Journey of Individuation - Becoming my Authentic Self Vol. 1

[Bluebird]

Journey of Individuation

This journal will serve as a way to document my journey through Individuation and Self-Actualisation. Growth, wisdom-seeking and life-purpose work.

I will be updating this journal as often as I see fit. Only a fool would force a creative process to such a degree as to water down the quality of the insights.

Most of what I am sharing here will be deeply personal insights. Hopefully they spur on further insights for myself, and also provide some degree of understanding into your own unique being and subconscious mind.

I will share my process, the most effective methods I've discovered by psychoanalysis and depth psychology, psychedelic work, and most other ways of delving into myself.

Of course, this is not split from self-actualisation work.

My journey has already begun. But now let the writing begin.
 

A little about me

Age: 19
Sex: Male
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Career:

• Building my website & app development business since 15, ramping up now -- Turboclicks
• Working on my first app related to my Life Purpose (check it out here, you'll enjoy it!) -- Purposefinder

History:

• Started my journey at 11 (small steps to begin with: Rich Dad, Poor Dad;  Magic of Thinking Big; LOA)
• Started programming and designing at 13
• Built my first paid website at 15, business has grown naturally from there
• Been on a proper self-development journey since 14, always had a thirst for knowing-myself and living the fullest life
• Moved out at 18, working on launching my first life purpose app

Don't think much else is particularly relevant... That should cover the basics so you have a better reference if you're reading and I start rambling about personal issues or my history in a self-psychoanalysis session.

Edited November 3, 2018 by Bluebird
Prettier formatting

[Bluebird]

LSD 150ug Trip - Jung's Anima & Psychological Insight

Below is a particularly useful link to psychoanalysis I did whilst on 150ug of LSD-25.

I went into this with the intention of doing inner-work, though nothing specific to my Anima. 

However in hindsight I can see that the weeks of work I was doing in relation to my Anima subconsciously led me to this point.  

The most important part is not the insight. That's the easy part.

What is harder is slowly integrating the insights into tangible actions that affect the quality of your life.

This is the real work, and it has not happened for me overnight. It's taken years and I feel as though I've only just begun. I've graduated to 'Novice'.

 

[Bluebird]

A Guide for Highschool & University Students: Finding Your Life Path

I've recently gone about writing a guide to start the journey of finding a life path, particularly for those looking at their next step in their high-school/college/university lives. This is something I essentially did myself, though in a far less formulaic manner. It was very much an unconscious process I "lucked" into.

You've never been told the basic system to discover what you want to do in your life. Stop feeling lost and build certainty around what you will do next.

https://www.purposefinder.io/guides/a-guide-for-highschool--university-students-finding-your-life-path

[Bluebird]

Poetry and connecting with the unconscious

I have found that for me, an incredible tool for connecting with my subconscious mind, as well as my heart is through poetry.

It is essentially a journaling exercise. But the nature of the artistry involved often removes my mind from the equation (which has a tendency to become overly analytical).

I suggest writing poetry, or just freewriting, where you don't stop moving your fingers for more than a few seconds.

The goal is to let your subconscious take over, let your intuition consume your mind. Then, your heart begins to shine through.

Some of the benefits I've seen in my life:

• Thematic elements begin to connect different self-actualisation practices with music with poems, a cohesive web of insights that connect nicely back to words of my own making
• A deeper connection with my intuition and heart
• Alignment with my values of self-expression
• Moving from alcohol-dependent emotional expression and freedom to deep sober expression
• Communication with the deeper unconscious aspects of my psyche
• Greater fulfilment through creation
• Better emotional master -- anger, sadness, depression, excitement, love
• Deep insights into reality (it's a bit like contemplating, journaling -- just in a beautifully poetic manner)
• Improvements in my writing ability

All my poems: https://medium.com/@jackedgson

[Bluebird]

