How to ignore noises or vibrations

[triadne]

Hi, I made a topic a while ago about dealing with noise from a slamming door.
That time, the noise as unreasonable and a lot of people who replied said they also thought it was unreasonable.  The council finally dealt with it after i spoke to them many times. they came and replaced the door and ensured it closed properly and has a lever on it so it is impossible to slam.
It really pushed my stress and anxiety quite high at the time and perhaps I am still in a heightened state. 

Anyway, now I am struggling with various noises and vibration. At this point though, the noises are not what you might call unreasonable. at least I don't think so. for example, I got woken up at around 9.30 am by loud bangs. I think most people would consider that reasonable, but as I have lost sleep because of it, It makes me anxious. I've had sleep problems for a long while so I feel like I can't avoid that, but society views it as expected normal everyday noise. so I need to feel better about it.

The vibration is a tough one. I don't know where it comes from. the majority of it is certainly noise from my own television causing vibrations through my chair etc. but there are times when my TV isn't making any noise and i feel something in my foot. There is the possibility that some of it is coming from a neighbour, the one who was causing issues with the door, and perhaps now is stomping, banging and making loud noises within his flat. I've spoken to the council about that on the off chance it is also causing a problem to the other neighbours and they are also complaining about that. But in the situation where the other neighbours don't view it as a problem, then I am not going to see much of a change and need to find it within myself to be able to ignore this. 

I probably already know the answer, I'm just a little mired in at the moment.  I've been desperately trying to make some money in order to move and so am quite stressed and also lack of sleep causes me to feel subdued and rather depressed.  I'd appreciate any feedback or support you could offer. Thanks for reading.

Jessica.

Edited November 3, 2018 by triadne

[Pelin]

It sounds as if you need to ground yourself regularly.

Try going to a park, garden etc and ground yourself. Walk on grass bare foot, touch or hug trees, do grounding meditation (there's a bunch on youtube)

People say eating root vegetables also helps with grounding but I haven't particularly experienced it. To me nature and earth does the trick.

 

[Nahm]

@triadne  Get up much earlier, you’ll naturally go to sleep earlier (circadian cycle for alignment, well being, health of mind & ease of life). What is it you have been mentally trying to result for a long time now? (Might be used to the ongoing running of the auto resolve that you’re used to it and it may not come to mind readily). Also, can you lighten up in general on this for a moment? I picture a sitcom, and the head of the council is definitly played by Danny McBride, and your roommate is Kristen Stewart, so there’s this foundational plot and push & pull of the roles of serious and jest in reversal. Whatcha think?

[i am I AM]

Just now, Nahm said:

@triadne  Get up much earlier, you’ll naturally go to sleep earlier (circadian cycle for alignment, well being, health of mind & ease of life).

Strange but true for my own experience: you would think it would harm mental function, but no. So I'm grateful I figured that out on my own (maybe with a smol tip from a little-known source: Benjamin Franklin....).

[Rebec]

@triadne Sounds like your stuck in your story what your telling yourself and your mind is repeating this story again and again; 

19 hours ago, triadne said:

I've been desperately trying to make some money in order to move and so am quite stressed and also lack of sleep causes me to feel subdued and rather depressed.

Every behavior has a payoff, so this 'story' your telling yourself has a payoff. Ask yourself;

What is the payoff your getting from the positionality your stuck in? What pleasure, gratification and satasfaction are you getting out of this position? 

Then link your answers to a need, like the need for security or need for love or approval. Most likely your need is something you didn't get in your childhood. Help your little child with innerchild work.

And then vibrations. The world exists out of vibrations. It's possible that you're more tuned in to vibrations. Check out protection aura methods on Google and Youtube. And as @Pelin said; ground yourself.

Do releasing work on people you find are working against you, like your neighbours (release method in Sedona Method book, H. Dwoskin).

19 hours ago, triadne said:

I think most people would consider that reasonable, but as I have lost sleep because of it, It makes me anxious. I've had sleep problems for a long while so I feel like I can't avoid that, but society views it as expected normal everyday noise. so I need to feel better about it.

