Has anyone here ever experienced psychosis before?

[2018]

At the age of 17 I had experienced my first episode of psychosis. Shortly after becoming hospitalized I was diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder and have been living with this illness for the past 17 years. I am currently taking different medications to remain stable and considered by my Doctor to be in full remission with little to no symptoms. The reason why I am posting this, is to see if anyone else can describe how they had experienced their psychosis and what they were feeling at any given time during their madness.

When I was sick, I was experiencing mostly delusions and manic behaviour and was losing touch with reality. I would like to know, for those of you who had gone down a similar road, how did you feel during that time? (your lived experience) 

One way I would explain the experience of psychosis is having a complete absence of fear with constant feelings of euphoria and unlimited energy. I was convinced that I was Jesus for a short time and that "everything made sense to me" or that "I had everything understood in life" on the other side of the coin I had periods of paranoia and was very afraid and even couldn't fall asleep for days.

In the past ten years I've been recovering well and improving tremendously. I have yet to have a conversation with my doctor about how long I ought to be on all of the medications I am taking. A few years ago, I had developed type II diabetes as a result of some of the meds I am on now and would like to improve my health further one day by decreasing my dose If that is determined to be considered a good idea.

For those of you who might be at the beginning stages of your diagnosis and are going through pain and suffering I just want you to know that you will get through it and that you need to be strong for yourself or even for the people you love. You might think that this has been the worst thing that has ever happened to you but I am willing to say that I can bet you will come out stronger than you have ever been before.

 

[YoYoYo]

I haven't watched this video yet but check it out:

 

https://actualized.org/insights/understanding-psychosis

[YaNanNallari]

It sounds like it might be caused by a split between wanting solutions, approval and wanting to feel free, unconditionally loved, powerful. Oh and if this is the case, the solution is very simply to recognize those sides

Edited November 7, 2018 by YaNanNallari

[Anirban657]

I experienced psychosis before.

[zenjen]

During my psychosis I identified heavily with Jesus as well. I thought I was Jesus reincarnated. I've written about my experience of psychosis many times before on the forum if you want to check through my archive. I'm glad to hear you are staying strong

[Manjushri]

I think psychosis is an umbrella term for a psyche that's not able to function properly. Just a label, not even a concrete one... The psychiatrists are like : hmm let's give him a psychosis nos because it doesn't fit in anything else hahahhahaaha.

grandiose delusions happen often yeah

PS the medication given for it blocks dopamine receptors, I don't think you want that as a person who's actualizing... Especially if you gotta fucking pay for it, no fucking way, invest that money in a good therapist

but yeah you got diagnosed with bipolar so I guess that's a chemical disbalance...

not a psychiatrist

Edited November 30, 2018 by Gligorije

[Manjushri]

@zenjen what's interesting is what triggers it... i'm going to read your posts.

 

. i'm a psychology student  btw

[brugluiz]

I had psychosis once and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Maybe I'm just bipolar (don't know). I'm on a low dose of antipsychotics but I still have mood fluctuations. I worry about diabetes.

[LordFall]

My child, how do you fare?