Being half awake is terrible.

[Nadosa]

...without practise. I sometimes feel like my self is miles away and only awareness stays here. Switching back and forth, feeling like there are several personalities, feeling like there is no sense in life because "I" do not exist, thinking and experiences beyond intellectualization, thinking that me as a form shouldnt be here anymore, looking at the date feeling strange since my awakening began. Overall I dont know who I am, looking for a self in my mind, getting an overall view of my life doesnt work, because creating a sense of self is just triggering and leads to a deadlock. Well, the ego believes to be separate from the self, a separate entity. That is a trap, crippling. The last days have been horrible, way more than before. I hope it vanishes. Please.

Edited November 3, 2018 by Nadosa

[Nadosa]

Oh sorry, can a mod move this thread to the spiritual section? @Nahm

Edited November 3, 2018 by Nadosa

[WindInTheLeaf]

Who comes here searching for help? Who needs meaning to be alive? 

[WelcometoReality]

@Nadosa Yeah the pendulum back and forth is no joke. But you are alone in this, completely alone.

[Nadosa]

Yes. Sadly. This all is so crippling because I can't find a self anymore, like someone who experiences this isn't "there" anymore, so I always question who is here then.

Edited November 3, 2018 by Nadosa

[Hellspeed]

Practice, Practice, Practice... 

The realization and knowledge that you are GOD are not enough. 

Edited November 3, 2018 by Hellspeed

[Nadosa]

I think I might have stepped out of the normal dimension, seriously I feel like there is no self but I still operate from the place of ego, so this feels quite uncomfortably insane. 

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, Nadosa said:

I think I might have stepped out of the normal dimension, seriously I feel like there is no self but I still operate from the place of ego, so this feels quite uncomfortably insane. 

If there was no self at all, there wouldn't be something to think it is insane, don't you think ?

[Jack River]

Sounds like mind/thoughts barriers are still in place dude. All means “we” use to arrive somewhere are considered mind movement. Practice, knowledge, experience, to arrive at a realization. All that is conditioned reactionary action and tou may see that that acts as a blindfold to what is. 

When the “me” actually is not, there is no conflict what so ever dude. 

Edited November 4, 2018 by Jack River

[Psyche_92]

On 3-11-2018 at 0:09 PM, Caterpillar said:

you have to live in the moment and completely let go of thoughts

You can't not live in the moment. Try to get out of it if you think you can.

[Jack River]

Maybe any motive of self to let go of thoughts or live in the moment implies missing that moment all together dudes. 

[OneLittleHumanMind]

Sounds like my situation. As for me, quite many shifts have happened in a short amount of time. When I thought I was learning from nonduality, I was not. And now I've gathered so much information from just two goddamn books. It feels so obvious how things should be in my experience and still I'm somewhere in the intermediate space. I don't care much about that ego's life and that makes me challenge almost every aspect there is to care about. Life seems to have been nonsensical service for some illusory self and its fleeting needs, but now it seems nonsensical whatsoever. There is not so much to do in life and similar kind of things continue day after day. I feel like I'm not so inspired of that but somehow consciousness is what it is, and everything satisfies it because it IS everything. But I can't see myself as consciousness get to that. It just seems so vain, in a neutral kind of way. Maybe I've stumbled on my intellect this time.

[wavydude]

this migh bring some clarity 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

Yep.  That's why there's a Path to Enlightenment.  It's a process.  Just keep on walking the Path and doing the work.  You gotta do the work.  Enlightenment requires a lot of work.

Edited November 4, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[WindInTheLeaf]

4 hours ago, Jack River said:

Maybe any motive of self to let go of thoughts or live in the moment implies missing that moment all together dudes. 

.

36 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Yep.  That's why there's a Path to Enlightenment.  It's a process.  Just keep on walking the Path and doing the work.  You gotta do the work.  Enlightenment requires a lot of work.

It requires you to do no effort. You are already it, just gotta flow with it. Our control lies in how much we stand in the way of our own actualization. Letting go of the search for it does not mean you abandon it. Rather you sit back and allow it to come to you by just being you. But then how do I know I'm going the right way? Whatever is here now for you to be, is always the right way, you are it always has been. The journey is the destination, so instead of looking for the destination all you have to do is rest in the current moment of your journey, in whatever is going on, what is now for you. Sure what is now for you may be a question that you search for the answer to, but that search is the answer then. When you stop perceiving what you are doing as being a means to an end of enlightenment, your suffering may end before you know it. Sure, enlightenment has possibly a ton of steps to it, but if you stop looking at the staircase leading god knows how far up, then each step may be a little lighter. Perhaps there will then only be one step, and then the rest just comes by themselves. Perhaps there will be no steps at all, but just a light-hearted bouncing. I don't know, don't take my word for it it isn't worth the paper it is written on, but if anything resonates with you now then let it be.