What am I?

[tsuki]

So, It had occurred to me that normally - I think that this intersection of the disjoint spaces of senses is understanding. I 'understand' the text. I 'understand' where I touch. I 'understand' that the dinner smells delicious. I can correlate the sight of the meal with its smell. I can do this, because: yadda yadda yadda... 

Sense-spaces appear to be separate, but they aren't. The everyday name for short-circuiting is 'understanding'.
Understanding is seeing through the illusion of separation of senses.

The other thing is that I recognized direction to be short-circuiting of sight and touch. Direction is the answer to "Where?".
I wonder whether the other pronouns are also short-circuits? Like "When?" and "Who?".

[tsuki]

I've been observing this inner movement of mine and its relationship to emotions. I'm starting to observe that there is, in fact, a correlation between the two.

Today, I was having a shower and remembering a situation, where a guy from work said something along the lines of 'taking me along to some clients' and I was getting angry for being treated like some sort of a briefcase to be taken. Immediately, I noticed the boiling sensation in the area of my chest and tried to move it down along the spine. It calmed me down immediately.

Yesterday in the evening I had a headache and noticed that it is a good opportunity to experiment with pain. I sat down to meditate and tried to evenly distribute the movement along the spine and widen it as much as possible. Then, I tried to transfer the headache down the spine and move it towards my left arm. I was successful to some degree, but it stopped in the area of my left shoulder and started radiating along the whole of my arm. Then, I centered it in the heart area and again, tried to overwhelm this sensation by creating as much movement as possible, but the pain remained centered after I got exhausted. I could not feel the pain during the stirring, however.

I tried to move it down along the spine to the base and it seemed like the pain had stopped, but as soon as I lied down on the floor - it was back to the head.

When I was running some errands yesterday, two relevant thing happened. First, when I was going down to the garage in the elevator, some sort of alarm went off as if the elevator was broken. It triggered an emotional response in my chest.
Second situation was when I was parking near the grocery store - a car honked at another to stop him from driving back. I also observed the inner motion in the chest area and recognized to be fear. Interesting that I automatically started looking around whether it was me that caused the trouble or not.

It seems like the area of occurrence of emotions does not correspond to their 'flavor'. I can feel anger and fear in the chest, and in the area of my navel. 

Edited November 18, 2018 by tsuki

[tsuki]

Today, I was contemplating what is motion in relation to the conceptual framework of separate senses.
My method was quite unorthodox, as I was walking around my house and observing how a blanked moved as I kicked it.
I brought the sensation of short-circuiting to my direct experience by touching my fingers and looking at them. It reminded me of the illusion of separation of senses. It the struck me, that motion is nothing else than the recognition that a blanket remains a blanket - even if it is completely different after I kick it.

In other words - motion is the possibility of recognizing something to be itself, even if the experience of it had changed.
The blanket keeps being a blanket even if it looks like something different (after I kicked it).
A song keeps being a song, even if it keeps sounding nothing like itself.
Something keeps being itself even if it is something different.

Motion/change is a paradox in the conceptual framework of separate senses. 
Yet another obvious thing turns out to be a misconception.

Edited November 18, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

@tsuki do you have scissors?

Edited November 18, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

9 hours ago, now is forever said:

@tsuki do you have scissors?

@now is forever Yes, why?

I'm supposed to sleep, but came here to write this:

Change is when something is itself, even if it isn't. <~ that is the perfect way to explicitly write the obfuscated paradox.

Edited November 19, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

6 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@now is forever Yes, why?

I'm supposed to sleep, but came here to write this:

Change is when something is itself, even if it isn't. <~ that is the perfect way to explicitly write the obfuscated paradox.

sorry just for disturbance? i wondered how the blanket would look. 

no wonder you can’t sleep, after what you have done to the blanket.

Edited November 18, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

9 hours ago, now is forever said:

sorry just for disturbance? i wondered how the blanket would look. 

You aren't disturbing me (yet ).

Lately, I've become passionate about knife sharpening and bought a waterstone.
Paper was my victim .

Hey @now is forever, do you feel the pressure in the temples when you stop by to visit my journal?
My energy is going off the charts lately.

Edited November 19, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

55 minutes ago, tsuki said:

You aren't disturbing me (yet ).

