Trouble OPENING UP and being EMOTIONAL

[Alex14]

After watching the episode on masculinity vs femeninity I saw the importance of, as a male, also being emotional. I’ve noticed I’m having very hard time opening up, being more emotional and not so emotionally “autistic”. I really see the need now and I’m starting to get desperate. I can’t express my self. I don’t know it it is insecurity or something like that. How can I let go and be emotionally free? I want to be able to express my self as I want. I want to experience the joy of being confident, with no worries, and I mean this to the enlightenment level. Not fake confidence, real confidence, being ok and calm even if you’ll literally die. Stage turquoise kind of confidence and attitude.

@Leo Gura

[Equanimitize]

These things don't just happen overnight (usually), it takes time. Start taking steps to speak your truth even when your voice shakes. It could be setting your boundaries, it could be speaking up on an unpopular opinion, it could just be being aware and holding some space for yourself in any given situation. Bring your awareness to times when you have fear and when you have opportunities to walk towards fear (false.edvidence.appearing.real). Try and take steps everyday, it's the "unimportant" "small" steps that you do that really matters. Keep setting your intention to evolve and grow as a human being-this means walking towards things you rather not.  Hope this helps 

[Gabriel Antonio]

First of all, emotional vulnerability a practice. But you shouldn't practice with anybody. This is called oversharing. You need to find someone who has earned your trust and who you feel you can step out of your comfort zone. 

Second, do it in homeopathic doses. A common trap is to overdo vulnerability. You gotta take baby steps. As the guy said above, it won't happen overnight.

Third, psychedelics can help you reconnect to your feelings. Just make sure you're doing them responsibly.

Do you want a book recommendation for this topic?

Edited November 15, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[Shadowraix]

I had this issue. Look into your past for clues. I found that my dysfunctional family situation and lack of stability and love had impacted me in a way where I closed up and would get uncomfortable being emotional. I tried opening up to my earlier gfs in highschool, it would result in physical shaking.

MDMA had showed me my pessimist outlook and how I reflected love from others instead of absorbing the love and then creating my own love to give to them. Reflecting instead of exchanging will be emotionally exhausting.

What helped me was all of my realizations about reality itself. To look beyond the ego and imagine the God perspective. It had really opened me up to this carefree perspective. What people say about "me" (ego) doesn't mean that represents me. They compare what I show them to their own ideals. The relativity here is important.

This helped me fight through the initial fear of opening up. Anxiety as well. Then you start small. Practice honesty. Be more open to what you are thinking. Doesn't have to be especially serious or emotional things. You just gotta build up to those.

[Equanimitize]

11 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

 

First of all, emotional vulnerability a practice. But you shouldn't practice with anybody. This is called oversharing. You need to find someone who has earned your trust and who you feel you can step out of your comfort zone. 

Second, do it in homeopathic doses. A common trap is to overdo vulnerability. You gotta take baby steps. As the guy said above, it won't happen overnight

 

I agree, only be vulnerable if you already healed from that which you want to share. In other words you are at the end process of a “part” of you that will be healed or has already been healed.

It does no good to be vulnerable when you haven’t really healed, and most people don’t know what to do in that situation so it’s uncomfortable for everyone. 

[Alex14]

@Gabriel Antonio yes, which  book?

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 15/11/2018 at 11:45 PM, Alex14 said:

yes, which  book?

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

[Alex14]

On 11/23/2018 at 0:46 PM, Gabriel Antonio said:

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Thanks!

[Gabriel Antonio]

@Alex14 It's a great book. I think one of the biggest traps on the spiritual journey is isolation. We forget that bonding with others is actually a need. The author has a really good TED talk.