Losing friends

[Luna]

I recently had to cut off virtually all my "close" friends because it felt toxic and forced and I couldn't get a day by without feeling negative emotions from them. 

 

I feel cold and alone and I don't know if I made the right choice.. any advice?

[kieranperez]

Sit alone with yourself for a few days if possible. Sit with your aloneness. Go deeper

[Sahil Pandit]

@Luna I feel you, it hurts at first and it doesn't seem like it's going to heal any time soon.. but music and solitude really help to ease the pain.

Also, journaling about your experiences with your friends/how you were treated + connecting to ultimately what you're after in relationships helps keep things in perspective.

Hope this helps 

 

[d0ornokey]

this is a great decision. im working on doing the same. i fortunately have good friends to fall back on however

[7thLetter]

I did the same. Had super toxic friends, it was necessary for me to cut them off in order for me to grow. Definitely felt lonely at one point as well, I cried that I didn't have anyone. Nowadays I love my solitude, I value it over a lot of things.

[Shin]

8 hours ago, Luna said:

I recently had to cut off virtually all my "close" friends because it felt toxic and forced and I couldn't get a day by without feeling negative emotions from them. 

 

I feel cold and alone and I don't know if I made the right choice.. any advice?

 

 

 

[K VIL]

you'll feel fine again soon enough. stay up

[Shadowraix]

You did it therefore it was the right decision.

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' only what you do and don't do.

Losing friends won't kill you. You will/can learn and move on.

The regret comes from your attachment to them.

Embrace the cold and aloneness don't try to prevent it.

[exhale]

I struggle with this topic.  If you could add context on why you believe your friends are toxic, and what you goals and motivations were for removing those relationships would be helpful.  

Yes, inevitably you become the average of the closest people to you.  This is an important concept.

Though, there is something said to accept, love, and respect all those around you, for who they are.   This doesn't mean that you can't grow apart with time.  I worry that "surgically resecting" your close friends can be a dangerous instrument to use towards actualization.  I believe it sends the wrong message to your community, although your intentions are likely good, the result is that you appear condescending and elitist (the opposite of love).  

I am big on balance.  I agree that a key to happiness and contentless is to accept the idea (and reality) of being alone.  Co-dependent relationships and tendancies are problematic.  Though, does one need to fundamentally isolate themselves to do this?  I think not, I believe this can spiral into depression for those not prepared for the ramifications.  

Be patient.  Love those around you.  Be the best person you can be, and naturally (with time) your community will evolve.  

[ExodiaGearCEO]

@Shin I love that quote so true.

@Luna hi, it’s okay to be alone. Trust me you are better without them. Guess what happen to be couple years ago. One of my best friend (that I thought was my friend) that I known since elementary til high school. Found out he set me up and got me robbed over $600 and he doesn’t know that I know he set me up. My friend broke the news to me. But yeah I literally cut him off and everything but he was actually a really fun person to be with but I think he is a Social path. I started to meet new friends and guess what? He’s a millionaire! Seriously! He has influence me in my life in business. But my point is find new people that are positive and have similar goals and ambition that you have. Those people will lift you up! And push you out your comfort zone

Edited November 14, 2018 by ExodiaGearCEO

[PsiloPutty]

I did that with one good friend in particular, and while I love and miss her, I feel I did the right thing. 

[Hellspeed]

Is tough. Is something that takes months and years of hard work to cope with self-discovery in an alone setting.