Everyone has a degree of Anxiety/Neuroticism. Tell us how you overcame ?

[Shan]

I believe Anxiety / Constant Anger/ Neuroticism (As mentioned in Big-Five Personality) / Turbulence (As mentioned in Myer's Brigg) is the main reason for people not forming habits, taking big risks and living a meaningful life. It is so subtle that none of you know this monkey is on our shoulders effecting each and every second of you life at a micro level.  It exists to atleast some degree and this level of flight / fight response activation is unneccessary in modern times. 

Does anybody have a story of High Anxiety which they were postively able to reduce to a  Zero-level.  How did you do it ?

---- The above is basically the question and TL;Dr. Below are details on how I come to this conclusion and other info if you want to read ---------

I just had an unusual therapy for Anxiety and Nerves. It some how turned my Anxiety or Flight/Fight response completely off.  It is as clear as if someone turned off a big fire alarm with lights and sounds. 

It felt like I was always playing a video game at a 'very hard' difficulty setting all my life and now its changed to an 'easy' setting. Or like I was carrying a 500 KG on my back while walking towards my life purpose but now it suddenly is off my back. I vividly remember thinking wow, is this how people without anxiety feel like everyday ?

My partner said I was so amazing to be with that evening. I also had amazing conversations with strangers and always had a smile ! I had no problem taking a freezing cold shower (shows risk tollerance)  and I could never do that before. I was just happy and bold.

The effect is wearing of just in a day but may be this is for me like being on a micro dose of MDMA (Never done it so I guess).

The point is  : I believe the greatest obstacle in life for most of us is being on the Anxiety scale. I'd like to place Anxiety on a scale of -10 to +10 (0 is not anxious and optimal;  +10 is clinical anxiety ; Minus values are super chilled people and -10 might die or have not evolved due to overly neggligent nature). 

On this scale I may be a +6 anxious. I suspect most of you may be around +3 or +4 anxious and you may not even know it.

If we all could get it to ZERO to -2. life will be beautiful. Anythinng lower could kill ambition. While the flight and fight response is important having that a zero to -2 setting is optimal in modern life. 

I think most great people who pulled of great feasts or massive achievers like an Elon Musk, Gates, Obama, Zuckerberg  are possibly at a ZERO or less in anxiety leve;l; making them to go for massive risks and habit forming .

I have read and tried sitting through anxiety (like Jordan Peterson says) and CBT therapy. But this is a physical condition at the body level and you can do only limited at the mind level. So I think treatment at body level is requured. 

[Wyze]

I think anxiety is a feeling that we learnt since childhood and it chases us as negative self talk. It may came from our over critical parents, or us somehow got into a dangerous situation or our fear of failure due to unquestioned and examined social conditioning.

When you were feeling that freedom, did it feel like you were a child again, and that you can try anything?

[lmfao]

@Shan I haven't reduced my very high anxiety to anything close to the ideal level but I feel it improving now. In the past I've had panic attacks where I hyperventilate for 30 mins straight and have had a few times where I frantically search the Internet on methods for suicide. The best thing I think you can do is mindful suffering. Suffering which is done mindfully is best done when you're meditating or something. Being mindful of suffering in your day to day life is hard unless you're consciousness is already high enough to try to be. 

Yesterday I was meditating for 1hr for example, and I was trying to maintain most of my posture. In my mine came up these thoughts "I want to escape I want to escape I want to escape I want to escape.... It hurts It hurts It hurts.." but through meditation you force both your conscious and subconscious mind to react differently to pain. There were times yesterday when my conscious mind was trying to be okay and accepting the pain, realising that a sensation in your consciousness is neither inherently good or bad. But despite this my subconscious mind was in overdrive, providing so much resistance. But throughout the session my resistance was dissolving as mindfulness increased. 

Meditation when done right is good for general happiness and anxiety. You're confronting your bodies fight or flight response "I want to escape I want to escape I want to escape" and are dissolving it. Your anxiety will also start to fade as you pay attention deeply to what this "I" that wants to escape is. The way I see it, you can conceptualise anxiety as an over the top reaction to some "negative" circumstance. And you want to rewire those reactions. 

[Hellspeed]

Grounding. 

[Psyche_92]

Grounding and sinking into the body to feel the energy ( anxiety ). It's not really anxiety. Anxiety is just a label. It's just intense energy.