This is a story. First look for the payoff with your sleep problems. Secondly; why the need to feel better about it, that is resistants... what you resist, persists. Again, releasing and letting go of these thoughts or try 'the Work' (Byron Katie).

19 hours ago, triadne said:

a lot of people who replied said they also thought it was unreasonable. 

This forum isn't what you should be listening to, it's your inner voice. I repeat, you will NOT find the answers in your counsel or neightbours or forum members (they can give only their opinion or give quick fixes (like your door) instead of long lasting solutions. Quick fixes leads to temporary results and not permanent results). Only if your are willing to do the work for yourself (look inside, find your core believes) instead of seeking solutions from others, you can free yourself of your story. From my experience with actualization, this problem of yours will require a lot of time and willpower, don't take it to lightly if you want to solve it.

Wishing you all the best on your journey! ? 

[triadne]

22 hours ago, Pelin said:

It sounds as if you need to ground yourself regularly.

Thanks, I really should do this more. 

14 hours ago, Nahm said:

@triadne  Get up much earlier, you’ll naturally go to sleep earlier (circadian cycle for alignment, well being, health of mind & ease of life).

Actually, I did put a request out to the universe, the angels, my subconscious, however you would normally look at these things, for getting up earlier with minimal stress.  It does seem like I am naturally waking up earlier than I normally would so I think this may be improving.

5 hours ago, Rebec said:

@triadne Sounds like your stuck in your story what your telling yourself and your mind is repeating this story again and again; 

Every behavior has a payoff, so this 'story' your telling yourself has a payoff. Ask yourself;

What is the payoff your getting from the positionality your stuck in? What pleasure, gratification and satasfaction are you getting out of this position? 

Then link your answers to a need, like the need for security or need for love or approval. Most likely your need is something you didn't get in your childhood. Help your little child with innerchild work.

 

Thank you, this is exactly what I have been wanting. I am indeed wanting to work on my own issues and I have felt for a while that my problems with noise etc are not going to resolve unless i do this work. I want to move but I am concerned that noise will still be an issue wherever I move to.  You're also correct, this does stem from earlier life issues. furthest back I can trace it is when a neighbour decided to smash their downstairs wall with a sledgehammer to do some work, at 7am and my mother decided I didn't need to be forewarned.  My mother has a history of being neglectful to  the point of abuse so that is something I have been making a point to deal with and I am on the waiting list to see a therapist to really dive into it.
I think that these vibrations and noises do immediately feel like an affront to me, they make me feel like a victim and I feel like these people should be more considerate, not just of me but anyone else who might also be in my situation. my payoff of course is that I feel like a victim and then my righteous anger is somehow empowering, but of course it isn't.  and with regards to when i sleep, I think I prefer the chance of silence i the middle of the night, so I prefer to stay up late so I can have my own peace and quiet. of course that seems to have evaporated so that may be why my sleep cycle is actually improving now.  of course it doesn't solve the underlying issue. that is.... I feel nobody has a right to encroach on my space with their noises. I want to feel like there is nobody there. maybe because I feel like living in a shared building is... poor. I am a failure perhaps and  am living in the lowest vestiges of society. I realise i'm not at the bottom, but it's not great. I've had the feeling that living in a flat was the worst situation i could be in, I felt this from a young age. it's a value judgement I have held on to.  and it means that I've failed at life and i am a worthless human being. and because my own mother doesn't even love me, then I seem to be worthless to everyone. if I'm not worth anything to my mother then I need to be worthy to society but since I am not, then that puts me in a vulnerable position.  hmmm ok what else is there...  i think that is a lot of it there.. I feel a bit of a release of tension here. I felt a vibration just now and i felt less angry about it.  more forgiving.
I'm sure that this little exploration won't be enough though, I'll have to come back and reread this and see if there is more, but this really helped for now. thank you Rebec for prompting me to do this self examination.