Anyone Read Thick Face, Black Heart ?

[ZenDog]

Im trying to work on my people pleasing syndrome.

In most situations im way too nice and I let people walk all over me.

I've heard this book is good to help you become more coldhearted in order to balance yourself out from being a people pleaser.

 

Is the book good? Does it have any practical exrercises or tips?

[Bombardini]

Hello!

I share your problem with beeing a people pleaser. I can recommend "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "6 pillars of self-esteem" they brought some new awareness to my behavior and explanations behind them. 

Remember, no one can give you self esteem and no one is going to save you. 

Two general "rules" I'm trying to implement are;

1. Never lie. And if you do (because the lies happens fast while in reactive mode) then just notice it. Also understand that laughing when you don't really find something funny just to get approval or fit in or not voicing your opinion because you're afraid of disapproval are also lies.

2. If you fear something - Make it your challenge to do it. Breaking out of the Nice Guy syndrome will require some cojones, but once you get some momentu, you will start to get an understanding for how you are responsible for your self esteem and what you can do to raise it.

OT; I'm really interested in that book as well. Another book I think might fit our cause is "Radical Honesty".

Cheers!

[ZenDog]

@Emilio awesome, thanks

[ZenDog]

21 hours ago, Emilio said:

 

OT; I'm really interested in that book as well. Another book I think might fit our cause is "Radical Honesty".

 

 

Julien did a great review of the book on the "julienhimself" channel.

[charlie2dogs]

I have the book and read it,  (if)  i was still functioning in life as the identity and ego, and the business end of the world was important to me,  the book would serve me well.

[Emerald]

On ‎4‎/‎4‎/‎2016 at 11:50 AM, ZenDog said:

Im trying to work on my people pleasing syndrome.

In most situations im way too nice and I let people walk all over me.

I've heard this book is good to help you become more coldhearted in order to balance yourself out from being a people pleaser.

 

Is the book good? Does it have any practical exrercises or tips?

I've read about half of it and it's great. They even reference it through the Eastern idea of Dharma, which is basically your life purpose. So, if you're centered in your Dharma, it becomes best to practice it with a warriors resolve and be un-swayed by the opinions of others.

[ZenDog]

@charlie2dogs only for business not life in general?

[Irina Irina]

I m expecting the book.. Can t wait to read it. 

[Irina Irina]

@Emilio @ZenDog  radical honesty think will be good also. Ordered them.  Can t wait to read.  Also a people pleaser. 

That s my case Too. No more mr nice guy and six pillars of self esteem, the Best books to this condotion till now. Books have helped me so much. 

Edited April 7, 2016 by Irina Irina

[charlie2dogs]

12 hours ago, ZenDog said:

@charlie2dogs only for business not life in general?

How can i be a self realized being, and allow the opinions, books and even the teachings of others to be the model for my life?  What does that make me,?  But if i was still functioning as the identity, ego and involved in the business world, the book would help the identity to achieve the goals and desires of the identity and physical body.  How i life life now is from the being of consciousness that I am, I accept no books, no teachings, no spiritual practices, no gods and no opinions of others.  This may not make a lot of sense to you right now but im sure some will understand the intent and meaning behind this.  It can be something to contemplate, maybe something will come out of it for you.