Fantasy of men taking advantage

[Faye]

What would be the motivations and reasons that a woman would be turned on by the idea of being taken advantage of by a man. Whether it be by a much older man, rape fantasy or even just a player type that is using them for sex ? 

[Jcent]

@Faye Completely normal. Feminine energy loves to be dominated. 

[aurum]

40 minutes ago, Faye said:

What would be the motivations and reasons that a woman would be turned on by the idea of being taken advantage of by a man. Whether it be by a much older man, rape fantasy or even just a player type that is using them for sex ? 

Part of it is usally that she feels so much shame over her sexuality, that the only way she can enjoy it is if “happens to her”. If she feels she cooperated at all, then all that shame will surface.

This can happened to men as well. But I think it’s generally more common in women because of slut-shaming.

Part of it is also just feminine energy. Feminine energy is receptive and free flowing. It’s surrender.

Even a woman doesn’t have a rape fantasy, most women do want the experience of being dominated, directed, and controled during sex. They want the man to take charge, which frees them up to feel feminine.

[Emerald]

On 11/3/2018 at 6:10 PM, Faye said:

What would be the motivations and reasons that a woman would be turned on by the idea of being taken advantage of by a man. Whether it be by a much older man, rape fantasy or even just a player type that is using them for sex ? 

There is a desire for natural feminine vulnerability that the fantasy give a really intense and dysfunctional version of... because that vulnerability can't be felt in healthier ways due to feminine repression and Animus possession. 

But to be noted, you are the one that is 100% in control of the fantasy. So, it sets up a situation where you can both feel out of control and vulnerable while also simultaneously being in control of everyone in the fantasy: yourself and the men. So, every character in the fantasy is you. And you are the ring master for all of them.

I have had this same fetish before, that has now given way to healthier sexual fantasies that are still based around vulnerability... but not in a dysfunctional way. So, there is actually more to it than this.

A lot of it comes from internalizing misogyny, and a desire to be punished for your womanhood that has been subtly indoctrinated into you over time. And because of the way that the media sees women and their value as being mostly a type of pleasure giver and pretty decorum for a man, this solidifies this problem.

So, when you are being raped in the fantasy there is an association between dehumanization, masochism, and sexual pleasure. And feeling like you derive pleasure only from the man receiving pleasure from your body. And that you're fulfilling your purpose of being a sexual object by supplying that pleasure to men who don't respect your humanity.

And in that fantasy, you can just be thing and you can feel like you've successfully embodied your only purpose as a passive object for male pleasure by having your boundaries totally breeched and submitting yourself to utter dehumanization. 

And it being able to submit to the utter annihilation of your humanity, there is a release and a feeling of vulnerability that you're unable to feel in a healthy feminine way. So, instead of a natural blooming, there is a prying open and breaking. And the pain of being pried open is something that you've come to associate pleasure with... even if you know that it would be very unpleasant if it really happened.

Society hates the feminine. So, those with low self-esteem cannot express healthy feminine vulnerability or receptivity. So, that aspect gets relegated to the shadow and comes out in these fantasies of extreme domination of the masculine over the feminine. 

So, this is what happens when a feminine woman is in resistance to her femininity and her masculinity at the same time.

The masculine side becomes a domineering tyrant over the feminine side, and you succumb to Animus possession. 

So, in the fantasy it is your unconscious/rejected masculine side running amok in the shadow and dominating your suppressed feminine side that is hiding away in shame and fear. This is what Animus possession is. And the shadow masculine can be very violent and rejoice in the suffering of the feminine. 

So, it's important to see that you are the men in the fantasy as well. 

[universe]

38 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I have had this same fetish before, that has now given way to healthier sexual fantasies that are still based around vulnerability... but not in a dysfunctional way.

Very insightful post, please go on.

[Emerald]

6 minutes ago, universe said:

Very insightful post, please go on.

Thank you! The thing to realize is that this issue has not too much to do with sexuality itself. But it plays itself out on the stage of sexuality. And these types of fetishes, can often indicate where there is an issue... where that issue may only slightly relate back to the sexual.