[Shan]

12 hours ago, Wyze said:

When you were feeling that freedom, did it feel like you were a child again, and that you can try anything?

Yes, This is exactly how I felt @Wyze 

Thanks @lmfao From my experience I think in the near future they will find a simple solution for Anxiety, Until then what you suggest only seems to be the solution. Have you tried Ashwagandha, L-Theanie etc ?

@Psyche_92 Thanks for the amzing tip that anxiety is energy. Could you further explainn "Grounding and sinking" ? Did you have first hand experience reducinng anxiety ?

 

Edited November 16, 2018 by Shan
Corrected spelling

[SFRL]

I want to try this out: Network Chiropractic Care

See video below:

 

[Wyze]

@Shan

[Wyze]

I think its a feeling of "all is well", let life be as it is, and going with the flow.

[universe]

I think I have been quite anxious while growing up. As is normal. But especially after high school It got a bit worse.

1. When I was in public I got a bit anxious by other people. Especially when I was in periods where I was more alone (like sitting on my pc or studying). Something like tensing up when people walk in my path on the street or being in crowded places like elevators / trains etc. Nothing big but not entirely confident as I could be. I dont remember exactly what it was, but I read somewhere something about being certain(?) with body language. I tried it and immediately felt more secure and confident. Something I like doing when walking in a crowded place, is I "walk with faith". Like I know, anything can happen, but my feet will be going one after the other. Then after watching this video from Leo everything changed. When my body is relaxed there is no anxiety left.

2. Starting in university I got a bit anxious about doing presentations in front of people. Its not like I did anything wrong but I could really feel intense anxiety coming up minutes before the talk. Then, while talking, it was not there so much but It wasnt completely gone until after I finnished talking and could completely relax. What helped me here was this video from charisma on command. Now, I speak free on all presentations and memorize the important parts. Also doing some presentations helped me to become more confident. I still get a bit anxious before presentations but its way down from before. I also see this little anxiety (feeling intense) as a tool to give even better presentations.

3. Lastly and probably my biggest anxiety I have when (cold)approaching girls I find attractive. I get big mindfucks like "shes not interested in talking to me" or "Im not on her level" or "I dont know what to say". Basically a deep feeling of not being worthy. This is the dragon Im fighting and its a big one and I must admit that Im running a bit away from this. As right now its not a high priority from me. Im more focused on work, getting "high on life" and girls Im already seeing. I also found a way to go around this anxiety by doing online dating. To some extend I think this is allright, as Ive noticed that the anxiety becomes less the more I interact with girls in general. Also, I think that improving my life overall is lowering the anxiety. Im also constantly lowering my fear of rejection by accepting every emotion and loving every moment. I could go on here but the gist of it is, that I find it the most helpful to be mindful of negative mindsets and replacing them with positive ones. Also Leos video I mentioned before helps a lot.

 

I find my anxiety very interesting. I know that my level of anxiety directly correlates with what I want in my life. And I know that all the anxiety I have is just a mental construct, thoughts and thus can be overcome.

You could say that Im also irritated why I feel anxiety. Why I have fear. Because I somehow know that its not me. Its not in my nature to be fearful. In this very moment there is no fear, only love.

 

To overcome any anxious situations I do these steps

- Full acceptance of the now, the world, other people, my feelings and emotions, my fear.

- Search for practical tips on how to act in the situation (only if needed)

- Awareness of the body and mind

- Get practical experiences with the situation

 

Ultimately, the biggest thing I find that helps is to increase love

[Shan]

@universe Thanks for posting Leo's video here. I will surely check it out !

[Charlotte]

@Shan Anxiety is literally a resistance to what is. LITERALLY. Observe your thoughts during your Anxiety periods. If you can observe them deeply enough the anxiety with dissolve. 

[Elysian]

4 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@Shan Anxiety is literally a resistance to what is. LITERALLY. Observe your thoughts during your Anxiety periods. If you can observe them deeply enough the anxiety with dissolve. 

I think anxiety is deeper than that. I too can sit with anxiety and after some time it will fade, but that isn't the same thing as anxiety always being caused by resistance (at least the kind of resistance that is referred to here). This just means you were able to have anxiety be released through doing something that is calming and stress reducing. Being  in a state of total non-resistance will remove anxiety caused by resistance, and if in a state of meditation it's also reducing anxiety from other sources. There's 2 different mechanisms going on there.

