Women and Cheating

[Annoynymous]

Why does a woman cheat in a relationship? And how does she do it? I mean what sort of activities can be defined as cheating?

[Spiral]

@Annoynymous It depends on the relationship and the woman.

Maybe she not satisfied, maybe she’s in long distance relationship and is sexually frustrated, maybe she craves excitement or that she likes someone else. Could be a multitude of reasons and length of cheating.

What constitutes cheating is subjective and should be discussed within the relationship. For me kissing or more(physically) well as dating. 

Edited November 2, 2018 by Spiral

[Annoynymous]

@Spiral can it be possible that she is cheating and also in denial about it? 

[Spiral]

@Annoynymous Yeah I know a women who is getting married soon and doesn’t consider it cheating because “he won’t find out”. 

[Annoynymous]

@Spiral lol

[Shadowraix]

I would define cheating as breaking a mutual agreement that establishes the formation of a relationship.

If you want to change the agreement, then a mutual agreement to change it must be made.

[aurum]

10 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

Why does a woman cheat in a relationship? 

Usually it’s either because she’s sexually frustrated or she feels no sense of stability. Just depends on the situation.

10 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

And how does she do it?

The way I see it happen the most is she’s out partying with her friends and gets swept up in the emotion of the moment. Some guy is pressing all the right buttons and she just goes with it. But I’ve also seen it where she will be far more deliberate about it.

10 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

I mean what sort of activities can be defined as cheating

Cheating is whatever you say it is. There are no hard rules in relationships that exist. Only the ones you as a couple decide upon.

For some couples, having sex with someone else wouldn’t be considered cheating. It just depends.

Honestly, I think “cheating” is a bad term. It implies that the “cheater” is wrong or bad and that the other person is the victim. In reality, almost any situation where cheating takes place is a two way street.

[Equanimitize]

@Annoynymous

13 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

Why does a woman cheat in a relationship?

I think it can be boiled down to the Man in the relationship or at least the Masculine energy-He is not being in his element, he is out of whack, he is not watering the grass, he is unconscious and not aware, he is probably a victim in some form or fashion. Of course this is not always the case, but the way I see it-Masculine energy is the foundation, if the foundation is shaky chances are the tower will tip over. 

[Annoynymous]

6 hours ago, aurum said:

Honestly, I think “cheating” is a bad term. It implies that the “cheater” is wrong or bad and that the other person is the victim. In reality, almost any situation where cheating takes place is a two way street.

@aurum How can it be a two way Street? I didn'the understand. Can you explain a bit?

[Annoynymous]

3 hours ago, Equanimitize said:

@Annoynymous

I think it can be boiled down to the Man in the relationship or at least the Masculine energy-He is not being in his element, he is out of whack, he is not watering the grass, he is unconscious and not aware, he is probably a victim in some form or fashion. Of course this is not always the case, but the way I see it-Masculine energy is the foundation, if the foundation is shaky chances are the tower will tip over. 

Can it be possible that it is entirely a woman's fault?

[Equanimitize]

10 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

Can it be possible that it is entirely a woman's fault?

Definitely, sometimes there are deep insecurities stemming from trauma or some other experience in ones life that will contribute to going out and cheating. Sometimes the Man can be extremely grounded and congruent and for no fault of his own his partner cheats on him. 

 

However, the term extreme ownership comes to mind whenever I think of a woman cheating in the relationship. The Masculine energy being the one who takes full responsibility. The way I see it, it’s the job of the Man to ensure that his relationship is strong and congruent-if not he either needs to water the grass or find some new grass.

[aurum]

15 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

@aurum How can it be a two way Street? I didn'the understand. Can you explain a bit?

Because a relationship is a cooperative endevour.

If someone is cheating, i.e the relationship is essentially failing, then both parties probably have some fault.

Let’s say a man steps out and cheats on his wife. The initial response from most people would be “boo, he lied and cheated. What a scumbag”. But no one is seeing all the hours his wife is nagging him, eroding his self esteem and making him feel less of a man. So he cheats.

Now you might say “boo, his wife is such a bitch, it’s all her fault”. But no one is seeing all the times where maybe he didn’t appreciate his wife, which caused her to nag him.

On and on this goes. Now factor in that both people are just responding to the societal programming they’ve been given since growing up, and you realize that blame is really just a joke. It’s impossible to actually blame one person for anything.

So if there’s any problem in a relationship, both people need to take responsibility and at least be willing to examine their behavior.

[Annoynymous]

@aurum

Thank you for sharing your insights.

I have got another question. What do you thing about the boy/girl with whom he/she is having an affair outside of his/her rltnship/marriage? 

[aurum]

3 hours ago, Annoynymous said:

@aurum

Thank you for sharing your insights.

I have got another question. What do you thing about the boy/girl with whom he/she is having an affair outside of his/her rltnship/marriage? 

Depends on what you mean. I definitely don’t see then as immoral, and I don’t see them as having made a “mistake”. If anything, I just think they could be better off if they adjusted their dating strategy.

[Equanimitize]

5 hours ago, aurum said:

Let’s say a man steps out and cheats on his wife. The initial response from most people would be “boo, he lied and cheated. What a scumbag”. But no one is seeing all the hours his wife is nagging him, eroding his self esteem and making him feel less of a man. So he cheats.

Do you think that he can be manifesting this reality into his own life because he has poor self-esteem, trauma, insecurities, poor conditioning, etc.? In other words the whole reason the wife is nagging him, eroding his self esteem, and making him feel like less of a Man is because deep down inside he may not be grounded as a Man, can it be that the Woman in the relationship is simply showing the Man a mirror of himself of how he feels about himself? 

5 hours ago, aurum said:

So if there’s any problem in a relationship, both people need to take responsibility and at least be willing to examine their behavior.

I agree with this, however if you speak from the standpoint of Masculine/Feminine polarity, it is the job of the Masculine in the relationship to be the ground so to speak of the relationship. If a Man is conscious and grounded I would say that its difficult for these sort of things (cheating) to happen, and someone who is in their healthy masculine wont put up with unhealthy feminine and vice versa. 

I remember a time in my life where I was not grounded, I was a cluster, feeling sorry for myself, etc. and I distinctly remember my Wife snapping at me and "nagging" at me everyday when I would come home. Of course at the time my mindset was "why is she always doing this, or why is she always saying this, and just leave me alone" but what I didn't realize was that it was something that I created through my own limiting beliefs, insecurities, and not doing what needed to be done as a Man. 

[aurum]

5 minutes ago, Equanimitize said:

can it be that the Woman in the relationship is simply showing the Man a mirror of himself of how he feels about himself? 

Of course. That’s what it means to live in a universe governed by law of attraction.

7 minutes ago, Equanimitize said:

If a Man is conscious and grounded I would say that its difficult for these sort of things (cheating) to happen, and someone who is in their healthy masculine wont put up with unhealthy feminine and vice versa. 

I also agree. The feminine will tend to fall into place when the masculine is there.

9 minutes ago, Equanimitize said:

what I didn't realize was that it was something that I created through my own limiting beliefs, insecurities, and not doing what needed to be done as a Man. 

Awesome, I believe you.

I don’t think we’re fundamentally disagreeing. As a man, you take 100% ownership all the time. What I’m really looking to discourage is moral judgments.

[Annoynymous]

@aurum why is it for man taking 100% ownership all the time? Don't you think its also woman's duty to take 100% ownership?

[Hellspeed]

Women don't cheat men, cheat pussyboys.