Strugling with meditation/healing myself.

[Healingheart]

Hey guys!

I've been following actualized for almost a year now.

I've been trying to meditate for 9 months. And it has been a almost daily habit.

 

While I meditate I feel a lot of small muscles moving and then relaxing in my upper body. My awareness improves, I feel emotions. 

So it helps. 

But... my body closes directly and I feel stressed again. I can feel good in the evening and I wake up all stressed up. My stomach and heart region all tensed up.

 

(I'm going to nlp therapy for over two months and it helps.) Had a lot of trauma in the past and used all kind of defensive mechanics to hide the truth for myself.

 

Now the question is:

Has somebody else got experience with all the backlash of meditation. It's like I can't be relaxed for a longer period. It takes so long.

[PsiloPutty]

Sounds like the meditating is bringing suppressed emotional baggage to the surface, which is good. If that's the case, I'd keep going with it. Try to not judge the negative moods and tension that you wake up with. Just letting them be with you and experiencing them is a form of healing. 

[Healingheart]

@PsiloPutty Thanks for the reply.

Just being impatient. Meditation helps but in the long run. 

[nistake]

Maybe try to do a session in the morning as well. Right after you got up, drank some water, etc. Granted, you have to wake up a bit earlier so make sure your sleeping routine is sorted out. It's worth it though because you'll set the tone for the day.

[Hellspeed]

Ground the energy of the head and the upper body into legs.