I am enlightened. Sincere seekers: ask me anything

[winterknight]

14 minutes ago, Preetom said:

''He is a happy man whose mind is inwardly cool and free from attachment and hatred and who looks upon this (world) like a mere spectator''

-Yoga Vasishta Sara (chap 1, verse 19)

'' A great soul witnesses his body's actions as if they were another's. How can praise or blame disturb him?-Ashtavakra Gita (verse 3.10, Bart Marshall translation)

Gotcha. Yes, in one sense these could be read as an instruction to "see the world this way."

But in a deeper and more important sense, they are part of a series of pointers to What Cannot Be Directly Described meant to stop the mind, and the result being -- that the mind has these qualities. So they weren't necessarily meant to be directly imitated so much as they were part of a picture they were trying to get you to grasp. They were trying to make you go "Oh!" and have a little satori.

Quote

 

 Thank you. I get that self inquiry is all about focusing on the 'I', not any content of I, however gross or subtle it is. I'll keep up the inquiry.

But this is where it sort of goes to the end of the line. After few minutes, it is clearly recognized that no content is 'I'. Even the slightest movement of attention is recognized as not 'I'. At that point, where to focus and how? From there, any attempt feels like another content.

Should I still pursue the 'I' with brute force or should I stay in that clear, dis-identified state as long as possible?

 

Either way can work -- you can stay with whatever state of peace you get (the "clear, dis-identified state") and return the mind to it over and over any time any disturbing thought occurs to it.

And such thoughts are liable to occur, because any state where the question even can arise "should I still..." is still a subtly identified state.

So at that point you have two choices. As I said, stay in that state and return to it every time a thought occurs -- this would be a sort of surrender practice.

Or ask to whom the question could occur "what to do next?" (stay in the clear, dis-identified state or "still pursue the 'I'")?

Because the truth is not mere disidentification with all thoughts and feelings but a wordless beyond-a-doubt knowledge of what you actually are.

Edited February 1, 2019 by winterknight

[Preetom]

@winterknight

Thanks for the clarifications! Take care

[MiracleMan]

@winterknight 

1. Did you ever deal with an accumulation of anger, rage, and resentments? 

2.  Can anything be done during those surges of emotion to aid in my practice besides inquiry?

I'm specifically talking about repressed or suppressed thoughts and emotions, not as it relates to an individual having or owning it, but as an event, say, like a recurring weather pattern.

I've heard an analogy that the subconscious is like a stubborn child, while the conscious mind can rationalize and say 'everything is okay, there is nothing happening', the emotions still occur in a predictable cycle, sometimes provoked by events or sometimes apparently just happening without cause.

I realize that I'm reacting to what's not happening, such as a surge of rage occurs at a small upset, this tremendous burst of emotional energy arises, and there is an automatic resistance or contraction around that emotion.  So the emotional response is exaggerated in a sense.

I've been experiencing some negative side effects from Vipassana lately, and its much like clearing out an old wound, it's quite painful, and not all love, light, and rainbows.  I've been quite humbled by it.  Ive uncovered my internal parents, that seem to be stuck in my head, I've realized I'm also codependent and maybe these internal parents in my head are serving me in this way because of my insecurities, so my subconscious is trying to protect me by keeping those aspects of the parents around to keep me in line, and also safe.

I had an intense dream a few nights ago:  I was working in a compartment on an aircraft carrier, my Dad was hovering behind me as I worked nervously, my mother was shouting at me from a catwalk above me.  I remember getting frustrated and losing my cool, and shouting "Mother...get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!" and she did!  And I was relieved in the dream.  I don't remember more than that.

It's obvious I hold a lot of resentments toward my parents, but I'm 32 now, I love them so much, and I have great relationships with them now.  I don't get why I can't let go of so much of the rage!!  I can rationalize, be reasonable, and say that they did the best they fucking could, I'm so fucking lucky considering I know people from horrible situations and who have shitty relationships with their parents.

