is love just a projection? what is genuine reciprocal love? does it exist?

[now is forever]

sounds really cheesy doesn’t it? but really  is love something we only project onto others? is it egoic or what is it - i always thought it was the meaning of life but today i lost my belief so what do you think about it? is it mind over matter? what is genuine love and does it exist? or is the matter so sensitive, can’t be touched?

Edited November 9, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

thought so - no answers to these questions.

[tsuki]

I recently came to understand the saying that we can only love others as much as we can love ourselves.
The only normal people are those that we're yet to get close to - and there is no person closer to me than... I.
I know my ever single little fuck-up, every single thought and emotion. I know my all evils and can I really love that?

Well, guess what - the more you get closer to another person, the more you learn about them as well.
The more open they become and talk about their inner lives, the more darkness you have to stomach.

Is love a projection? In a sense - yes. It is a projection of our relationship to our inner darkness.
Without the ability to stay alone, there can be no bond.
However, once you let yourself be alone - is there a reason to look for love?

Perhaps, this is why it is said that love is not a matter of reason.

Edited November 10, 2018 by tsuki

[Torkys]

True Love is the lack of projection and disturbances. The egoic form of Love arises when you find Purity in something that doesn't challange your beliefs and resistance and that's exactly what the ego wants. 

Love = Consciousness = God

[Preetom]

@now is forever

Love is the dissolution of the subject-object relationship. Totally.

Love is the end of all relationships. 

When the distinction between the lover and the beloved ceases, that is the 'experience' of Love. That's the 'baseline' experience to all experiences before ego arises up and creates the illusion of subject-object duality. In fact, it's not baseline but that's all there is to experience.

Conventionally what is called love in society is a distinct subject trying to hoard another distinct object in order to fulfill itself.

[Charlotte]

 

[Arkandeus]

Love is so powerful, you could experience eternity passing by so smoothly, so easily, in the blink of an eye, in the bliss of the moment  

Love is magical, feeling the hundreds of butterflies fluttering in your stomach, feeling the support from people far away from

Edited November 10, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Psyche_92]

2 hours ago, Torkys said:

True Love is the lack of projection and disturbances. The egoic form of Love arises when you find Purity in something that doesn't challange your beliefs and resistance and that's exactly what the ego wants. 

Love = Consciousness = God

This.

[now is forever]

i‘m still stuck in the difference between mind and heart. i know that the first falling in love butterfly thing takes only some months - i think around three to six months. when that’s over you get confronted with the reality of twosomeness and it shows if the chemistry is right - means how much conflict arises in habits and personalities. if you manage that you can get over to a new stage and it shows how you manage to overcome all obstacles- while doing that you construct your reality around that and there are many situations where you have to make compromises to find your ultimate goal. so is love in the beginning always a projection and it shows only over time?

then the other thing is how balanced is love - is there always one person who loves more and this person sit‘s on the loosing end of the seesaw? 

and what is onesided love isn‘t it a projection, too. 

so for example if someone has a lot of love to give and there is no one to recive it - will that person not search for someone else to recive that love and project it on that person and think it is the love the other person was giving while it has always been the own ability to love that brought about love. what would explain onesided love.

and also that love can sometimes be overwhelming, like love of mothers.

so is reciprocal love not the interaction of the ability of both projector/recivers and lies ultimately in communication? once initiated going back and forth like a pingpong ball? and at one point even forming a love space identity together.

the next question is can there be love without change? i mean it’s impossible to not change. in the beginning that happens willingly and later it becomes a trap if for example both don’t find a kompromise or a konsens or one gives in to the other.

i understand that love is in the end separated from thought/mind and without awareness it is not possible to live conscious love. so i don’t agree completely on:

love=consciousness=god

that would be too downgrading for love. 

love=awareness=god/consciousness 

would that also fit?

 

so is it possible to talk about love as a singularity? i mean if we really go on search for it. is love not something we find around people or something we find in ourselves? and not only something we need to learn to give but ultimately also to recive without rejection even though it is less or different in quality from what we think we‘ve brought in or expected.

where to draw lines - i really don’t know anymore.

Edited November 11, 2018 by now is forever

[kieranperez]

 

[Salvijus]

On 2018-11-09 at 11:35 PM, now is forever said:

sounds really cheesy doesn’t it? but really  is love something we only project onto others? is it egoic or what is it - i always thought it was the meaning of life but today i lost my belief so what do you think about it? is it mind over matter? what is genuine love and does it exist? or is the matter so sensitive, can’t be touched?

Love is just a sweetness of your emotion. Don't make it into complicated, heavenly spiritual thing.

Even dogs are capable of love.

Edited November 11, 2018 by Salvijus

[now is forever]

@kieranperez why does it then make me so aware of the problem that this is spoken of a men’s perspective and teaches everyone just to give in more and more to love while there are some lines that have to be drawn like the line of self determination. and the problem that this is a nice theorie but in reality look how it really is. mostly if you already think that way (and often if you are female) you get exploited.

i struggle completely with where to draw a line there - where is it enough, how much can i take etc. when is it ok to say no, already. 