I don't think achieving zero anxiety is possible for a healthy human being that isn't in living a highly unusual lifestyle in current modern society. Maybe a monk living in a cave having all his needs met by someone else, a child in a rich family that has everything taken care of while also living in an extremely rural area and no interaction with their family, who also is in a state of non-resistance from a deep meditation practice. It would have to be someone who has absolutely no stressors who at the same time isn't resistant to life, which is a very rare thing.

The reason is that not all stress can be prevented. There are stresses completely unrelated to resistance. Stress to your body can cause anxiety, overstimulation can cause anxiety, having to think very intensely can cause anxiety, and the list goes on. At a certain level anxiety is simply an involuntary response to environmental conditions, like sweating during heat or pupil dilation in darkness. A huge reason for a lot of anxiety seen today is caused by resistance, but even if every person in the world became non-resistant to the point of being at peace with starving to death there would still be anxiety.

What is done with this other, beneficial anxiety, is that it is managed to keep it at reasonable or unnoticeable levels for most of the time. After all it is beneficial that body and mind has a built in system to cope with unavoidable stress. This gives birth to the whole field of stress management, because if you want to lower the accumulated anxiety throughout the day/week, there are effective ways of releasing that built up energy. Massages, aromatherapy, warm salt baths, walks in nature, avoiding regularly entering chaotic environments, eating healthy foods, meditation, there are numerous ways to reduce stress. Meditation just seems like the solution because it kills 2 birds with one stone for a resistant person.

Then there are circumstances and traits that cause life to generally be more stressful. A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) will become stressed by things at a deeper level than most people. Simply being in a crowded environment with a lot going on can be stressful for the average person, but for an HSP the overstimulation could be so overwhelming that they simply can't cope with it. They might actually have to remove themselves from the situation before the stress becomes too great. And that's not the same thing as an HSP simply being more resistant than an average person. Their experience is completely different and they need to adjust their life to their traits, although unfortunately they are often forced into unhealthy environments for those who are highly sensitive. 

Then there are circumstances or traits that  reduces one's ability to deal with stress. The energetic field that surrounds our bodies for example, the aura/biofield, can become weakened. Simply by it not being returned to it's normal state one can be much more susceptible to incoming stressors. This energetic field has multiple purposes (and some we'll probably never know), but a key one is that it shields us from the full brunt of outside influences on the body. Although I almost always agree with Sadhguru I think he undervalues the aura because of being born in his generation and in the culture he came from, just like he sometimes misunderstands/incorrectly speaks about Buddhism. If you have ever experienced emotional trauma, even if you worked through/released it all, I'd suggest looking into sound therapy to help repair your energetic field if you've never done so. Emotional trauma is a major cause of damage to our energetic field, and strengthening it will greatly reduce stress/anxiety in one's body.

This is all to say that unless you have some sort of extremely rare medical condition, you will always have anxieties rise up. Just make a sincere effort to avoid needless stressful situations, actively engage in stress-management, and practice non-resistance. It will never be perfect, so don't take it to a neurotic level.

Edited November 17, 2018 by Elysian
Grammar

[Psyche_92]

14 hours ago, Shan said:

Could you further explainn "Grounding and sinking" ?

What i mean by this is getting into the present moment. Focusing attention on what you feel in your body instead of being in your head. Thoughts basically prevent you from feeling the energy, and they also make it worse if you believe them and "run" after them.

14 hours ago, Shan said:

Did you have first hand experience reducinng anxiety ?

I've had pretty bad social anxiety and overall anxiety. Becoming aware of my thoughts was the first step, but experiencing the fear at it's core is essential for lasting relief. You simply stop resisting it and face it head on. It's not easy to do, because we are so conditioned to change a feeling or sensation to something happy instead of experiencing sadness, anxiety...

 

Edited November 17, 2018 by Psyche_92

[exhale]

@Shan

I can give you a story from yesterday. 

I am at a professional conference, where I was granted the privilege of giving a presentation in front of a large group of my colleagues. 

Just prior to my presentation, my sympathetic nervous system kicked into over-drive.  Palms sweating, mouth dry, my heart was pounding so hard I could feel the blood traveling down my aorta.  

Now...  There are two paths that can be taken at this point.

