Becoming A Monk.

[FluffyCloudGalaxy]

Hi everyone,

Wasn't planning on making an entry but I had to ask LEO for more videos. So I thought I might as well make an entry to say thanks but also dip my toes into community. (my first forum)

I don't really get this journal thing ... but I thought Id introduce myself to see if I'd meet like-minded/wiser minds. 

But first a thanks to Leo. I understand that its a lot of work and hard at times, but I think your job/career/business (whatever its called) is amazing...that you learn amazing wisdom then translate  it, making it digestible and practical for myself and the community you have brought together. This is almost indescribably awesome.  You have helped me to question my own lifestyle and livelihood. Its a great way to earn a living but more importantly its improving the world by improving yourself!!HAHAHAHA 

HAHAHAHA Im so glad you moved into enlightenment from your earlier stuff like one fav of mine - How To Make A Girl Squirt - Give Your Girl An Explosive Orgasm HAHAHAAHA

Anyways - About me

I am of Thai and Scottish decent. I put this first because while some might think it has little effect on your identity, wrong.  It made a difference to the young years I was receiving social conditioning. This suck because the people I was around in my childhood believed in segregation   The populous doesn't have the astronaut view the enlightened eye. From up there in space you don't see  boarders....there is only the tiny blue marble called Earth. One planet to a Star, One star to the Galaxy and One Galaxy to a neighborhood of Friendly Majestic Subliminal Beautiful Loving GALAXIES  !!!!!      The Blue Marble dancing with an infinite  forest of galaxy fireflies.   

Anyways instead the populous sees segregation. Race, Gender, Class, Age, Countries, Cultures, Values. Instead of seeing 1 we see many, we see other. We see Us and Them. 

 This makes life confusing for a mixed race child. But I wont get to personal just yet. 

I will just briefly go into the main events that would create the current ego I am right now on its journey to enlightenment.  

So I'm  mixed race and I was also the youngest child. 

I wont go into detail but there are many studies explaining that depending on what age order you are in relation to your siblings, it will  effects your personality and ego. 

 

The next section I will only be very brief as its very personal. But life was quite challenging during my child years.   
First I become a child of divorce 
Then I become a orphan

I only mention this because this is my journal in the community and it needs a background if its going to be sharing , progression, and and present challenges.
Anyways I will mention that these early life challenging did leave their scars. That still to this day I am still struggling to accept.  But also I am grateful, losing somethings makes you more appreciative of what you have. It also made me a early philosopher... I was made to questions like, the meaning of life and death. 

Anyways I then was adopted. I wont go in much detail here. 

But the main points is that I become a middle child of a new family.

This had many effects on my personality and ego.

Because I was once the youngest I had always been ferociously competitive

But because I become a middle child I gained peacemaking qualities

But I was also the oldest to many close younger brothers. Even though I was the middle child the multiple oldster ones where of a much higher age, not children so, they learnt around that much at the same time.

This made me then, also a oldest child. Giving my ego leader traits. But it also made me a self-centered, papered competitive, bossy, adult pleaser. Which also feels life is very painful and unfair. I was only 7 or 8 if I remember. when all this happened at once. 

However it did make become extremely grateful. I shouldn't have to remind anyone that if my childhood had happen in another country (Becoming a orphan)  or at a different time I wouldn't have been so fortunate to have been adopted. This feeling is indescribable that if I had to try, I would have too scoop a handful of rainbow too show you how lucky I feel.  

 

However I didn't feel grateful until many years after my childhood.  If anyone is going through the tradgy of losing the most important people in your lives, feel free to PM I send you compassion and understanding. 

Being a child I couldn't do enlightenment work HAHAHHA so I didn't deal with the events very well but Luckily for me my new amazing amazing family dealt with my bitter and tempered mood. And I slowly changed and got better.  

that is the end of chapter on my childhood.


I dont know when I will next up date this but it will be about how the ego has dealt with being mixed raced and growing up in different continents during crucial times in its development like multiple schools (7). 
How my depression, hatred and anger got channeled into competitive sports. And how this ego adopted sports as success, value and self worth.
Then how I snapped one leg in multiple times in different places as well as destroying soft tissue which required surgery, 14 months in crutches. This was when I was 18  and I am now 21 and am still doing exercises to making it 100%.
So if anyone has an injury feel free to PM if you have any questions. Especially about physio after physio as they dont guide you to make it 100% professional level. 

I will then talk about how this plummeted my ego and self worth. 

