All things a teen should know about sex

[Ampresus]

Hello everyone. This might not be the place to ask this, but I don't know if I can talk about this with anyone in real life. I don't have teachers that teach sexual education.

While reading about highly effective teen habits, I stumbled upon: ''Teens should know a lot about sex before even thinking about engaging in it''. Since I am a teen, and I have my needs, I wonder what the actual f is going on with sex.

Can someone give me a clear summary about it? Like can someone list all the dangers or how it works maybe? Just linking a good source for a teen to understand could be enough. All I could find were sites who talked about sex in way that it made me feel 20 years older. That didn't feel good. 

All I know is that you should never have sex without a condom and some kind of pills? That viagra makes your d hard. That those people on porn websites somehow are masters in the so called ''pull-out technic''. Oh and that my d can actually break. 

Any information about sex is welcome. I am new to self-actualizing in general, but this has always been my weak spot. I have never had sex, but of course am thinking about it.  

[Rookie]

F O R E P L A Y 

E S C A L A T I O N 

K I N O

Please for the love of God research these terms. 

[SFRL]

37 minutes ago, Ampresus said:

Hello everyone. This might not be the place to ask this, but I don't know if I can talk about this with anyone in real life. I don't have teachers that teach sexual education.

While reading about highly effective teen habits, I stumbled upon: ''Teens should know a lot about sex before even thinking about engaging in it''. Since I am a teen, and I have my needs, I wonder what the actual f is going on with sex.

Can someone give me a clear summary about it? Like can someone list all the dangers or how it works maybe? Just linking a good source for a teen to understand could be enough. All I could find were sites who talked about sex in way that it made me feel 20 years older. That didn't feel good. 

All I know is that you should never have sex without a condom and some kind of pills? That viagra makes your d hard. That those people on porn websites somehow are masters in the so called ''pull-out technic''. Oh and that my d can actually break. 

Any information about sex is welcome. I am new to self-actualizing in general, but this has always been my weak spot. I have never had sex, but of course am thinking about it.  

I knew you were not just going to the watering hole ?

[non_nothing]

the bottomline is the more you dig deeper more you find the truth of theres no safe sex. the only safety would be supplied by trust to each other. There lot of disease asides HIV in std or close touch.

[Spiral]

Just use a condom, if you’re partner has unhealthy looking markers or blemishes be careful. Take things slow, and don’t have high exceptions the first time. 

If you are a guy the hole is further down then you might expect ? assuming she is laying on her back. Also you need to lie on her to get it in from that position unless you wanna make it way more complicated than it needs to be. Also try different condom sizes so you know which one suits you.

  

Edited November 10, 2018 by Spiral

[SFRL]

The last year before I went to Middle school/Highschool we got sexual education from my school teacher(!)

We all had to sit there 11/12 year old kids, note books and pencils provided, and she would tell us everything! Draw out the vagina on the blackboard and we had to copy all that, the whole 9 yards. 

Now this was in open-minded liberal Holland mind you. 

First time I had to finger a girl I knew exactly what to do thanks to that teacher. Fucking awesome! 

 

So here is what you do:

You go sit on the couch or on the bed with your back against the wall and your legs wide. Then you position the girl in-between your legs with her back against your chest. Kind of like you are her chair. She is sitting in between your legs facing the same direction (not on your lap, in-between your legs)

Then you place the tip of your middle finger on her belly button all four fingers next to each other facing down. And then you go down with your hand until you come to her pussy lips. Right as you come to the place where her pussy lips spread, the top part, when you go in there with your finger you find her clit. It's like a little knob. Like a Skittle, the candy. That's the most sensitive part. You stimulate that part she gets an orgasm. You got to run the tip of both your index and middle finger, or just your middle finger (depending on what feels right) in circles over it. Or up and down. Or make kind of a digging motion with your finger tips. Depending on what feels right. Rule of thumb is if it feels good on your finger tips it probably feels good to her as well. Don't be too rough especially starting out. 

With your free hand you can hold a boob. 

Also it feels better to her if you lube it up. Women create their own lube when they are horny (so the dick can slide in better). So you can go further down to where her hole is, get your fingers wet, then bring them up to her clit again. It will feel better for her. 

Again don't rush. Take your time. Take it easy. Be kissing her while you do all this. 

 

I didn't invent all this. You got to thank my teacher. 

[F A B]

Here are some points I figured out through my own experience:

- Find the right partner: someone who doesn't put pressure on you.

- Don't set too many expectations: in the beginning, you need patience. There could be some understandable anxiety, you couldn't get it up, you couldn't find the hole, you could ejaculate too soon...etc

- Time and practice will heal those problems.

