Fear Of Forgetting

[Magnifico]

Hey hey,

I recently found out that I have this inner fear when I had this AHA-Moment that I forget it, because always when I remember myself on a special situation I think about that I could have apply this one principle I recently found out. It's like I'm happy about that I understand a certain principle, but that's all, It's like I forget it, when I could apply this new learned principle. This really annoys me, because always when I understand sth, then instantly the fear comes up that I could forget it. And how does it end? -> I forget it when I'd have needed it.

I think it's a kind of inner game, where I manipulate myself, maybe based on a wrong self-image. But this constant thought about forgetting sth. really destroys my personal development. Because I only understand the principles, but don't apply it and so I found myself always in the same negative situations, i wanted to avoid with these principles I've "learned". (For example thinking about what others think of me, but then I create stories in my mind where I am cool in front of my friends and other people, but I know that this isn't getting me forward in any way because it is important what I think about me because it's my life and so on ..)

I also was really forgetting as a child and many classmates have called me "grandpa alzheimer" and it kind of hurt me in this time ( Because I always forgot my homework for a couple of times). Could this maybe also be the root for this constant fear. I wasn't really tyrannised but maybe this also has some influence.

Or is the reason of this that I don't really "learn" properly. Maybe I should focus on one principle, apply only this one for a certain time so that it is really fixed in my mind?

What do you think about that? Have you ever experienced sth. like this and how did you cope with it? I am grateful for every answer.

 

With love,
Tim

Edited April 4, 2016 by KeepPounding

[charlie2dogs]

Tim you are functioning as the fictitious identity that you created for this play called life.  You are the actor, all of your action is coming from the actor, what is behind this actor that sees it all, you need to spend more time from there observing the actor and your life will begin to change to make you a more secure, happy, joyful person.