And this has been one of the most difficult things for me to transcend. And I've been working on this for years. So, I've come to realize how and why these patterns come up when and how they do. And I can use these signs and symptoms as a road map to be sure that I'm going in a fruitful direction relative to my inner work.

So, the solution is to integrate both the masculine and feminine side and own whatever is there and repress none. And when this happens, both aspects can be in perpetual embrace and intercourse with one another, conceiving and giving birth to ever more exalted intonations of the self as the more these two aspects are in intercourse the deeper the connection is to that which has been unconscious. So, is like Yin and Yang just flowing together naturally. And it is a way to tap into hidden waiting potentials and to reclaim aspects of ourselves. This is referred to as the "sacred child" in alchemy. 

Now, most often women will have a predominantly feminine energy where men will have a predominantly masculine energy. But there are exceptions, and absolutely everyone has both.

So, it's a bit like the story of the phoenix, where the old phoenix disintegrates into ash only to be born from that same ash as a more exalted form of its previous self.  

[SgtPepper]

On 11/3/2018 at 7:01 PM, aurum said:

Part of it is usally that she feels so much shame over her sexuality, that the only way she can enjoy it is if “happens to her”. If she feels she cooperated at all, then all that shame will surface.

That's some freudian level stuff.

[outlandish]

@Emerald that was some damn interesting insight.

[Eric Tarpall]

On 11/3/2018 at 11:10 PM, Faye said:

What would be the motivations and reasons that a woman would be turned on by the idea of being taken advantage of by a man.

Laziness perhaps. I usually fantasize about being taken advantage of by girls because I'm lazy. Being on top is exhausting.

[Toby]

- putting own needs into the shadow; so it seems safer if these impulses come from outside even if it is in a weird way
- unresolved pain is addicted to reenact situations or emotions even if it is the collective unconscious; that is also the reason men are addicted to dominating women

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, outlandish said:

@Emerald that was some damn interesting insight.

Thank you!

Animus possession, which stems from a repression of both the masculine and feminine in a woman at most is a real beast to tangle with. Like I said, this has been the main thing that I've been exploring for years and years. 

[Gladius]

On 04/11/2018 at 0:01 AM, aurum said:

Part of it is usally that she feels so much shame over her sexuality, that the only way she can enjoy it is if “happens to her”. If she feels she cooperated at all, then all that shame will surface.

This can happened to men as well. But I think it’s generally more common in women because of slut-shaming.

Part of it is also just feminine energy. Feminine energy is receptive and free flowing. It’s surrender.

Even a woman doesn’t have a rape fantasy, most women do want the experience of being dominated, directed, and controled during sex. They want the man to take charge, which frees them up to feel feminine.

Great insight, it's one of those things difficult to talk out loud.

[Leo Gura]

@Faye Reflect on your relationship with your father during childhood. How did you get love/approval from him, or lack there of? That might hold a clue.

But also rape fantasies for women are totally natural and I would say even healthy so long as you're doing it playfully with your man.

There is a big difference between being turned on by that kind of behavior vs actually allowing yourself to be abused by someone you're intimate with. People get turned on by all sorts of weird stuff and it's not necessarily a problem as long as you understand that it's a fantasy.

Low self-esteem is also a huge issue for women who get abused by men. Probably the #1 cause. A man will only respect you as much as you respect yourself. You can raise self-esteem through Nathaniel Branden's work.

[XYZ]

Primal impulse to submit to a dominant alpha, this was a survival strategy for women throughout human evolution. In battle, the men of losing tribes were slaughtered, while the women were taken by the victors and gained their protection, the war bride phenomenon. This same instinct is why women get turned on by violent aggressive behavior in men and fantasize about the idea of being taken by a masculine man, fully surrendering to his sexual passion. This is the counterpart to a man seeing a woman in sexy revealing outfit and knowing it's his true nature to take her by the hand (or grab her by the *****) and lead her to off the bedroom right there and then. You can roleplay with these kinds of scenarios, and communicate openly about how to manage these latent desires while at the same time maintaining healthy relationships.