Affirmations

[Ryan_047]

Hello!

A short question...How am I supposed to do affirmations?I should repeat the affirmation out loud,or I should repeat it in my head?

I am suffering from emotional numbness,will affirmations work for me?

[oschi]

The easiest way is to listen to it. There are plenty youtube videos with it. Someone says it and you just focus on the words. My humble opinion is that this is total bullshit. But at the beginning it might be of some help. Maybe you should rather look inside and find the reason why you are so numb. Maybe tell us your lifestory. Or your daily routine.

[Ryan_047]

@oschi I can't do that.My affirmation is "I feel emotions"(well,of course translated into my native language).Leo did a video about affirmations.I am doing affirmations and meditating every day in order to escape this "feeling"(it is hard to call it a feeling).I had made a topic about my problem,it is called "Anhedonia".Take a look on my profile.I want to keep this topic as concrete as possible.Any other opinions?

[oschi]

Well if you can't be more open about that well then I have bad news for you. You are 16 and you just have first world problems living in a second world country called romania, probably. Maybe I am totally talking bullshit. But I can do that because I am a free man and this is just how I want to behave. I guess you sit in front of the computer the whole day, listen to music, play video games, watch movies and then you go to sleep and wonder what the hell is wrong with you. What probably is wrong with you is that you live a very unnatural life.  

[Ryan_047]

@oschi Well,I admit I used to be like this until the 7th grade.I am not a nerd obsessed with video games and movies as you might imagine me.Have you read the forum carefully?I said that I like(or at least liked) coding and editing videos.That's all.That doesn't mean I am staying all day long in front of the computer.I can't call myself an introvert or an extrovert neither..I am somewhere in the middle.I am a normal teenager.And by the way,I seem normal to other people.I am not creepy or anything like it.

Just to get this clear..When I have free time I am spending time with my friends OUTSIDE my house.And we are not just playing outside on the phone,we are moving our bodies..I would like to practice tennis but I can't afford.I'm not stupid...What you wrote above are just prejudices.

I asked a simple question...Do I need to say the affirmations out loud or I can just say it in my mind.No need for other discussions.

[oschi]

9 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

@oschi Well,I admit I used to be like this until the 7th grade.I am not a nerd obsessed with video games and movies as you might imagine me.Have you read the forum carefully?I said that I like(or at least liked) coding and editing videos.That's all.That doesn't mean I am staying all day long in front of the computer.I can't call myself an introvert or an extrovert neither..I am somewhere in the middle.I am a normal teenager.And by the way,I seem normal to other people.I am not creepy or anything like it.

Just to get this clear..When I have free time I am spending time with my friends OUTSIDE my house.And we are not just playing outside on the phone,we are moving our bodies..I would like to practice tennis but I can't afford.I'm not stupid...What you wrote above are just prejudices.

I asked a simple question...Do I need to say the affirmations out loud or I can just say it in my mind.No need for other discussions.

Alright. I tried to provoke you to see if you have more emotions than you actually pretend. Let's say you passed the test for now  And don't ever use the word 'normal' again. This word has no meaning. Affirmations can be done however you want them to be done. The most powerful one is the one where you look in the mirror and speak out loud. For this to happen you should rather find easy sentences that you never forget. So "I feel emotions" is kinda perfect for that. Still I kinda miss knowing what is going on inside you or just throughout the day. Introspection is just the most powerful thing that can ever be. While affirmation in my humble opinion hits you rather on the surface and has no permanent value. I still tend to rely on some prejudices talking to you because I remember me when I was your age. That was chaos for me.

[Ryan_047]

@oschi I guess that you think that I am not really numb and that I imagine or something like this?

Thanks for the response,it really helped me.So,you're not sure what's really happening to me,here's a video.This girl describe exactly how I feel.

 

What does "introspection" means?Can you go in more depth please?I need all the weapons that I can get to fight my numbness..

[oschi]

I am going to tell you what I think. I hope that you feel emotions. Because emotions is somehow the only thing that makes life worth living. I don't know if you maybe pretend this whole thing or if you really are numb, because I don't know you. There might have happened something in your past and you try to escape from it. Maybe you took some medicine or drugs that messed with your brain too much. Introspection is all about forgetting everything around you and just focus on yourself. You think about the thoughts that you have. You have to create an environment that is very silent and dark. Go inside yourself and dig deep in your past. Search for something that you usually would not like thinking about. Think about how people influence you or how you influence people. What do you value? What moments in your life did you like. How is your relationship to your family. Or maybe your friends. Do you like certain kind of food? Do you like eating healthy? Do you like watching football? What do you hate? How do you remember yourself a few years ago?  

[Ryan_047]

@oschi No,I did not took any drugs.Also I'm not smoking or consuming alcohol.Yeah,the 7th and 8th grade were tough times for me.Just to make an summary:My mother and father got sick in those 2 years,especially my father..he was about to die.Also in the 8th grade I had to pass 2 exams in order to reach 9th grade,it was very stressful for me.And there were other things that frustrated me...I remember that when I found out that my father got in hospital I didn't felt anything at all.Not worry,not fear,nothing.I don't know exactly when I became numb.

