Seeking the truth, but dont care for liberation. Can anyone else relate?

[Mafortu]

I feel like most people on the path to enlightenment are seeking the truth to achieve one main goal: end suffering.
I respect that, happiness feels awesome, but, my main drive has always been understanding the nature of reality and consciousness, for curiosity's sake. Not just a mundane "i wonder if it will rain today" curiosity, but this big thing inside of me what wishes to solve the big mystery.

If the path leads me to happiness, cool, its a welcome bonus. If understanding the truth means sacrificing my happiness, then by all means I am willing. I see no higher goal or price, and I have learned to embrace sadness as one of the many beautiful colors that paint my life.

I've had many fascinating spiritual experiences with psychedelics, ranging from movie-like fantasy realms to black void nothingness, I keep getting insights every day, big or small, but each day feels like a step forward towards the endless path to truth. 

[Joseph Maynor]

What is liberation?  This isn’t so simple as it sounds.  What exactly is liberated and what from?

Edited November 16, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Shadowraix]

Of course there are people like you.

The ending of suffering is just an added bonus.

At the end of the day you are just following your desires. Thats where you find this path.

[Leo Gura]

@Mafortu That is how I am. Genuine desire for Truth is the best motivation.

But suffering lights a nice fire under your ass too.

Don't make this a false dichotomy. Use both and you will go far.

Also, the reason why you don't appreciate liberation from suffering yet is because you have not suffered deeply enough. Don't worry, one day you will Then you will understand.

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Mafortu That is how I am. Genuine desire for Truth is the best motivation.

But suffering lights a nice fire under your ass too.

Don't make this a false dichotomy. Use both and you will go far.

Also, the reason why you don't appreciate liberation from suffering yet is because you have not suffered deeply enough. Don't worry, one day you will Then you will understand.

I kinda fear that my lack of genuine desire to find out the Truth,

Means deeper suffering is coming.

Please don't 

[Jack River]

It can be seen actually that truth and liberation go together. Without one the other is not. 

Another thing we may see, freedom from, is not freedom at all, as that implies a reaction...liberation is never the result of a reaction

It does take a degree of freedom to even explore/investigate/inquire. Otherwise such investigation/inquiry/exploration runs crooked/corrupt. 

Seems to me understanding “the seeker” is pretty important in order or explore beyond, right?

Edited November 16, 2018 by Jack River

[who chit]

4 hours ago, Mafortu said:

my main drive has always been understanding the nature of reality and consciousness,

Beyond being inexplicably fascinated by the fact that you are it,there will never be an understanding of how,what or why.
The one who wants to understand it has to go into it,but that also means it's "death."
When all exhaustive attempts to try and understand have failed, surrendering is the only thing left.
Death is inevitable. One way or another it's going to happen anyway.

But thennn....Who dies ?? 

Edited November 16, 2018 by who chit

[SOUL]

1 hour ago, Joseph Maynor said:

What is liberation?  This isn’t so simple as it sounds.  What exactly is liberated and what from?

Liberation is freeing awareness from the attachment to self identity...  although it is as simple as it sounds but it's not as easy as it is simple. Hehe