What am I?

[now is forever]

@mandyjw you know you mess up his style with all the chaos 

tsuki likes his journal clean and accurate. he is slamming doors right now.

Edited April 4, 2019 by now is forever

[tsuki]

@now is forever Mommy knows me! 
It's so cute that you explain that after she ripped through this place.

[now is forever]

3 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@now is forever Mommy knows me! 
It's so cute that you explain that after she ripped through this place.

well you also ripped some pages... i almost got jealous. so i thought i just drop out. but somehow i didn’t want to leave you alone.

hope you are strong enough. wim hof could help.

Edited April 4, 2019 by now is forever

[tsuki]

@now is forever I'm sorry! We really need to figure something out with the mess that's happening here.
Confusion needs to settle down first. I can't think straight for now.

It's like my mind tries various thought patterns that worked before, but I keep being mindful and it just drops out.
Like beliefs that were there before aren't available anymore so it just gives up.
I actually have to stop being mindful to write posts like this one.
When I read them again, they don't make much sense .

Edited April 5, 2019 by tsuki

[now is forever]

couldn’t resist. if i once have the opportunity...

?⛅️?☀️

just go with the flow - i meddled in.

Edited April 4, 2019 by now is forever

[mandyjw]

@tsuki Your energy isn't your fault. It's not personal. The spirit of place took me over. Your energy is still very beautiful. 

I slipped on the ice and fell down the stairs. Hit my leg pretty bad. For a second, it surprised me but I got up and walked off happy as ever.

You did that. You gave me that power.

Let me know if you want me to leave your journal. I have many callings. None as compelling as you though. 

Edited April 4, 2019 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

54 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@mandyjw you know you mess up his style with all the chaos 

tsuki likes his journal clean and accurate. he is slamming doors right now.

He is kind of a perfectionist isn't he?  

[now is forever]

@mandyjw hahaha - yeah. i already messed him up. he was more perfectionistic before. but maybe it’s his marriage and the trip... who knows. probably my ego currupts that - i love making mess and being responsible for it, without cleaning up.

Edited April 4, 2019 by now is forever

[mandyjw]

@now is forever Love is messy.  

[tsuki]

I feel like a rabid animal stuck in a cage.
The ego desperately wants to claim ownership of this situation and react to it.
To figure out how to deal with it. To find relationships between shadows and disrupt them.
That's a no-no. That brings more confusion.

My wife is my physical mommy, @now is forever is my emotional mommy and @mandyjw is my cruel mommy.
I need to integrate.

[mandyjw]

@tsuki Me too. Last night I felt so close to my father, so far from you, indifferent to my husband. 

 

[tsuki]

@mandyjw I'm very happy to hear that you connected with your father.
You even had some time to know @now is forever better. I think the three of us will make good friends.

In today's I-ching reading I received two hexagrams: Gathering together and Nature.
One is a guidance regarding human relationships, and the other is traditionally associated with the feminine principle.
This is so fitting that it scares me . It gives me hope too, thankfully .

[mandyjw]

@tsuki I'm so happy for us. 

[mandyjw]

@tsuki I hope that this will give you the understanding you needed. 

From the gospel of Mary Magdalene. 

"And desire said, I did not see you descending, but now I see you ascending. Why do you lie since you belong to me?

11) The soul answered and said, I saw you. You did not see me nor recognize me. I served you as a garment and you did not know me.

12) When it said this, it (the soul) went away rejoicing greatly.

13) Again it came to the third power, which is called ignorance.

14) The power questioned the soul, saying, Where are you going? In wickedness are you bound. But you are bound; do not judge!

15) And the soul said, Why do you judge me, although I have not judged?

16) I was bound, though I have not bound.

17) I was not recognized. But I have recognized that the All is being dissolved, both the earthly things and the heavenly.

18) When the soul had overcome the third power, it went upwards and saw the fourth power, which took seven forms.

19) The first form is darkness, the second desire, the third ignorance, the fourth is the excitement of death, the fifth is the kingdom of the flesh, the sixth is the foolish wisdom of flesh, the seventh is the wrathful wisdom. These are the seven powers of wrath.

20) They asked the soul, Whence do you come slayer of men, or where are you going, conqueror of space?

21) The soul answered and said, What binds me has been slain, and what turns me about has been overcome,

22) and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died.

23) In a aeon I was released from a world, and in a Type from a type, and from the fetter of oblivion which is transient.

24) From this time on will I attain to the rest of the time, of the season, of the aeon, in silence."

[mandyjw]

"1) When Mary had said this, she fell silent, since it was to this point that the Savior had spoken with her.

2) But Andrew answered and said to the brethren, Say what you wish to say about what she has said. I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas.

3) Peter answered and spoke concerning these same things.

4) He questioned them about the Savior: Did He really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did He prefer her to us?

5) Then Mary wept and said to Peter, My brother Peter, what do you think? Do you think that I have thought this up myself in my heart, or that I am lying about the Savior?

6) Levi answered and said to Peter, Peter you have always been hot tempered.

7) Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries.

8) But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well.

9) That is why He loved her more than us. Rather let us be ashamed and put on the perfect Man, and separate as He commanded us and preach the gospel, not laying down any other rule or other law beyond what the Savior said.

10) And when they heard this they began to go forth to proclaim and to preach."

[tsuki]

Self-image narrated by thought is the experience of resisting the present moment.

[tsuki]

[purerogue]

2 hours ago, mandyjw said:

@tsuki I'm so happy for us. 

I don't know if you are trolling  or for real, but you are just funny! I like it.    

[mandyjw]

@tsuki I truly adore antique keys. I used to incorporate them in my work. 

1 minute ago, purerogue said:

I don't know if you are trolling  or for real, but you are just funny! I like it.    

I like you too.  

 

[mandyjw]

@tsuki