Demonizing the separate self

[AlwaysBeNice]

I am still a noob on the path to some degree, but after 7 years of pretty consistent practice, quite a bit of psy use, and the last few years of obsessive practice.

I can't help but to think how I feel like the destruction of 'separate self' is a bit of a sham, dishonest.

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Yes can have conscious complete dissolution in meditation, in sleep states, etc.

And you can experience deep empty-ness/freedom when functioning in a body-mind as well. 

And I don't know how far that goes..

But afaik, as long as you are functioning through a body-mind, you will experience yourself as separate to some degree.

You are only the full substratum in these glimpses.

If you were it out of those glimpses, I don't see how you could function or even experience life.

Nor what would the point of it be? Wouldn't it make more sense to be able to transcend it, rest, know, and then go into your life again?

(I guess from a POV of disliking yourself/life, that that would seem desirable, but hating one's life, albeit popular on earth, isn't some standard or built-in state (it can really seem as if it's all negative, if that's your state of mind, it can distort the whole universe, I've had many times where when I was feeling good again, that I've been: 'oh wow, it's actually really possible to feel good', it totally seemed impossible at times, I know)).

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So anyways, as long as you have relative functioning..

You can have relative joys and pains: when someone leaves, when someone comes, when someone likes what you do, when someone dislikes what you do.
(And yeah, pain doesn't have to be as painful as we often think, can be beautiful even, and masters aren't beyond this, I've noticed myself, and that's only normal, and some speak about it openly, like David Spero.)

And to know that Peace/Self-Opening can never leave you, that you are also inherently untouched, that is of course a world of difference, and sometimes you may be even so high it doesn't matter at all.

Though I think to strive to be beyond emotions all together is a trap.
Same with striving to be in a state of constant 'bliss', love can hurt as well, it's just part of it, good times, bad times, or good times, challenging times).

So I would say, don't go around, thinking you are not enlightened if you get hurt (nor think you are enlightened..) or that you need more 'fixing'.

Though we can also use our pain to know more of our nature of freedom and grow, certainly.