It snapped in college when I was 18 (8 months in crutches)  then when I was in the first year of university I had to go back and have surgery (6 months in crutches)   
This was  during the first year of university A time when it would been pleasurable to have self esteem and confidence. HELL thats asking to much! I would have been happy to just walk! HHAAHA After I could exercise again I went back too bold and strong, and because had only been using one leg for over a year there was a imbalance so i slipped a disk in my back.  This REALLY upset me, imagine a boy that was aiming for a sports scholarship. And now he could now only bearably walk at the age of 20 this was very challenging. And I felt like my dreams had been taken from me. 

 

During this time I had also made the mistake of choosing a degree that I dont enjoy. I wanted to get  go into PE and sports but believed I couldn't because  of my injury. SO I chose a course I had no passion for. Another hole I dug for myself is that I chose a university far from home. SO i was isolated from  friends and family. .... I didn't see it coming but this was going to be tough. 

Anyways long story short this was the second most painful time of my life. I become severity depressed, and I had also become a drug addict where I had a extreme bad trip. 

This long and painful year  lifted last year when I had a 6 month intern in Thailand.  ohhhh boyyy I am so grateful for my time then. 

Long story short, my leg has got better, In now play sports again, mma and YOGA!. (the Key to injury recovery - Great for after physiotherapy)
I am also 9 months free from drugs btw (Drugs did change the way I thought, But I wont talk about it hear). I am also vegetarian for health benefits (I am not trying to convert you haha :P)  During this time in Thailand, I saw new culture and values i didn't see when I was a kid, This also got me thinking differently and lastly I got back in touch with Buddhism. But because I grew up in Eastern and Western worlds I wasn't strictly religious I see religions as different jigsaw pieces of the same puzzle. I also had a retaliation that I wanted to make the most of life so I would start a business during me degree. All in all my confidence begin to blossom. 

As a result when I got back to uni I began starting a business. This resulted in pitching and afterwards being offered mentoring by my cities first billionaire.  This was A VERY EXCITING TIME FOR ME. My life had trampolined, and shot rocket up into space. My depression was being smothered in confidence to hide all my insurgencies, trying to over compensati. In Graves model of human needs and psyche evolution. I was very orange(Business Billionaire), and very green(suffering when I was a child and wanting to help others) I wanted to become a billionaire philanthropist  and save this burning planet (just look at human history). 

Anyways I said this all stopped, at the offer for mentoring by the billionaire everything changed, after I met the man once I didn't want to see him again. If I could have permission to brag....He did like me, thats why the busy man offered mentoring, because I had passion. However I didn't like the impression he gave me. I had high hopes, I though  this BILLIONAIRE would be Tony Stark!!!! RIGHT!? thats what the mainstream media tells me. He was a  philanthropist but not a cool one. Asked him for wisdom to get to know him, he told me that would make it, but I needed to have a philanthropist mask, to trick the press and protect swiss banks. NOW!! I know not all billionaires are like this. That isn't the point, this is about the effect it had on this Ego typing to you and its journey to enlightenment.  The man... and I assume many billionaires are greedy. I say many become a billionaire is not quite like a millionaire... its much more....why would you need so much HAHAHAH! thats when I got it. A Epiphany, mainstream success is not the truth to happiness. The man I met  was severely dysfunctional and narcotic. Smug to himself as he spoke pretending to good to get more money. I dont want my work ethic to end me in his position, it was worst then the poverty I experienced when I was a orphan or as a Thai child in my remote village. 

This man was not happy, he was bold, over weight, red shot eyes, and not fucking middle finger. If you know a billionaire that mactches this description, then you know my city and we should grap some lunch. 

I then new accepted the sleeping thought that I uncovered in Thailand when I reconnected with Buddhism. I dont want to be a entrepreneur business owners. I want to reach for enlightenment!. and this is my journey. 

first stop finish my dissertation on the graves model of evolution 

next month become a licences skydiver (which my university has offered me a scholarship to do!) 

Then take a gap year to work so I can pay for a whole year of YOGA! repair and strengthen all joints and make them all flexible for prolong periods of meditation poses. 

I am currently 21. 

So when I am 22 I enroll at a Buddhist temple and become a monk!

If you read this far, then send me a PM 

Kindest Regards 
Cowie 

 

P.S Message for LEO
Do you have disciples? Can I please become one?
I know you have said you are thinking of going to Japan and becoming a zen monk.
SO I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO MEET YOU IN PERSON BEFORE WE BECOME MONKS! PLEASE! 

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

Have you decided where and what kind of buddhist monk you will live as?