- Once you got more experienced, then focus on having amazing sex: give her your gift, tease her, be dominant, be intimate, play the dirty talk game, learn her sexual fantasies…

- Good luck 

Edited November 9, 2018 by F A B

[Ampresus]

22 hours ago, Rookie said:

F O R E P L A Y 

E S C A L A T I O N 

K I N O

Please for the love of God research these terms. 

@Rookie Foreplay = sexual activity that precedes intercourse
Escalation = a rapid increase
Kino = a gum obtained from certain tropical trees by tapping, used locally as an astringent in medicine and in tanning.

 

 

22 hours ago, SFRL said:

I knew you were not just going to the watering hole ?

@SFRL Gosh I wish people would stop reacting to my topics if they didn't have any useful information for me.

[Ampresus]

21 hours ago, non_nothing said:

the bottomline is the more you dig deeper more you find the truth of theres no safe sex. the only safety would be supplied by trust to each other. There lot of disease asides HIV in std or close touch.

@non_nothing So staying a virgin for the rest of my life is healthier?

 

 

17 hours ago, Spiral said:

If you are a guy the hole is further down then you might expect ? assuming she is laying on her back. Also you need to lie on her to get it in from that position unless you wanna make it way more complicated then it needs to be. Also try different condom sizes so you know which one suits you.

@Spiral Thanks for the tips  

 

 

16 hours ago, SFRL said:

The last year before I went to Middle school/Highschool we got sexual education from my school teacher(!)

We all had to sit there 11/12 year old kids, note books and pencils provided, and she would tell us everything! Draw out the vagina on the blackboard and we had to copy all that, the whole 9 yards. 

Now this was in open-minded liberal Holland mind you. 

First time I had to finger a girl I knew exactly what to do thanks to that teacher. Fucking awesome! 

 

So here is what you do:

You go sit on the couch or on the bed with your back against the wall and your legs wide. Then you position the girl in-between your legs with her back against your chest. Kind of like you are her chair. She is sitting in between your legs facing the same direction (not on your lap, in-between your legs)

Then you place the tip of your middle finger on her belly button all four fingers next to each other facing down. And then you go down with your hand until you come to her pussy lips. Right as you come to the place where her pussy lips spread, the top part, when you go in there with your finger you find her clit. It's like a little knob. Like a Skittle, the candy. That's the most sensitive part. You stimulate that part she gets an orgasm. You got to run the tip of both your index and middle finger, or just your middle finger (depending on what feels right) in circles over it. Or up and down. Or make kind of a digging motion with your finger tips. Depending on what feels right. Rule of thumb is if it feels good on your finger tips it probably feels good to her as well. Don't be too rough especially starting out. 

With your free hand you can hold a boob. 

Also it feels better to her if you lube it up. Women create their own lube when they are horny (so the dick can slide in better). So you can go further down to where her hole is, get your fingers wet, then bring them up to her clit again. It will feel better for her. 

Again don't rush. Take your time. Take it easy. Be kissing her while you do all this. 

 

I didn't invent all this. You got to thank my teacher. 

@SFRL Strange how I also live in the Netherlands, but haven't gotten sexual ed. Thank your teacher for me if you ever see her.

 

 

10 hours ago, F A B said:

Here are some points I figured out through my own experience:

- Find the right partner: someone who doesn't put pressure on you.

- Don't set too many expectations: in the beginning, you need patience. There could be some understandable anxiety, you couldn't get it up, you couldn't find the hole, you could ejaculate too soon...etc

- Time and practice will heal those problems.

- Once you got more experienced, then focus on having amazing sex: give her your gift, tease her, be dominant, be intimate, play the dirty talk game, learn her sexual fantasies…

- Good luck 

@F A B Thanks for sharing this with. It could come pretty handy.

[SFRL]

@SFRL Gosh I wish people would stop reacting to my topics if they didn't have any useful information for me.

 

[non_nothing]

38 minutes ago, Ampresus said:

non_nothing So staying a virgin for the rest of my life is healthier?

 If everyone was thinking same as you, you wouldn't be alive today. Read what I wrote again

[Ampresus]

2 minutes ago, non_nothing said:

 If everyone was thinking same as you, you wouldn't be alive today. Read what I wrote again

@non_nothing So trusting each other is really what matters during sex?

[bejapuskas]

@Ampresus Yeh, just trust the girl, condoms are useless anyways  

 

Why would you have sex with someone you dont trust in the first place?

