What am I?

[tsuki]

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@tsuki no my mom just calls them like that and watches the badest kind, but that’s her survival strategy - she’s really cute when she is happy about the worst kind of it. i’d throw up ? but she’s another generation and she’s over 70 so i love her for hanging on.

That's such a feminine way of asking me to say that you are the one that's wise .
You are a very wise woman @now is forever .

[now is forever]

@tsuki saying it, is difficult to take for me - thank you

it’s more saying it because i feel bad if no one sees me. i’m not invisible - it’s difficult if my whole being is expected to be taken for granted/self evident.

it’s about that, too. the fleeing into dreams - it’s really a huge thing the whole romance stuff. mothers give so much more than we ever give back consciously and it’s hard to turn from a child into a mother.

who cares for the emotions of the mother when she cares for the emotions of the child?

Edited April 7, 2019 by now is forever

[mandyjw]

@now is forever The dreams are part of your reality. Accept them and enjoy them for the fleeting pleasures they are. Perfectly fine to flee into them, in fact that's really good.   Sending you lots of love. 

[now is forever]

@mandyjw you are cute

i’m actually very clear and sorted out about that at the moment.

[tsuki]

24 minutes ago, now is forever said:

it’s more saying it because i feel bad if no one sees me. i’m not invisible - it’s difficult if my whole being is expected to be taken for granted/self evident.

I can imagine how hard that has to be on you.
You're like an oyster that wants to be seen. Do you wear pearls?

Edited April 7, 2019 by tsuki

[tsuki]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

Children have been one of my biggest horcruxes. I admitted a month or two ago that I wished I hadn't had kids. It was a big fat regret. I knew I loved the little beings and that everything should be perfect because it already is but... How do you do that? How do you regret bringing people into the world when you did it purposefully and now don't want them? How do you possibly make peace with that?

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

i think this is happening to a lot of women and men, we think about the what if and then the mind starts imagining all the good stuff we never will be able to eat. and yes, a family is a limiting choice - but inside of these limits you can expand the space.

27 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

The dreams are part of your reality. Accept them and enjoy them for the fleeting pleasures they are. Perfectly fine to flee into them, in fact that's really good.   Sending you lots of love. 

I watched Abraham Hicks' video today in which she explained what she meant by the vortex.
I think that dreams when they are followed ignorantly are actually a kind of favor.
I can see how they can be a force of transformation:

1. We dream and desire
2. We get what we wanted and much more
3. We suffer and adapt to circumstances

It's like the masculine is curiosity/survival and the feminine is memory/environment.
It's difficult for humans to be the lower self because they have to learn to alternate between the two when following the Tao.

Edited April 7, 2019 by tsuki

[now is forever]

if i wear pearls? @tsuki haha, just showed one of them. 

one grain of sand.

Edited April 7, 2019 by now is forever

[tsuki]

@mandyjw

[mandyjw]

40 minutes ago, now is forever said:

if i wear pearls? @tsuki haha, just showed one of them. 

one grain of sand.

I'll send you my pearl earrings if you want. Or make you something else.  What's your favorite color?

[now is forever]

@mandyjw i don’t wear earrings - and pearls don’t look good on me 

i‘d love to co create something with you though!

[mandyjw]

@tsuki Beautiful. Whirlpools, two together, interconnected but separate. Like the ocean. Red and Green. Emerald and Ruby. Complementary colors. Opposites on the color wheel. They cause a special vibration when you see them which is what draws/attracts your eye to them. That's why advertisers use complimentary colors to make their products stand out. We were taught all this art class. Ms.Avery was my art teacher. She lived right here in town even though I went 40 minutes away to get to my high school. She lived somewhere off the grid, where the power lines don't reach. I never found out where. Of course. Wow art therapy is powerful stuff. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whirlpool

 

[now is forever]

33 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@mandyjw

don’t get it... who is the unspiral.

and are they in-spirals or out- spirals?

Edited April 7, 2019 by now is forever

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, now is forever said:

@mandyjw i don’t wear earrings - and pearls don’t look good on me 

i‘d love to co create something with you though!

WHAT??? Pearls go with everything silly.

YES! To the last thing. What is your art? Show me! 

