Self fulfilling prophecy?

[Annoynymous]

What is self fulfilling prophecy? How does it work?

[Annoynymous]

@K VIL I asked because often time i find myself in a position where i predict something negative about myself and more often they become true. I have some limiting belief about myself that i am not good enough, i don't deserve a girl to be my gf and so on. I don't know whether these are self fulfilling prophecies or not. If those are self fulfilling prophecies, how to break out of those?

 

[Annoynymous]

@K VIL I think these self fulfilling prophecies come in a repititive manner. I can almost caught myself 100 times a day thinking ' I am not good enough'.  This becomes hard to ignore and as a result, most of the time i become anxious sad and depressed.

Edited November 16, 2018 by Annoynymous

[Mezanti]

@Annoynymous Figure out a way to decrease neuroticism, ultimately what what it comes down to is that you're too high on trait neuroticism.

 

 

I'm sure this can help you better understand what's at the works, this character trait has been studied by psychologists all over the world.

your thoughts are ultimately a manifestation of your ego, but let's not get into that yet.

also your thoughts are kind of like a pointing finger, hinting at you the things that you yourself would like to have, and making you feel guilty and worthless for not having them.

If i were to give you some advice it would be something along the lines of.

1. develop hobbies

2. set goals/ (be it get a girlfriend, ace all your exams, create your own business, publish a work of art, read a specific book, build charisma,..........)

2.5.set your goals into practical action steps

3. create a daily routine in which you combine both your hobbies and your goals, (one hour study, then one hour play) use google calendar 

4.achieve results, and formulate a life purpose

5. Meditate

if you do all the above you will have some evidence to prove that you are indeed good enough.

developing stability and control over your own life, doing things you love as well as growing and generating results, will establish a sense of fulfillment, like nothing else. except for enlightenment of course.  ?

 

Now the part you don't wanna hear:?

but let's not forget, why do you want to be good enough?

what is it that you achieve from being good enough?

why do you wish to have value?

what is value? 

what you will eventually discover is that this is all ego, trying to identify everything around it, including itself, placing values on things, and is usually conflicted over the things it has awareness over. 

 

 

 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

Nice.  You’ve asked the same question I feel motivated to write about in my Journal tonight.  I’ll post my answer here when complete.  This is something I’m surprised Leo never made a video about directly.  The self-fulfilling prophesy is something you gotta be fully aware of in personal development work.

Edited November 17, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Annoynymous]

@Mezanti Thank you@Joseph Maynor I think he will in the future.

[Joseph Maynor]

A self-fulfilling prophesy is where you're expecting you might have a chance at failing at something and that doubt comes to actual fruition when you do fail.  Then we get to say you had a self-fulfilling prophesy in the sense that you believed you would fail and therefore you did fail.  But see, it's a little more complicated than that because you hoped you would succeed too.  I don't think it was your idea that you would fail that caused the self-fulfilling prophesy effect.  More likely, you got yourself in an unfamiliar situation where either you didn't do enough diligent pre-investigation or you're just gonna have to chalk it up to a learning experience, and if you aren't repeating mistakes learning experiences are actually healthy for your personal development.

Oftentimes what causes a self-fulfilling prophesy is when hope outweighs diligent pre-investigation.  You might glom onto one variable -- like hey that chick is hot or that job sounds like a lot of money.  Then you go chase that too good to be true result and have a self-fulfilling prophesy-like failure happen to you.  This is because you didn't really vet that thing to make sure it was consistent with how you actually are and what you actually prefer, you got lost in thought, lost in hope.  So, I don't think what causes self-fulfilling prophesies is clinging to thoughts alone.  The bad thoughts you experience are caused by the fact that you're involved in something that you didn't complete the self-checklist on.  You didn't do enough up front to honor your authentic selection process. 

Keep in mind that this is addressing just one side of a paradox.  On the one hand you should be going out there and making mistakes because that's the only way you can learn.  Just don't repeat mistakes.  What I'm gonna tell you how to do here is how to avoid the self-fulfilling prophesy effect from happening to you.  So, don't use this information to become some kind of person who thinks they're gonna fail less.  You want to fail more!  But when you fail you need to be learning too and getting smarter about how you engage things.  So, here's how to avoid self-fulfilling prophesies from happening to you.  Let's go through my checklist:

(1) BE 100% ASSERTIVE

Know what you're looking for in the situation and let people know how you feel when you don't feel like your expectations are being met.  Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may regarding that.

(2) BE 100% HONEST WITH YOURSELF

Know what you like and what you don't like.  You putting yourself in situations you know you don't like is foolish.  if you don't like something, note that in a journal.  That's something to keep in mind for next time.

(3) BE TRULY COMMITTED

Know why you're engaging with the situation down to the deepest level.  You should know what actual problem situation you're attempting to sustainably solve in your life by engaging with the situation.  Make sure the project or work is something you're not gonna dislike doing.

(4) KNOW FULLY WHAT YOU’RE WALKING INTO

This is common with dating and with jobs.  Some hot chick is interested in you or some hot job wants to hire you.  You get swept off your feet so to speak based on one variable.  But see, you don't know that girl and you don't know that job.  Try to get involved in situations where you know exactly what you're walking into.

(5) ENFORCE A POLICY OF NOT REPEATING MISTAKES

Keep a journal or notebook and actually note insights about life and lessons you're drawn from prior experiences.  Often a way to deal with very painful experiences is to make a list of what not to repeat next time.  Use these notes when you get involved in a similar situation in the future.  Try to live where you never repeat the same mistake twice.

//

The other thing too is you get what you expect to see in life (this is that self-fulfilling prophesy thing going on) — and this is the trippier thing, people will relate to you how you expect them to relate to you.  Once you get more confident and open people will treat you well because they can see that you expect them to treat you well.  You will give off a totally different energy to them.  People can feel it when you’re silently judging them in a negative manner and they will give you what you want from them.  But if you’re not judging them and they can see you have standards and mean well, people will treat you well by default.  I’ve confirmed this in my own life.  People do not like to be judged, and if they are judged they like to be judged admirably.  So, when people feel like you are judging them, they will give you what you expect from them.

This is why having an “I’m ugly and everybody hates me” attitude is one of the worst beliefs and energy you can transmit to others.  People will take you at your own assessment of yourself.  And they’ll give you what you want.  If you look like somebody who wants to get that kind of feedback from others, that’s what other people will give you!  It’s so important to understand this self-fulfilling prophesy dynamic. 

People are sensing that you want or expect something from them and they’re giving it to you.  They’re giving you what they see you expect from them.  I’m not saying this is the only dynamic at play, but it’s one dynamic that you can fix on your end.

Edited November 18, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Annoynymous]

@Joseph Maynor Thank you for sharing such valuable informations

[K VIL]

Ultimately dude you will be ok, I can tell.  

[Epiphany_Inspired]

A friend accused me of creating one of these a few months ago... At first I was almost appalled at the idea.... I thought I was doing the exact opposite ... But quite quickly I saw that my negative thinking was more than capable of manifesting itself in this way.... By taking control of our negative thought patterns, we can ensure that the only self-fulfilling prophecies we create are the ones that are serving us, rather than working against us