Edited November 9, 2018 by bejapuskas

[Elisabeth]

I guess what you're up to in the next years is some experimentation Remember

Playfulness: Have fun.

Consent: Sexual intimacy, be it kissing, cuddling, manual stimulation, intercourse or other activities, should be pleasant for both parties. Be brave asking girls out and initiating, but if she isn't a "hell yes!" to your offer, you'd better slow down until she's ready, or seek elsewhere. Likewise, if a girl is doing something to your body that you don't like, say so and guide her, or end the unwanted interaction.

No one should ever be forced to do anything in sex - it leaves hard to heal emotional wounds.

Feelings: It's ok to do sex both in a relationship and casually, but be aware that for most people, being physically intimate leads to falling in love (to the extent that for some, there is no such thing as casual). Seek compatible partners: if you want to experiment just for the evening, make sure she's on board, if you want a relationship, seek those who want relationships. It can be very painful if you want a relationship to have sex expecting this is gonna be a relationship and being abandoned afterwards by the other person who just wanted sex -- don't do that to people, be upfront about your intent.

Be sensitive to your partner. Seek ways to please her, and let yourself be pleased. Good, intimate sex feels amazing and can glue a relationship together. Good, intimate sex can even lead to altered states of consciousness sometimes, but you'll probably not hit that until much later.

Sex should not hurt: If she's complaining about pain, there's something very wrong going on. (Well, unless she's a masochist and you're doing it on purpose, but that's a whole other chapter :D) Stop what you're doing, change activity, lubricate.

Especially young girls are often more easily aroused through their clit then vagina. The clitoris is very sensitive. Careful to not hit it with your nail or something, don't put pressure, lubricate.

We're all different: Everyone will have unique things that arouse them and unique things that put them off. Pretty much everything is "normal" when it comes to sexual arousal.

Safer sex: Unless in a monogamous relationship, do use condoms. With an established partner you can talk about dropping them if you have another method of contraception. "The pill" may not be the greatest choice for the female body and psyche, so don't pressure her into using it - but in many cases she will of her own decision, it's a very strong cultural thing now. Should you be having sex with a lot of different people, get tested every few months or something. The STD's, here's a somewhat careless text https://markmanson.net/std-guide

The biology, I hope you can google that, I don't have a good source.

Consensual sex is great, keep it that way.

[Elisabeth]

1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

Why would you have sex with someone you dont trust in the first place?

It's not about trust, it's in many cases you can't know. Even if you do get tested (which few people do), it takes some time for STD's to show on the test, and they don't test for everything, like HPV. Many of those diseases are contagious without showing any symptoms. So outside of committed relationships, use condoms to make contracting a disease or making her pregnant less likely, unless it's your goal

Edited November 9, 2018 by Elisabeth

[Girzo]

How to make it happen? Be decided it's what you really want. Escalate with the girl, touch her here, see how she reacts, touch her here, see how she reacts. She doesn't like it, step back, talk some more and give her time to get comfortable. Then try again. She likes it? Good, go further. Go further. Oops, she didn't like it, step back a tiny bit - aaand... go further.

Right now you could start kissing and have fun through clothes or, if you have been already enjoying yourself for long enough, you can start to get undressed. It will make her feel more comfortable if you take off your shirt first.

Another option is to offer her a massage. Let her lay down on the belly and undo her bra, you have all right to do it, because it's only a massage, nothing sexual.  Always have an massage oil, it works wonders. Pour it on her back and keep it coming, there's no such thing as too much oil. It will have to go somewhere. Mainly on the sides, so you can not only rub her back, but also gently take care of the sides of her breasts.

Don't rush for putting penis into vagina. Be patient and make her really horny first. Use your fingers, tounge, whatever you are ok with. Touch all of her body, not only the most obvious areas.

When you finally get through all of that, then remember that lube is your best friend.

Oh, and if the girl that you have just met insists on not using a condom, then don't think it's because you are so awesome. It's more realistic that she offers it to most of the guys she sleeps with. It's not worth the stress.

[bejapuskas]

@Elisabeth I am just stupid, never mind lol

[Elisabeth]

1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

@Elisabeth I am just stupid, never mind lol

Don't worry, maybe it was a joke from you all along (I wasn't sure), but some other teen reading along could have needed that explanation.

[bejapuskas]

@Elisabeth Yeh it was a joke haha. But I get you  

[Ampresus]

@Elisabeth Wauw thanks for all that information. I am gonna have to re-read this every few weeks.

@Girzo Uhmm... you see I have never bought lube or massage oil. You know where I can buy that by any chance?