52 minutes ago, tsuki said:

I watched Abraham Hicks' video today in which she explained what she meant by the vortex.
I think that dreams when they are followed ignorantly are actually a kind of favor.
I can see how they can be a force of transformation:

1. We dream and desire
2. We get what we wanted and much more
3. We suffer and adapt to circumstances

It's like the masculine is curiosity/survival and the feminine is memory/environment.
It's difficult for humans to be the lower self because they have to learn to alternate between the two when following the Tao.

That's so funny because I feel like I'm carrying the past of this place. I always wanted to "save" this area. Wanted to do it on my own. I went to the library and got a book the history of town. It was so disappointing. Nothing I didn't already know about the clairvoyant doctor. The only cool thing was a story about the author being scared of some lady's house because supposedly she was a witch. 

[mandyjw]

7 minutes ago, now is forever said:

don’t get it... who is the unspiral.

There are no unspirals. This is why your toilet flushed the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere. Still a whirlpool. Still a vortex. No matter which direction it goes. 

I had a hard time grasping right and left. I swear to God. I used to suck my finger when I was a kid, until I was 9. The only way I could learn was going into my body and feeling which fingers those were. Even as an adult those two fingers feel different. My Dad helped me do this he said just think of which hand you eat with. 

When I took drivers ed, I made a right when the instructor said left. He was avretired cop but he was anxious all the time. he freaked out, "LEFT, I said LEFT. DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR RIGHT FROM YOUR LEFT."

"No." I said. Not even trying to be smart with him.

He didn't know what to do with that. 

Edited April 7, 2019 by mandyjw

[now is forever]

@mandyjw i‘ll pm you. 

have to go now, weather is fantastic. city is calling.

[mandyjw]

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@mandyjw i‘ll pm you. 

have to go now, weather is fantastic. city is calling.

It is here too! Nature is calling. 

He should't have tried to go it on his own. We got it right this time. 

[tsuki]

15 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

My Dad helped me do this he said just think of which hand you eat with. 

Hahaha that would just confuse me. I learned to hold cutlery in 'wrong' hands.
I had to learn it again and I still mess it up sometimes .

19 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

I always wanted to "save" this area.

That's masculine energy right there. I'm like the perfect female for you hahaha.

Edited April 7, 2019 by tsuki

[mandyjw]

Just now, tsuki said:

Hahaha that would just confuse me. I learned to hold cutlery in 'wrong' hands.
I had to learn it again and still mess it up sometimes .

@tsuki That movie is a gold mine. Into the Wild. True story. 

Just now, tsuki said:

Hahaha that would just confuse me. I learned to hold cutlery in 'wrong' hands.
I had to learn it again and still mess it up sometimes .

"Wrong" hands what does that even mean? I guess you know how to eat at fancy restaurants?  My sewing teacher, I used to tell her that my mom was constantly telling me not to eat with my hands. She said I needed to learn but that when I was an adult, I could choose to not have silverwear if I wanted. I was like, what? Aren't adults practical and mature? I finally understand what she meant now. 

She used to keep all her cat's whiskers in a jar. Black ones, white ones. I thought that she was a witch. One time I took care of her cats for her. The power went out and I was worried the cat would get cold so i took him home with me. He slept on my head all night. He was the sweetest cat, his name was Brain and he was pure black. Black male cats almost always seem to have the sweetest temperaments. Or Black and white. My friend taught me that. 

[tsuki]

3 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@tsuki That movie is a gold mine. Into the Wild. True story. 

We've seen it already.
It's a perfect illustration of what happens when you think that if one is false then the other is true.
Very tragic and beautiful. I really liked the fact that he died perfected, transcendent.

Edited April 7, 2019 by tsuki

[mandyjw]

Oh like when you're using a fork to hold a piece of steak to cut with a knife? Yeah, that skill eluded me for a long time. 

Here's a recent memory I thought of in the past week or two before this all happened. My sister had her last piece of birthday cake, she got it out and got ready to eat it and it fell on the floor. She cried, like literally cried. She was always the sentimental one and I was the "I don't give a fuck" one. 

I laughed. I still laugh when I think about it. It's hilarious. I'm Voldemort.