Strategy & Current Execution Steps

1. Launch Purposefinder -- Tue 6th Nov ✅
   1. Aligns my career more towards my life purpose
   2. Builds an email list to make marketing of future courses/books/apps easier
   3. Improves my app development skills and writing skills
2. Build up Turboclicks
   1. Improves my sales skills (cold calling, networking)
   2. Improves my marketing skills (Google/Social Ads, creative marketing, systems, pipelines, proactive)
   3. Creates a team of developers/designers/managers that I can utilise to more effectively build out future apps aligned with my Life Purpose or to manage the programming side of the app.
   4. Creates a solid, reliable source of passive income
   5. Eventually improves my leadership and management ability, systems creation, etc.
3. Find a relationship
   1. I have become comfortable with being alone, now the growth will come in finding a relationship
   2. Improve my social skills, dating skills, and sexual groundedness
   3. Will build up my experience to determine if a relationship will continue a large part of my life or not
4. Habits & Addiction -- setting the groundwork
   1. Ruthless Execution & Effectiveness (minimal procrastination) 
   2. Eliminate TV, YouTube, Netflix and excessive consumption of movies ?
   3. Clean up diet and more physical activity ✅
   4. Meditation and yoga
   5. Contemplation work (start surrounding life-purpose)
   6. Specifically define life purpose
   7. Becoming more vulnerable -- podcast, videos, speaking emotionally, reading at poetry events

 

 

[Bluebird]

A quick example of dream analysis

Had this dream a little while back and decided to analyse it, the analysis ends with an action step to integrate into my life. Which is ultimately the goal of the dream analysis, otherwise you can never grow through communication with your unconscious.

Dream

Was dared by father to try on women's clothes at a store because I said I wasn't affected by peoples opinions much any more (or something like that).

I decided to try on a bra/thong setup in a private changing room. But it was a curtained one and an older woman kept trying to get in not knowing I was there. I was doing everything I could to not let her in.

Analysis

I believe we talked about Drag earlier in the day, so this could be a hangover from that conversation.

Interesting that my father is daring me to try on woman's clothes. This seems important because of it's specificity.

Is this my masculine self (Father), daring me to embrace my feminine aspects more fully.

Initially, it was to just try on shoes I believe, but when I got there I decided to embrace the challenge and felt compelled to try on a very sexual piece of feminine lingerie. This tends to be the way I act in the world, diving deep.

However, when it came to presenting this femininity in myself to the world, I was fighting it.

I didn't want my femininity to be seen, even though I was getting comfortable with it myself. Women were trying to see my feminine side, yet, I wasn't willing to show it. This just led to a massive struggle and anxiety on my part.

Key action: Embrace my feminine aspects, and let that be seen by the world (particularly other women).

[Bluebird]

One of the best documentaries I've watched in years. This is not just a Prison documentary

Do yourself a favour and watch it. Then use it as a model for your own healing and the healing of others.

It's a beautiful way to connect to your heart.

 

Edited November 3, 2018 by Bluebird

[Bluebird]

What is the differece between Zone of Genius and Domain of Mastery?

I guess they are related, I'm getting caught up in getting good (moving towards mastery) in your ideal medium.

For example, my domain of mastery is not necessarily programming since I enjoy it a lot but don't care for it in and of itself. It's a medium.

I should seek to quazi-master my medium, but in a way that subordinates it to my true Domain of Mastery which I would call "Personal Growth" or "Individuation". I don't like that term though, it feels far too broad for a domain of master, like I need something specific. 

It feels a lot like a musician saying they want to master Music... I mean, it seems a little too vague. They probably have their unique style of music to master, or their unique instrument, not necesarrily the whole field.

But then again, maybe a master would be interested in the whole field. I'm don't find myself interested in the whole field of Personal Development (which I feel is broad enough to include: Skills, finances, dating, etc.) as well as the core elements.

So I limited it down from "Personal Development" to "Individuation" which is more specific, but again it doesn't feel like it encompasses the truth of what I want to master.

I have this same issue with my Life Purpose: Help people explore their depths to grow wiser.

But the words don't express what I actually feel. I've tapped into a certain feeling of my higher-self and purpose through a psychedelic experience, though it's like a dream now and the vision and feelings are vague. Even then I can tap into that and it feels right, the words however I have yet to get right. This linguistcally comunicates the message, but certainly not emotionally for me.

Media that represents my life purpose: The Work, Maniac, ...

I cry in certain movies/tv shows that connect to my core, same with certain songs. When I get to that point in the 1 sentence summary I'll have hit gold. I don't know if it's even possible though.

Maybe I'm just working on the Life Purpose to delay / waste time that I could be working towards my Life Purpose...