Helping other people get onto the path

[bejapuskas]

Hey everyone!

I just found this talk on youtube and it is quite funny how this guy is basically trying to create a summary of so many self-actualizing models in one speech  

But seriously, can anyone really help someone else by telling them, if they arent genuinely interested? How is it possible? Some people like to see a good example in their leaders, but some people think that a person like that is just egotistical and wants to manipulate. How do I overcome that, if I wanna focus my life purpose on creating a self-actualizing community?  

[7thLetter]

Hey @bejapuskas wanna come to church with me on sunday so we can go praise the almighty lord jesus christ? he died for our sins we must go and pray, come now little one.

Hey bejapuskas, wanna join my MLM network marketing company? We make $10,000 per week, imagine retiring from your boring and tiring 9-5 job that you hate and go travel the world with your family that you love! Just follow our 1,2,3 step formula to success.

Hey bejapuskas, come join my gang bro. we do weekly house robberies making at least $5k per house and we often snort coke and bang hookers.

Hey bejapuskas, come join us at our love circle and smoke some weed with us, you're gonna love it.

What? You're not genuinely interested in any of this? But why? How I can make you interested in it? I want to help you, Jesus is waiting for us, we must repent our sins. I want to help you, you seem like you're struggling with your 9-5, I can help you make six figures per month. I'm here to help you, we get money and girls. I want to help you, we will show you what it means to truly love and care for the environment!

[B_Naz]

Best way to convince someone is to find out what their problems are and tell them what to do to solve it via use of self-development

If it works, they will be hooked. If not then there is no way to convince them

Everybody wants to do something to BENEFIT them.

[bejapuskas]

@7thLetter @B_Naz I understand what you are trying to say... You are most probably right. I am quite good at finding problems, but nobody really takes my advice seriously, even if they are quietly listening and looking at me and its obvious that they are interested... (I am able to recognize whether someone is or isnt interested, I am not dogmatic about this, its usually only around 15 % of people) I am not going to people, telling them about it, I organize events and meetings, explain what its gonna be about, some of them are very interested, but they dont know how to start self-actualizing... I know its very hard, thats why I am asking... Is there any way to motivate people better, except being a good example? How to become a more motivating speaker, like Leo for example? Are there any good books to read about it? I dont even know if its even possible to do such a thing... I am just curious.  

[7thLetter]

@bejapuskas Through practice and doing the work yourself. So that will come with time. Leo has been doing videos since 2013, maybe even earlier who knows. And that’s why he’s gotten so good at it.

Any books? Yes there’s a book for you its called, “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Very popular book in the self-help industry.

[B_Naz]

Just realised my reply was really lacking one crucial ingredient. Results

You can tell them what to do to try and solve their problems BUT you have to make sure that it creates results for them. Let's take for example, they having motivational issues. You should give them an exercise which is 1) easy, 2) doesn't take long 3) effective. The exercise then should produce results from them. Then, you can feed them theory.

One exercise comes to my mind is visualization practices which takes 10 mins everyday

And if they do it and actually sees results then that's when you can reel them in

The only reason I am here is because of Leo's exercises which actually created results. I could LITERALLY see the results and progression before me so in my mind, if I am actually progressing and making results because of Leo/Self-Actualization, I must carry on.

This was just my personal experience on why I was convinced that Self-Actualization is beneficial for me

Edited November 12, 2018 by B_Naz

[bejapuskas]

@7thLetter I will definitely work on myself, but in what direction, can you give me any advice on that? Maybe from your exeprience and results?  

I read that book, its simple, but foundational... Maybe I will read it again. But! If people read it too much, its not too good either  When you see those people give you extremely strong handshakes and overuse your name  Thats what you can see with some of those self-help junkies.

@B_Naz Exercises are definitely great, when I talk to my friends who are interested, I always mention the practical side.

I have never tried visualization, maybe I should give it a try...

I have never really believed in easy and quick 1, 2, 3 steps solutions... But maybe new people need at least some of these to get interested in the first place! Thanks!

[B_Naz]

@bejapuskas Me either, I don't believe in quick-step solutions but gotta attract them to self-actualization . But I'm sure a more in-depth exercise would also do the trick

Goodluck!!

[Equanimitize]

Embodiment is the key

51/49 comes to mind. That if someone’s pain is perceived greater then keeping the status quo, they will be motivated to seek help.

If not, it is very difficult to convince someone to go on the self actualization journey. 

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. 

[7thLetter]

@bejapuskas Just by doing the self-actualization work yourself. Contemplation, meditation, self-inquiry, applying the theory into your life and seeing it actually happen rather than just blindly believing everything Leo says, all that. You can definitely tell apart from who’s just sharing cool ideas and spreading an ideology vs someone who is passionate about what they do.

You can also grow yourself externally, I’m sure it could help with sounding more convincing. Through the gym, practicing more public speaking, networking, etc. Maybe you can even practice doing videos?

So its not really just going in one direction, but its more about going in multiple directions and your results in those multiple directions will translate into everything else.