1) This is anxiety! My primitive "lizard brain" is telling me that this is a dangerous situation (making yourself vulnerable in front of a crowd).  I could either flee the situation (fight or flight), or I could use some tool to suppress the anxiety (medications, etc) because I don't like how it feels.

2) I can reframe my feelings and sensations, and take this as a brilliant reminder that I am alive.  I can recognize that these feelings and sensations are "normal" and "part of being a human-being".  Further, in the break prior to my presentation, I went back to my room to meditate; and through mindfulness, I accepted these feelings/sensations, and avoided labelling them as "good" or "bad".  I just felt them, accepted them for what they were.  

 

 

 

 

[lmfao]

@Shan

20 hours ago, Shan said:

@Wyze 

Thanks @lmfao From my experience I think in the near future they will find a simple solution for Anxiety, Until then what you suggest only seems to be the solution. Have you tried Ashwagandha, L-Theanie etc ?

@Psyche_92

 

I get L-Theanine all day every day by drinking decaffeinated green tea. Decaffeinated green tea still contains L-Theanine, incase you were wondering. I honestly have no idea if it helps anxiety. But I can say that it definitely improves my focus for doing studying/reading/homework. 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Elysian Thank you, super helpful insights, what you wrote totally resonated with me... I will look into sound therapy too! 

@Shan I'm afraid I do not have a miraculous success story for you either... That said, I have found things that help... mostly detachment, calming, and big picture thinking... For me, all of it is triggered by a specific individual - in specific situations, and I cannot completely remove that individual (we are both parents), so, I am trying everything... vitamins, various therapies & techniques, all kinds of alternative ideas, etc... When I figure it out, or fully determine what works best for me, I will update you...wishing you great success in your journey  

[Shan]

All. 

Thanks for your love and amazing insights. This is turning into a good thread to manage anxiety. Its so sweet all of us here address people by their usernames and not as "OP" or something else, as they do on othe forums.  We are such a tight community ! 

The main reason for me opening is thread is because I had a day of zero anxiety after a therapy. Today is day 3 and my anxiety is slightly back may be because I partied over the weekend. 

The therapy is called "Bowen" therapy something which a rationalist like me would never believe would work. I went to see a therapist on a colleagues recommendation without knowing what they do and it ended up being Bowen.  My back has also greatly improved on which I spent thousands of dollars before in 2 sessions. I will try to report if any further progress here. 

Observing, Grounding and Coping with anxiety mentally is a welcome input. But I am very impressed  to go to ZERO instantly like pressing a button and dont think any of you experienced such drastic change then.  I have first hand experience of Zero anxiety so it IS possible.  It is like zero gravity for your mind. 

Did anyone experience a Zero anxiety , looked around the world and thought wow -- this is how the world should be without any anxiety weight on your shoulders. What did you do to achieve this ?

 

Edited November 18, 2018 by Shan
small typo

[Charlotte]

@Elysian  Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry I think you misunderstanding my point

I didn't state we could take away all anxiety. I do believe some anxiety is a natural part of the human experience.  

18 hours ago, Elysian said:

released through doing something that is calming and stress reducing

I don't agree that becoming aware of your thoughts is a doing, it's actually the opposite. Becoming aware (I don't class awareness as a 'doing') of the minds nature itself allows for resistance/suffering to be observed which in turn melts away.

[Elysian]

 

10 hours ago, Shan said:

I am very impressed  to go to ZERO instantly like pressing a button and dont think any of you experienced such drastic change then.  I have first hand experience of Zero anxiety so it IS possible.  It is like zero gravity for your mind. 

Did anyone experience a Zero anxiety , looked around the world and thought wow -- this is how the world should be without any anxiety weight on your shoulders. What did you do to achieve this ?

 

Reaching a point of no noticeable level of anxiety for a temporary period is something many people can do. It's maintaining a level a unnoticeable anxiety permanently which might as well be impossible.

4 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@Elysian  Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry I think you misunderstanding my point

I didn't state we could take away all anxiety. I do believe some anxiety is a natural part of the human experience.  

It does sound like I misunderstood you as saying resistance is the cause of all anxiety, and that meditation is the solution.

I don't agree that becoming aware of your thoughts is a doing, it's actually the opposite. Becoming aware (I don't class awareness as a 'doing') of the minds nature itself allows for resistance/suffering to be observed which in turn melts away.

I agree, I misspoke. I see it as being'ness once you've moved beyond concentration. While effort is still needed it's still a doing.