Maybe this will just take time.  I'm trying to start a Metta practice to take the edge off the Vipassana routine, and maybe build up more compassion for myself and others.  I'm practicing forgiveness, and praying too, it helps.  More than anything, I think if I could be kinder and more accepting of myself, I would be less harsh on others.  I don't think anyone in my entire life has been more abusive to me than me.

It's almost as if I feel a blockage or a dam, close to my heart, that is trying to protect me from harm.

Sorry to ramble, but this just sort of spilled out.  Respond to what you will and thanks.

Edited February 2, 2019 by MiracleMan

[PetarKa]

@winterknight

What is a question?

Edited February 2, 2019 by PetarKa

[winterknight]

4 hours ago, MiracleMan said:

@winterknight 

1. Did you ever deal with an accumulation of anger, rage, and resentments? 

2.  Can anything be done during those surges of emotion to aid in my practice besides inquiry?

I'm specifically talking about repressed or suppressed thoughts and emotions, not as it relates to an individual having or owning it, but as an event, say, like a recurring weather pattern.

I've heard an analogy that the subconscious is like a stubborn child, while the conscious mind can rationalize and say 'everything is okay, there is nothing happening', the emotions still occur in a predictable cycle, sometimes provoked by events or sometimes apparently just happening without cause.

I realize that I'm reacting to what's not happening, such as a surge of rage occurs at a small upset, this tremendous burst of emotional energy arises, and there is an automatic resistance or contraction around that emotion.  So the emotional response is exaggerated in a sense.

I've been experiencing some negative side effects from Vipassana lately, and its much like clearing out an old wound, it's quite painful, and not all love, light, and rainbows.  I've been quite humbled by it.  Ive uncovered my internal parents, that seem to be stuck in my head, I've realized I'm also codependent and maybe these internal parents in my head are serving me in this way because of my insecurities, so my subconscious is trying to protect me by keeping those aspects of the parents around to keep me in line, and also safe.

I had an intense dream a few nights ago:  I was working in a compartment on an aircraft carrier, my Dad was hovering behind me as I worked nervously, my mother was shouting at me from a catwalk above me.  I remember getting frustrated and losing my cool, and shouting "Mother...get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!" and she did!  And I was relieved in the dream.  I don't remember more than that.

It's obvious I hold a lot of resentments toward my parents, but I'm 32 now, I love them so much, and I have great relationships with them now.  I don't get why I can't let go of so much of the rage!!  I can rationalize, be reasonable, and say that they did the best they fucking could, I'm so fucking lucky considering I know people from horrible situations and who have shitty relationships with their parents.

Maybe this will just take time.  I'm trying to start a Metta practice to take the edge off the Vipassana routine, and maybe build up more compassion for myself and others.  I'm practicing forgiveness, and praying too, it helps.  More than anything, I think if I could be kinder and more accepting of myself, I would be less harsh on others.  I don't think anyone in my entire life has been more abusive to me than me.

It's almost as if I feel a blockage or a dam, close to my heart, that is trying to protect me from harm.

Sorry to ramble, but this just sort of spilled out.  Respond to what you will and thanks.

Yes, emotional work is a huge part of the work for most serious seekers. 

I always advise seekers to consider psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic psychotherapy (not just any therapy) (how to find it) -- I've done it, and it's been very valuable for dealing with complex internal emotional issues. Prepare to invest time, money, and effort. It will be worth it.

I also highly recommend expression of your emotions in an artistic medium -- what I call metaphorization, especially in the context of attempting to be more honest about what you want (more detailed in my book). 

Finally, each person is a specific little puzzle that they have to solve themselves. Observe yourself, try to find your triggers, and experiment. Perhaps there are other things in your life you need to deal with that influence your emotional difficulties -- the food you eat, your exercise patterns, and --  perhaps most importantly -- the people around you.

[winterknight]

4 hours ago, PetarKa said:

@winterknight

What is a question?

I'm not sure what you're asking here. Do you mean philosophically, grammatically, or what?