Even though I can't feel,I act(naturally)  like I feel them.For example,yesterday I was meditating and father entered my room and searched for something.I automatically said to myself, "I hate when this happens".And I can give more examples,you get the point.

Good news for me...yesterday I felt an emotion.My father told me that my aunt has cancer.I can't describe or recreate the feeling I've got,but I know I've had it.It lasted for a second.So,I guess that meditation and affirmations will work..I hope.I also discovered an exercise designed to help people with anhedonia.I hope that I will see some progress..To be honest sometimes I think about commiting suicide if I can't get my emotions back.I mean,would there be a point living if I can't enjoy anything?

What is worse about this "feeling" is that you don't even realize that you have it.You know when I found out that something was wrong with me?When I discovered Leo's channel.He was talking about so much stuff that normally would have inspired/motivate me.But I was like blank.I just didn't cared.I thought at the moment that I was just lazy or stupid.But for some reason I continued watching his videos...Soon I realized that I can't feel attraction/compassion or any other positive/negative emotion for any person that I know.Then I realized that I can't find joy in anything.Normally,coding,reading,running,playing games(and the list goes on and on) would have relaxed me(at least).I mean,if I can't find joy in these activities,where I can find it??

Sorry If I write to much..

[oschi]

On 8.4.2016 at 10:19 PM, Ryan_047 said:

@oschi No,I did not took any drugs.Also I'm not smoking or consuming alcohol.Yeah,the 7th and 8th grade were tough times for me.Just to make an summary:My mother and father got sick in those 2 years,especially my father..he was about to die.Also in the 8th grade I had to pass 2 exams in order to reach 9th grade,it was very stressful for me.And there were other things that frustrated me...I remember that when I found out that my father got in hospital I didn't felt anything at all.Not worry,not fear,nothing.I don't know exactly when I became numb.

Even though I can't feel,I act(naturally)  like I feel them.For example,yesterday I was meditating and father entered my room and searched for something.I automatically said to myself, "I hate when this happens".And I can give more examples,you get the point.

Good news for me...yesterday I felt an emotion.My father told me that my aunt has cancer.I can't describe or recreate the feeling I've got,but I know I've had it.It lasted for a second.So,I guess that meditation and affirmations will work..I hope.I also discovered an exercise designed to help people with anhedonia.I hope that I will see some progress..To be honest sometimes I think about commiting suicide if I can't get my emotions back.I mean,would there be a point living if I can't enjoy anything?

What is worse about this "feeling" is that you don't even realize that you have it.You know when I found out that something was wrong with me?When I discovered Leo's channel.He was talking about so much stuff that normally would have inspired/motivate me.But I was like blank.I just didn't cared.I thought at the moment that I was just lazy or stupid.But for some reason I continued watching his videos...Soon I realized that I can't feel attraction/compassion or any other positive/negative emotion for any person that I know.Then I realized that I can't find joy in anything.Normally,coding,reading,running,playing games(and the list goes on and on) would have relaxed me(at least).I mean,if I can't find joy in these activities,where I can find it??

Sorry If I write to much..

Look. When I was your age I thought about commiting suicide. Though I felt emotions. Was stressed, didn't like the people around me and stuff. My girlfriend in the age of 16 tried to commit suicide. Well she didn't take it seriously. She just cut her arms crosswise with a butter knife. Of course I thought back then that my life doesn't really matter anymore.  That dying isn't such a stupid option. What I didn't know was what kind of possibilities I have in my life. I can't judge life when I never really discovered what can be done. And of course it can be difficult to try new paths in life. But this is what life actually is. It is about leaving the comfort zone and make something great. Drinking alcohol was kind of a motivation for me to exist in the age of 16. Hanging out with people and get wasted. That was cool. And just knowing that my parents don't like that. Felt like a rebel. But there where moments in my life that actually brought tears in my eyes. Moments worth living for. Falling in love, sky diving, trips to foreign countries, not superficial dialogues with people,. Just going out and doing something. It is all much better than just spending my time in this forum.

Just be patient. Maybe it is all going to change. Still I feel like you don't open up too much. If you really take this conversation seriously then take a piece of paper and write down what you do throughout one day. Write down what is happening every hour or so.

[Ryan_047]

@oschi First of all,sorry for not responding.I didn't felt like I wanted to visit this website for a time(I don't know why I didn't want to actually).Why I should do this exercise?Please give me some details.

I am doing 3 exercises each day..affirmations,meditation and also a writing exercise.And when I get the chance I do some sport.I am not really suicidal yet.

If you don't mind,I would ask you to do something for me.During a day,how much emotions do you feel and how intense do you feel them?Can you describe which activities(social interactions,eating,listening music anything) make you feel emotions?If you are willing to answer this question for me,please give me as much details and examples as you can.

Today I found out that my relative that is having cancer is better now...I couldn't feel any kind of emotion..no relief or happiness.