Breakthrough as a victim

[Gladius]

I have been playing victim for most of my live. I have been trying to fight it in many ways: working out, meditation, self-inquiry, self-help, therapy, ayahuasca, psilocibina... All of that, it does help but still, I eventually kept going back to my negative thinking pattern.

A few days ago, I was observing one of this "negative rollercoaster" going on in my mind and the sentence came up: I suddenly told myself: 

 

"They'd love to see you this way".

 

By they meaning the people I blame for all my troubles, my "enemies". I imagined "they" would enjoy how I'm beating myself up, and that vision automatically changed my mindset, into being aware. So my suggestion is you try to tell this to yourself: "He / She / They would love to see you this way".

Now some people might say that mantra is bringing more "hate" and "blame" into the equation. But for me, it doesn't come from that position. In my case, this mantra just makes me raise my consciousness level and be more focused, loving and positive. 

I know these kinds of things don't work the same for everyone. Even if it's too soon and the "effect" of this breakthrough somehow fades, I felt such a powerful inner change I wanted to share here. This is probably result of many years following Leo, and maybe it can help someone with similar problems. 

[Shin]

Did you try to simply watch the thoughts patterns without judging them for an extended period of time (several months) ?

(I'm not taunting you, I'm really asking)

[Gladius]

@Shin Yes, I did try, but I ended back at the same dark place eventually. I know you're talking about the "right thing to do", but that's maybe too advanced level for me at this stage. The technique I exposed might be for beginners but for the time being it floats the boat. For sure I'll keep watching.

[Shin]

31 minutes ago, Gladius said:

@Shin Yes, I did try, but I ended back at the same dark place eventually. I know you're talking about the "right thing to do", but that's maybe too advanced level for me at this stage. The technique I exposed might be for beginners but for the time being it floats the boat. For sure I'll keep watching.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do, just that it worked for me.

You could also ask yourself how being a victim actually help you:

• How much suffering does it brings
• How much time do you lose thinking negatively
• How it doesn't help and even make suffer other people
• etc

[Nahm]

On 11/18/2018 at 3:05 PM, Gladius said:

raise my consciousness level and be more focused, loving and positive.

No one has ever said it better. ❤️??