You are going to have to give a lot more context as to how this question came up for you in your search, why you think it matters, what you mean by it, what answers you have contemplated, why that answer doesn't satisfy you, and so on if you want me to be able to effectively respond.

[PetarKa]

13 hours ago, winterknight said:

I'm not sure what you're asking here. Do you mean philosophically, grammatically, or what?

You are going to have to give a lot more context as to how this question came up for you in your search, why you think it matters, what you mean by it, what answers you have contemplated, why that answer doesn't satisfy you, and so on if you want me to be able to effectively respond.

This question came up while contemplating what truth is. Leo emphasizes going after the Truth at all costs.

I guess my real question is:

What is knowledge? How do you know something is true? What does it mean for something to be "true"?

In logic, a statement is considered true if it corresponds to our experience of reality, and false otherwise. Yet I feel there something wrong here.

These things (truth and knowledge) are worshiped among spiritual seekers, yet I feel few of them actually understand (whatever understanding means) what they are worshipping.

[winterknight]

17 minutes ago, PetarKa said:

This question came up while contemplating what truth is. Leo emphasizes going after the Truth at all costs.

I guess my real question is:

What is knowledge? How do you know something is true? What does it mean for something to be "true"?

In logic, a statement is considered true if it corresponds to our experience of reality, and false otherwise. Yet I feel there something wrong here.

These things (truth and knowledge) are worshiped among spiritual seekers, yet I feel few of them actually understand (whatever understanding means) what they are worshipping.

Right. Well, in philosophy there's a multi-thousand year literature on these topics. If you want & need, delve into that.

But in non-dual spirituality, it comes down to something very simple:

Yes, our senses, mind, thoughts, and feelings can delude us.

Yet the testimony of spiritual "finders" is that there is another way of knowing -- one which is not subject to these limitations. The end of the spiritual search is to come into contact with that mode of knowing. It's a self-validating means of knowledge.

So what is it and how does it work? We can only talk about it very vaguely and approximately. Anything we say about it is going to be wrong. But there is a way of 'experiencing' it for yourself. That's the spiritual search.

That's the Truth/Knowledge referred to.

Does that answer your question?

[PetarKa]

1 hour ago, winterknight said:

...

It's a self-validating means of knowledge.

...

But there is a way of 'experiencing' it for yourself. That's the spiritual search.

...

What do you mean by self-validating?

Why "experiencing" in quotes? Is this an experience beyond all perceptions.

Edited February 2, 2019 by PetarKa

[winterknight]

19 minutes ago, PetarKa said:

What do you mean by self-vaself-validating?

Why "experiencing" in quotes? Is this an experience beyond all perceptions.

Self-validating, meaning that when one knows that, one also knows that it is true beyond all doubt. 

Yes, experiencing is in quotes because normal experience involves a subject and an object -- "I experience that." This "experience" is not like that.

[Aakash]

@winterknight i have peeled back the layers and discovered  the i am , the pure awarness , the true self etc 

but my mind is the one doubting and creating thoughts that theres more to do etc 

how do i kill the person doubting and thinking theres more to do. 

self-abidance is what i'm talking about 

i understand that its a switch between both self-inquiry where you have to step back and resides as the awareness. but how do i practice self-abidance without a doubter?

its a really stupid question because either way i'm awareness at all times, but is there a certain lens so to speak to maintain (the awareness lens) without getting sucked back into the maya and thoughts of self deceptions. 

Edited February 8, 2019 by Aakash

[winterknight]

26 minutes ago, Aakash said:

@winterknight i have peeled back the layers and discovered  the i am , the pure awarness , the true self etc 

but my mind is the one doubting and creating thoughts that theres more to do etc 

how do i kill the person doubting and thinking theres more to do. 

self-abidance is what i'm talking about 

i understand that its a switch between both self-inquiry where you have to step back and resides as the awareness. but how do i practice self-abidance without a doubter?

its a really stupid question because either way i'm awareness at all times, but is there a certain lens so to speak to maintain (the awareness lens) without getting sucked back into the maya and thoughts of self deceptions. 