Lately, I've become passionate about knife sharpening and bought a waterstone.
Paper was my victim .

Hey @now is forever, do you feel the pressure in the temples when you stop by to visit my journal?
My energy is going off the charts lately.

no unfortunately i passed that stage of being that psychic. (i feel a little burning sensation while writing this) but i intuit some things about your emotions. 

did you do calligraphy?

 

Edited November 19, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

7 minutes ago, now is forever said:

 but i intuit some things about your emotions. 

Now I'm curious. Tell me!

7 minutes ago, now is forever said:

did you do calligraphy?

Not deliberately. I took journaling because I got a beautiful pen and wanted to write with it.
I also studied Japanese for half year and remember having half of my notebook covered in hiragana characters when I practiced.
My signature was also something that I put my heart into.

[now is forever]

just thought because you got interested into sharpening knifes - and because you cut paper 

it was a loose association with a twist.

 

well you describe your feelings/energy fields very well, and where they are located and produce energy, that tells a little bit about what you might feel. should i really tell you - i‘m not psychic you know.

[tsuki]

@now is forever Come on, don't be shy .

[now is forever]

@tsuki it seems like you are stressed at work - you seem to try to understand the relation between selfesteem and emotions like anger and try to understand why it’s difficult to love the people at work? 

it‘s exactly because of the selfesteem. not that you don’t have it, but the communication at work might be on a unsatisfying level.

the people there touch you but mostly on a level that produces anger because of the respectless crude behavior that is shown in the hierarchical order.

you also seem to question the mechanisms that controll you society wise.

there is a second narrative though. i won‘t tell you about that - it’s the narrative that makes me understand so it’s my phantasy narrative.

it‘s not psychic, i told you!

Edited November 19, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

what do you mean with your energy being off the charts?

in a bad way or a good way?

(i mean is it uncomfortable?)

[tsuki]

@now is forever That was very poignant, thank you. Women are scary .
It's gotten much better at work lately.

I deconstructed the idea of work, but do not see clearly what we actually do here yet.
This hierarchical order is maddening because people actually believe it and I don't.
I don't know what to do about it yet.

Quote

it‘s not psychic, i told you!

You have no idea how psychic it is.

Edited November 19, 2018 by tsuki

[tsuki]

18 minutes ago, now is forever said:

what do you mean with your energy being off the charts?

in a bad way or a good way?

(i mean is it uncomfortable?)

No, not really uncomfortable. It's very refreshing. Makes me feel alive. Creativity is through the roof. I can see clearly and everything feels vibrant.

Not at all like my ordinary self. Usually I adopt the stoic attitude between peak experiences.

35 minutes ago, now is forever said:

there is a second narrative though. i won‘t tell you about that - it’s the narrative that makes me understand so it’s my phantasy narrative.

What do you mean that it 'makes me understand'?

Edited November 19, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

@tsuki it makes me understand nothing.

and it’s scary sometimes and overpowering and i don’t know what to do with it yet.

Edited November 19, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

Let's synthesize:

What is the conceptual framework of separate senses?
The experience that reality is partitioned into dimensions of perception such as senses (aristotelian and other).
It refers to the first-person perspective of the world and my everyday understanding of reality.

What is the short-circuit of senses?
The recognition that several dimensions of perception interact (even though I assume them to be separate).
It is the experience of falsehood/paradox of the conceptual framework of separate senses.

What is obviousness?
Look at the monitor. Even if you have doubts about its existence - you still know what to look at.
That is what it means for something to be obvious.

What are you doing here?
There are questions that seem unanswerable.
Questions such as: "What am I?", "What is time?", "What is direction?", "What is change?".
The standard philosophical way of looking at them is to explain them in terms of something else.
What I'm doing here is explaining them away by revealing the underlying paradoxes.

What is the point?
That is a good question that I intuit to point towards a paradox as well.
What is the point of life?

What is a paradox?
Logical impossibility.

Edited November 19, 2018 by tsuki

[tsuki]

2 hours ago, now is forever said:

I'd very much appreciate if people stopped posting sexual content in my journal.
Now, I want to practice calligraphy!

 

Edited November 19, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

@tsuki what? hahaha

it looks even better if the ink is made through circular movement. 

[tsuki]

I should rename the journal to:

Quote

What am I? A 12 years old?