Need a quick advice. Mind on fire at the moment.

[SoonHei]

@Nadosa

1 hour ago, Nadosa said:

I have really doubts that Meditation can repair this fractured self.

That is a belief which will persist as long as it is believed.

 

How is it believed?

By thinking it. By recalling it.

Instead tell yourself the opposite... Affirmations maybe?

 

[FoxFoxFox]

I am this, I am that, I got this, I want that. Imagine life without this paradigm. You can even try it. Every time there was a thought that involved the first person nominative, say simply stop it. How would life be?

[Nadosa]

Boring.

[FoxFoxFox]

7 minutes ago, Nadosa said:

Boring.

Then why complain about the depression and the sadness? After all, these fleeting states amount to the excitement and drama of life.

Give it a try. What you call boring might end up being bliss instead. 

[Nadosa]

That is not easy, you cant break bad habits that easy.

[FoxFoxFox]

@Nadosa Perhaps. Yet perhaps it is only as difficult as you make it out to be. Regardless the outcome is well worth it. Every human being has the god given right to live a life of bliss.

[Nadosa]

Thanks. I have also a very bad connection to my body. My mind is preoccupied with the belief that I cant connect to my body anymore because the "self" "died", so there is no self left being able to connect to the body. I feel foreign to the breath. How can I fix that?

[i am I AM]

@Nadosa No action. No questioning thoughts. Observe all, only when you feel that way.

[Hellspeed]

Get in touch with your buttox. 

[FoxFoxFox]

5 hours ago, Nadosa said:

Thanks. I have also a very bad connection to my body. My mind is preoccupied with the belief that I cant connect to my body anymore because the "self" "died", so there is no self left being able to connect to the body. I feel foreign to the breath. How can I fix that?

These are all beliefs, let go of them. You have never been anything but the Self, and have by your own power created all this world, including your body and the regulation of its physiological functions. Let go of all attachments. Surrender. That's the only advice that will work. Everything else is chasing more illusions.

[Haumea2018]

Quote

Thanks. I have also a very bad connection to my body. My mind is preoccupied with the belief that I cant connect to my body anymore because the "self" "died", so there is no self left being able to connect to the body. I feel foreign to the breath. How can I fix that?

Athletics, yoga, massages.

[Nadosa]

I actually noticed that I automatically fed into the thoughts. I had no choice not to. What does mindfulness serve for then? If I dont have a choice to follow a thought.

[i am I AM]

Why are you trying to give up thought? Even enlightened beings think. But with discipline, thoughts will start to not bother you, so you couldn't care less whether it just keeps coming, and later (or earlier, maybe), they won't influence your actions. Disclaimer: There may be more to this. So mindfulness is just to draw you closer to your environment by being aware of the present. It's easier to get a handle on things that you don't see as separate from you.

[Haumea2018]

On ‎11‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 9:14 AM, winterknight said:

Go get psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapy. There are probably issues in your unconscious that you are not dealing with.

I have to agree with this.

Stop talking and thinking about existential issues and deal with your emotional issues, the problems in your life that are being ignored.

Edited November 15, 2018 by Haumea2018

[Nadosa]

I dont actually know why there should be issues. I go to therapy but I really dont know how it serves me. I recovered from anxiety, depersonalization and derealization, shortly after that, I got this existential crisis.

[Viking]

are you socially isolated by chance? do you talk to people often?

I think you got the good ol' overthinking problem. in other words you believe a bunch of stupid shit. I can tell because of the depersonalization stuff. its usually overthinking that does that, and it goes away with time. (i may be wrong though, see for yourself)

what I suggest you do if you're in school (i assume youre a teen) is to find some friends. (in case I didnt misunderstood and you are a teen) find some hobbies. even if its hard. get into the real world, get out of your mind. do some usual self help, drop the consciousness work right now, it wont lead you anywhere healthy atm I think.

what do you want? you probably want something like a girlfriend or friends or love or fun, like most teens do. those desires lie beneath the mental garbage you've created for yourself. I dont think stuff like self inquiry should be done before a certain age for most people, because your ego hasnt solidified yet.

anyway, look into your desires 

 and act on them. ultimately at the end your desires will lead you to awakening, dont worry.

keep on meditating if you do that but stop the mental masturbation like self inquiry.

p.s. my reply is based on a few of your sentences, i might be wrong, im not even sure youre a teen, see for yourself.

edit: to add, I think, I dont know, but I think that you THINK you got enlightened or some shit, pseudo-enlightenment, no self, bla bla bla. I think youre just misunderstanding what you think you know. thats why you should drop that and pick that up later, much later, when your life is figured out. you dont have much life experience, so you dont have the tools to self inquire properly. true enlightenment comes with maturing, not some depersonalization split self shit. your life should become better with consciousness work, not worse. those panic attacks, its your body telling you you're doing something wrong. if you were truly discovering the true nature of the universe they wouldnt be there. drop consciousness work for now. i know im a broken record.

Edited November 15, 2018 by Viking

[Nadosa]

18 hours ago, Viking said:

are you socially isolated by chance? do you talk to people often?

I think you got the good ol' overthinking problem. in other words you believe a bunch of stupid shit. I can tell because of the depersonalization stuff. its usually overthinking that does that, and it goes away with time. (i may be wrong though, see for yourself)

what I suggest you do if you're in school (i assume youre a teen) is to find some friends. (in case I didnt misunderstood and you are a teen) find some hobbies. even if its hard. get into the real world, get out of your mind. do some usual self help, drop the consciousness work right now, it wont lead you anywhere healthy atm I think.

what do you want? you probably want something like a girlfriend or friends or love or fun, like most teens do. those desires lie beneath the mental garbage you've created for yourself. I dont think stuff like self inquiry should be done before a certain age for most people, because your ego hasnt solidified yet.

anyway, look into your desires 

 and act on them. ultimately at the end your desires will lead you to awakening, dont worry.

keep on meditating if you do that but stop the mental masturbation like self inquiry.

p.s. my reply is based on a few of your sentences, i might be wrong, im not even sure youre a teen, see for yourself.

edit: to add, I think, I dont know, but I think that you THINK you got enlightened or some shit, pseudo-enlightenment, no self, bla bla bla. I think youre just misunderstanding what you think you know. thats why you should drop that and pick that up later, much later, when your life is figured out. you dont have much life experience, so you dont have the tools to self inquire properly. true enlightenment comes with maturing, not some depersonalization split self shit. your life should become better with consciousness work, not worse. those panic attacks, its your body telling you you're doing something wrong. if you were truly discovering the true nature of the universe they wouldnt be there. drop consciousness work for now. i know im a broken record.

Hm...I am 20, actually social, people think I am a "womanizer" because I talk to many girls and people no matter what. I play drums in two bands. I dont know if I can drop it, because meditation is essential for my mental well-being. And yes, I might feel mentally ill, but I see no way out through modern treatments like meds or so, because I just cant see a way out using such methods. 

Edited November 16, 2018 by Nadosa

[Viking]

1 minute ago, Nadosa said:

Hm...I am 20, actually social, people think I am a "womanizer" because I talk to many girls and people no matter what. I play drums in two bands. I dont know if I can drop it, because meditation is essential for my mental well-being. And yes, I might feel mentally ill, but I see no way out through modern treatments like meds or so, because I just cant see a way out using such methods. 

oh great then, i didnt say drop meditation. i said drop self inquiry. also get into emotional mastery, as thats what youre struggling with. read some books.