Edited November 11, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

Love is just a sweetness of your emotion. Don't make it into complicated, heavenly spiritual thing.

Even dogs are capable of love.

yes but humans struggle. i wonder why they even take drugs to feel it.

so maybe yes it is the sweetness of emotion. so you think the mind is of higher value?

but the mind is even suppressing the ability to love. so the mind is the one who decides most of the time isn’t it.

Edited November 11, 2018 by now is forever

[Brittany]

3 hours ago, now is forever said:

i‘m still stuck in the difference between mind and heart. i know that the first falling in love butterfly thing takes only some months - i think around three to six months. when that’s over you get confronted with the reality of twosomeness and it shows if the chemistry is right - means how much conflict arises in habits and personalities. if you manage that you can get over to a new stage and it shows how you manage to overcome all obstacles- while doing that you construct your reality around that and there are many situations where you have to make compromises to find your ultimate goal. so is love in the beginning always a projection and it shows only over time?

then the other thing is how balanced is love - is there always one person who loves more and this person sit‘s on the loosing end of the seesaw? 

and what is onesided love isn‘t it a projection, too. 

so for example if someone has a lot of love to give and there is no one to recive it - will that person not search for someone else to recive that love and project it on that person and think it is the love the other person was giving while it has always been the own ability to love that brought about love. what would explain onesided love.

and also that love can sometimes be overwhelming, like love of mothers.

This is all love.

Unconscious love. But love nonetheless.

It is love dancing in an ocean of darkness and shadow.

The "unconscious love" in your post is the:

- fear

- possession

- feelings of lack

- separation

- ego

- quantifying love. aka the idea that "someone can have more or less love than me". as if anyone has held love in their hands. it is an error. love can not be "counted". this thought causes a lot of suffering.

- good vs. bad

- self hatred

- love needs an object to exist

- the idea that pleasure is more holy than pain

But the shadow doesn't mean the love isn't real. We don't have to throw the baby out with the bath water.

Edited November 11, 2018 by Brittany

[Salvijus]

2 hours ago, now is forever said:

yes but humans struggle. i wonder why they even take drugs to feel it.

 

Yes humans struggle with it because they never payed any attention to know how to make the chemistry of joy and love within themselfs. 

There is a science and technology to take charge of yourself and make yourself blissful or loving all the time. 

It's more simple then you know. Actually being loving and joyful is not even an atchievement, it's most basic first step. But humans struggle with it all their lives. That's indeed, a funny situation goin on

 

Edited November 11, 2018 by Salvijus

[now is forever]

2 hours ago, Brittany said:

This is all love.

Unconscious love. But love nonetheless.

It is love dancing in an ocean of darkness and shadow.

The "unconscious love" in your post is the:

- fear

- possession

- feelings of lack

- separation

- ego

- quantifying love. aka the idea that "someone can have more or less love than me". as if anyone has held love in their hands. it is an error. love can not be "counted". this thought causes a lot of suffering.

- good vs. bad

- self hatred

- love needs an object to exist

- the idea that pleasure is more holy than pain

But the shadow doesn't mean the love isn't real. We don't have to throw the baby out with the bath water.

it’s interesting because yes i didn’t bring up the negative aspects. the fears so to say - the shadowsides, that exist. maybe not all in me but they exist as an experiencable truth if you are observing suffering. so maybe some of them are observed sufferings we project onto the subject of our love projection as well.

but what about the direct experience of self determination and the will to controll or to surrender to the moment isn’t that where all real suffering starts and is maybe ended?

Edited November 11, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

Yes humans struggle with it because they never payed any attention to know how to make the chemistry of joy and love within themselfs. 

There is a science and technology to take charge of yourself and make yourself blissful or loving all the time. 

It's more simple then you know. Actually being loving and joyful is not even an atchievement, it's most basic first step. But humans struggle with it all their lives. That's indeed, a funny situation goin on

 

isn’t it also a little numbing? if you love all the time? you wouldn’t know if something would go down the stream.

Edited November 11, 2018 by now is forever

[Salvijus]

Depression and negative emotions are numbing. It's a slow death in some sense, poison for your soul.

Love exhilarates life. It's intense, it's vibrant it's alive and blossoming, it food for your soul, it's the opposite of numbness. And it's always full of awereness and no ego or very little ego.

 

Edited November 11, 2018 by Salvijus

[now is forever]

@Salvijus yes but that sounds more like happiness - love for life - you can have that and still struggle with reciprocal love.

i mean of course it is better to be happy for example when you were married as a child to a 20 years older man. but what about it is love if it’s not there.

Edited November 11, 2018 by now is forever

[Nahm]

@now is forever Try seeing the humor in love is what you are, thinking is something you’re doing.        

Seriously, do you see how funny this is?  As you see the humor, do you feel the love “in you”? Careful, you can get stuck laughing and loving for the rest of your life, a drunken mess of a loving person. Be very careful with this stuff. Very serious. Oh wait, no, that’s just a thought.  Love is not a thought, it is infinite, so whatever it is, “do I have enough love for even this?”, the arising of love will infinitely be a resounding YES!    

.....and then the thought “reciprocal love” arises....and the circus is on, again!!

?