I personally don’t lead any teams or groups currently because my life went completely solo by choice, almost like a sage. But with previous experience I did a bit of business and lead a small team. All I was doing was pretty much what I mentioned, gym, public speaking, meditation, reading, networking, and cold-approaching strangers on the street. Doing all of that with tons of consistency just snowballed and I honestly would say that’s when my personality was at its peak. I attracted a lot of people into my life it was almost like magic. And when I was cold-approaching strangers, I had no job so I literally went out every day for at least 4-6 hours per day. Had a small group I went out with. Also did pickup, and same thing, consistently everyday for up to 6 hours, we went out to malls, streets downtown, clubs, and schools.

So maybe try that, the external results are important too cause that’s mainly the only thing that people can see. People can see your confidence, but they can’t really see if you have been working on your inner game, like your metaphysical understanding or questioning of reality for example. Sure they can if you talk about it, but body language and confidence is the thing that shows the most.

[bejapuskas]

@Equanimitize I see... thats probably true.  

@7thLetter I am doing most of the things that Leo suggests me to do, I really am not just watching. How can pick-up help you?

[7thLetter]

7 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@7thLetter I am doing most of the things that Leo suggests me to do, I really am not just watching. How can pick-up help you?

That wasn't directed towards you I'm just saying its one of the habits to implement for anyone in general.

I think pickup would help you become an attractive person. Mainly in the sense that it would bring you external growth, it would bring you confidence on the outside. And that's important for what you're trying to pursue here with creating a self-actualizing community through public speaking, right? Public speaking and the ability to keep the audience engaged is to have confidence. You won't get that just by reading a book. And when I say attractive, I don't just mean attractive to the opposite sex, but to anyone in general. No one wants to listen to some shy person on stage talking about something they're not passionate about and something they don't embody themselves. They want to listen to someone who is confident and speaks clearly.

Leo mentioned that he has done pickup in the past if you didn't know. I'm sure that was foundational for him in his success with shooting his videos.

[Shadowraix]

Personally  I stopped changing my intent to change people's minds. As someone who used to be a very rigid materialist atheist, it takes a certain level of personal development to be receptive to this stuff. That initial barrier becomes one of the hardest walls to help people cross over.

I reply to them not to change their minds but to provide information. Especially in online discussions this goal becomes far less heated to non existent tension and even when they still deny you and call you a lunatic you know you did your job. You introduced a core idea or concept that points to your discoveries and gave them knowledge. And at that point its up to them to figure the rest out for themselves.

Plant the seed, and let them water the plant if they wish. Not getting into this kind of work isn't a bad or wrong thing. Direct experience is by far one of the best teachers for this kind of stuff.

[bejapuskas]

@7thLetter  Sounds like a good idea, but I live in a small town, its kind of hard to do pick-up and I am 15 as well  Maybe I will try something similar...

@Shadowraix  Yeh... I agree with you, it all makes much better sense to me now. I just enjoy how Leo is not too pushy to be weird, but not too passive either... I will have to work hard to find that balance  

[Aquarius]

On 11/12/2018 at 9:33 AM, 7thLetter said:

Hey @bejapuskas wanna come to church with me on sunday so we can go praise the almighty lord jesus christ? he died for our sins we must go and pray, come now little one.

Hey bejapuskas, wanna join my MLM network marketing company? We make $10,000 per week, imagine retiring from your boring and tiring 9-5 job that you hate and go travel the world with your family that you love! Just follow our 1,2,3 step formula to success.

Hey bejapuskas, come join my gang bro. we do weekly house robberies making at least $5k per house and we often snort coke and bang hookers.

Hey bejapuskas, come join us at our love circle and smoke some weed with us, you're gonna love it.

What? You're not genuinely interested in any of this? But why? How I can make you interested in it? I want to help you, Jesus is waiting for us, we must repent our sins. I want to help you, you seem like you're struggling with your 9-5, I can help you make six figures per month. I'm here to help you, we get money and girls. I want to help you, we will show you what it means to truly love and care for the environment!

I'm laughing so hard lol!  I fell into this trap sometimes as well though. Worst memories ugh.  

Edit: It's funny that it's mostly people who have problems themselves who come to you with this approach.  

Edited November 13, 2018 by Aquarius

[Key Elements]

Good question. Good topic. Ask yourself, how could I build a life purpose that is convincing to help others get on the path?

[Andreas]

Find a way to use their emotions

[bejapuskas]

@Andreas That's a good idea! I am probably doing that already, but I might try to work on it more... Great insight!

@Key Elements  I am gonna do that once I have some alone time... I am quite busy doing these speeches, creating presentations and materials, getting experience, I am also going to a student leadership institute event in February and I have to book the flight and organize all the things so yeah  But thanks for the reminder!

Another thing is - how do I not copy someone else? I would like to bring something original to the table, but it's very hard... I still need to grow myself, I will probably invest in Leo's courses on Christmas and start doing intense research on this topic.

[bejapuskas]

I realized, that when I make someone smile, laugh or give them some great value, I feel the love inside me, just as if I was the other person... Giving and teaching is my real passion.

[Key Elements]

On 13/11/2018 at 0:03 PM, bejapuskas said:

Another thing is - how do I not copy someone else? I would like to bring something original to the table, but it's very hard.

You don't have to worry about this part much. If you do a journal, and discovered what you like to do through it, would it be like someone else's? Never. We're all unique, so our uniqueness happens automatically.