. I have to be able to have deep conversations where I feel like we're on the same wavelength, otherwise it would be a major damper in the relationship. 

But if a guy showed me he was interested in personal development, non-duality, etc., I would be like, "Oh hey. Me too." And I would log that in my mind like, "That's cool." But it's not a turn-on. I know a ton of guys who are into this stuff, and I'm not attracted to any of them. It's just kind of like, "Oh cool. We probably share some commonalities." But it doesn't spark any interest beyond platonic interest... the heart and libido want other things. 

 

So according to you, what girls needed most in order to get attracted?

[Emerald]

23 minutes ago, Annoynymous said:

So according to you, what girls needed most in order to get attracted?

That's the tricky part about it. It's not about one particular "ingredient" that a man has that makes a girl attracted. It's about how the unique mixture of ingredients come together to create a unique "dish" and how it suits a particular woman's "palette." 

So, two men with very similar qualities would have two totally different reactions with a given woman. 

That said, there are ways to improve the "ingredients" of your being to make them have more appeal to more women. So, it isn't a 100% subjective thing. You can max out your good qualities.

But there is no one trait that female attraction hinges upon. It's always about the mix of traits together as a whole that consists of more than the sum of its parts. And then, how that unique vibe that a man has interacts with an individual woman's emotions.

So, it just doesn't really work like male attraction, that's objective, relatively non-selective, and largely based on having particular traits. Female attraction is a lot more subjective and idiosyncratic with emotions and intuition being the main qualifier for attraction. And it's very selective, despite the fact that many women could become attracted to the most average guy in everyone else's book. So, it's picky... but not picky by standards. It's picky by particularity. It has to be that particular guy (or perhaps one of a few guys). 

So, it's a matter, for men, of maxing out their "ingredients" that have mass appeal and casting the net wide enough to find the women that are attracted to them particularly.

So, I suppose the best thing to do is to get to know what type of woman tends to be the most attracted to guys that are kind of like you, and spending a lot of time around them. 

But there are never any guarantees because of the subjectivity of the whole thing. I personally can't even predict who I'll be attracted to before I get attracted to them. It's always a surprise when the feelings come up for a particular guy. 

So, the main takeaway here is that women experience attraction in a very multi-faceted way that is very hard to pin down objectively or logically. 

[Annoynymous]

@Emerald So you are saying that it will be hard to go and attract a particular woman and instead of that, i should try for net average number of women and hope any particular of them will get attracted to me?

[universe]

@Emerald Very insightful, especially the part about emotions and intuition!

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

@Emerald So you are saying that it will be hard to go and attract a particular woman and instead of that, i should try for net average number of women and hope any particular of them will get attracted to me?

That's the most sure-fire way to find someone as a guy. 

Now, when it comes to compatibility, that's another topic. You'll have to vet through the women that get attracted to see if you'll be compatible.

But the most important thing is to be social and meet a lot of women (and men too as an extension of the purely social aspect of meeting people). And develop the ability to socialize with anyone. Then, learn some basic techniques for flirting and attracting women in general. And eventually someone will be interested. She may not show it though. Many women tend to be very closed-lipped about their attractions.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, universe said:

@Emerald Very insightful, especially the part about emotions and intuition!

Thank you.  

[Annoynymous]

@Emerald its always a pleasure to know about your insights. i find it deep and profound

i have more questions. How to know if a women attracted to me? some says women don't always tell what they think. is it true?

if a women gets attracted to me and after that if i find that we are not compatible enough, it tends to frustrates me and i become emotional mess. can you share some of your insights about compatibility?