Who is it that wants to "kill the person doubting and thinking theres more to do"?

[Aakash]

its the awareness , i am! in every situation, in everything thats ever happened in this "unified being" known as aakash life. i've always been here. 

i'm basically seeing its an illusion (the doubter) 

and still identifying with it. 

"i" is a very misleading letter 

I AM should i say is here and now. 

Edited February 8, 2019 by Aakash

[SoonHei]

4 minutes ago, winterknight said:

Who is it that wants to "kill the person doubting and thinking theres more to do"?

i will attempt to answer as I seem to be in a similar place

 

the one who wants to kill the person is also the person - in other words, not me.

i am just aware of this unfolding that I want to kill the doubter or try to stop the one thinking there is more to do

 

and I am aware of it, prior to my writing/saying that I am aware of it. 

i am aware - always. silently so 

 

the identification flickers back n forth but the reminding thought which pops up soon after is that I AM THAT and this drops me back to the I AM and detachment occurs.

[Aakash]

@SoonHei But it still doesn't answer how i kill this dude! :') i feel like i have split personality at the moment. 

^^ i've just continue to self-delude myself. 

@winterknight you know what i don't actually think i have any doubts really, its just my mind, thoughts, identifications playing up. the self inquiry route is absolute it ends up at the same place. but i keep getting attached to the doubter. which is why i'm asking for some practical answer of some kind. but i'm probably right in saying. you can't give one because its my own illusion in the end. 

[winterknight]

12 minutes ago, Aakash said:

its the awareness , i am! in every situation, in everything thats ever happened in this "unified being" known as aakash life. i've always been here. 

i'm basically seeing its an illusion (the doubter) 

and still identifying with it. 

"i" is a very misleading letter 

I AM should i say is here and now. 

Well, hold on a second. Is it really true that the "I am" wants something -- for example, to kill the doubter? When you say "I want to kill the doubter," who is aware of that thought?

When you look for the "I" in that sentence "I want to kill the doubter" --> what happens to the mind?

8 minutes ago, SoonHei said:

i will attempt to answer as I seem to be in a similar place

 

the one who wants to kill the person is also the person - in other words, not me.

i am just aware of this unfolding that I want to kill the doubter or try to stop the one thinking there is more to do

 

and I am aware of it, prior to my writing/saying that I am aware of it. 

i am aware - always. silently so 

 

the identification flickers back n forth but the reminding thought which pops up soon after is that I AM THAT and this drops me back to the I AM and detachment occurs.

Right. 

Edited February 8, 2019 by winterknight

[Aakash]

8 minutes ago, winterknight said:

Well, hold on a second. Is it really true that the "I am" wants something -- for example, to kill the doubter? When you say "I want to kill the doubter," who is aware of that thought?

i am doesn't want anything no, it just is 

I am aware 

as soonehei said its the person itself who is aware

8 minutes ago, winterknight said:

When you look for the "I" in that sentence "I want to kill the doubter" --> what happens to the mind?

The mind goes silent and rests

Edited February 8, 2019 by Aakash

[winterknight]

1 minute ago, Aakash said:

i am doesn't want anything no, it just is 

I am aware 

as soonehei said its the person itself who is aware

The mind goes silent and rests

Perfect. So what's the problem? This idea that there is a doubter that you are still attached to IS the illusion. Every time it comes up, inquire into who that is and go back to the place of silence.

[Aakash]

@winterknight there is no problem , its as you said it is the illusion. 

Thank you for your kind words, once again. 

[Aakash]

i get why self inquiry is the royal road to enlightenment now; 

but theres one thing i don't get, why is it that even though enlightenment is finding the true self

that self-inquiry enlightenment doesn't match up to buddahood in comparison terms? 

i agree you find the same awareness in both methods 

but buddhist traditions overall have a more structured embodiment system that you just can't get with self-inquiry 

what's your thoughts on this?