Breaking Vicious Circles

[Misty]

Hi,

I've been watching Leo's videos for about a year now, getting all the "Aha" moments but actually doing nothing to improve my life. Finally, I signed up in the forum after watching the How To Be A Strategic Mother****** video.

I'm 26, female, repeatedly postponing my medical school exams for two years now. I have been in med school for 8 years (it should've only been only 6; I should've been graduated two years ago). I also gained a significant amount of weight (BMI: 33), lost my social life, sitting home all day to basically "catch up" studying in order not to postpone my graduation further. Where I live, doctors spend 3 more years after graduation until they finally get a specialty. So in a nutshell, my academic, personal, and social life are a mess. And they've been a mess for over 2 years.

I think big of myself everyday. I want to graduate, look good, pursue further medical education in the US, UK or Australia, be in a relationship, reconnect socially with people. On the other hand, what I actually do is pitying myself, postponing, eating, not exercising, making excuses. It's like I'm expecting to magically do better one day. 

I've been seeing or dealing with no more than 6 people and they are all family. I go out once a week on average. I feel undersocialized, and maybe this is why I signed up to this community.

My question is:  Which one of the messes I'm in, must be fixed first? Which one should I "strategically" act upon, so that a chain reaction occurs and things start getting better for me?

I will really appreciate it if you give me advice based on your knowledge / experience.

Thanks.

 

Edited April 3, 2016 by Misty

[Misty]

Sorry if that's the wrong forum! I just realized the "Self-Actualization" one would've been more suitable to post this.

[oschi]

6 hours ago, Misty said:

Sorry if that's the wrong forum! I just realized the "Self-Actualization" one would've been more suitable to post this.

No, I guess it is okay if it is here. I can feel for you. I had my time where I lost my motivation. But you have to dig deep inside to realize why it is a mess. Do you really do all of that because you want to do it? Or maybe you just live up to the expectations of the society? Did you have a moment in your life that kinda had a traumatizing effect on you? Are you overdosing the media? Everybody can do whatever they want to. But in the end we have biological norms that we rather should live up to. We should move our asses. But who knows. Maybe you should visit the doctor to clear things up. Actually you have to decide what you want to change. But it is the best thing to really open up and tell us how your day looks like. All the things that you do and that consume a rather big amount of time. 

Some hints: Playing videogames? Sell your console or even break it if you can afford doing that. Watching Netflix all the time? Resign this bullshit and invest the money into something of bigger value like healthier food. Drink water and stop drinking sugary drinks. It doesn't matter seeing this from a superficial perspective. You have to really want to give your body a better treatment. It is important that you look inside to think of the things that you really desire. therefor you need to create true isolation. not thinking about food or other stimuli. just be with yourself in your room, meditate in the most simple way. we are on this planet not for a specific purpose but just to live and enjoy it. everything that doesn't belong to us eternally is of bigger value. actually our lives don't belong to us eternally because we will die someday and every positive and negative thought will have absolutely no meaning after that.  

[Misty]

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Edited April 4, 2016 by Misty

[oschi]

Thank you for being so open. It is important that you do that here. By going deep inside you, you will get a higher level of consciousness. 

I don't know too much about the rules in your country, but I guess it sounds a little bit like mideast, correct me if you could. Or maybe you are amish?^^ Anyway. You don't have to say it, but I would appreciate it (because I might understand your culture a little better). So you have to confront yourself with the fact that you don't need to compare yourself with others, though I really understand it when you have personalities around you all the time that might intimidate you. That makes it harder. But life is greater than just a competition. From this perspective I would definetly start with the better nutrition. It might be hell for you at the beginning but you will be so damn grateful that you changed yourself. If you compare it to your exams, you have to realize that the one thing is your career that you might not want to pursue (you have the choice, I hope, to be whatever you want) and the other thing is your health. You might end up being a doctor and hate your life. If you live a healthier lifestyle, means that you lose some weight and eat healthier foods (I can totally help you on that nutrition topic) you might still not like your career, but you will feel better in your body inside and outside (though we should not focus too much on the outside because that is not very enlightning^^). That is a lot of blabla right now. But I would really encourage you to start counting the calories that you eat. Every person has a unique metabolism, so you have to see for yourself how much calories you need a day to keep the weight that you have.  

[Misty]

19 minutes ago, oschi said:

Thank you for being so open. It is important that you do that here. By going deep inside you, you will get a higher level of consciousness. 

I don't know too much about the rules in your country, but I guess it sounds a little bit like mideast, correct me if you could. Or maybe you are amish?^^ Anyway. You don't have to say it, but I would appreciate it (because I might understand your culture a little better). So you have to confront yourself with the fact that you don't need to compare yourself with others, though I really understand it when you have personalities around you all the time that might intimidate you. That makes it harder. But life is greater than just a competition. From this perspective I would definetly start with the better nutrition. It might be hell for you at the beginning but you will be so damn grateful that you changed yourself. If you compare it to your exams, you have to realize that the one thing is your career that you might not want to pursue (you have the choice, I hope, to be whatever you want) and the other thing is your health. You might end up being a doctor and hate your life. If you live a healthier lifestyle, means that you lose some weight and eat healthier foods (I can totally help you on that nutrition topic) you might still not like your career, but you will feel better in your body inside and outside (though we should not focus too much on the outside because that is not very enlightning^^). That is a lot of blabla right now. But I would really encourage you to start counting the calories that you eat. Every person has a unique metabolism, so you have to see for yourself how much calories you need a day to keep the weight that you have.  

Thank you! I will definitely start with my nutrition ..

Appreciated (:

[SmartFixer_OceanJjb]

On 4/3/2016 at 4:34 PM, Misty said:

My question is:  Which one of the messes I'm in, must be fixed first? Which one should I "strategically" act upon, so that a chain reaction occurs and things start getting better for me?

As @oschi mentioned, better work on nutrition first.  You are in medical school so you know nutrition better, I think.  

And I guess you are depressed, chronic.  So, you may not have psychological energy to exercise much.  If you force to exercise and if you couldn't, you may get depressed more.  So, let's start from walking or easy yoga.  A little by little, in your pace, because . . . 

On 4/3/2016 at 4:34 PM, Misty said:

(BMI: 33)

Let's face straight to the point:  BMI 33 is BAD!  You know that, right??  Maslow's Hierarchy, you might forgotten tho cuz it's the thing you learned way before medical school -- Let's tackle physiological needs first.  Although it's 'first world' kinda physiological needs, anyway being unhealthy don't help nothing much.  

On the way to work on nutrition and being more physical, somewhere, when you started feeling better, something may 'click' in you and hopefully your motivation will get back to you.  

I usually don't write 'advice' kinda post but I just feel your pain so bad and couldn't help . .  I have my own problem and stumbling around lately.

I really hope you well.  

P.S. There's one person who writes her journal.  She wants to be a cardiologist.  She failed some exams before and . . the part of her experience hit my heart . . .   I wonder if reading her journal may help something?  If her journal is too much, please forget what I wrote here.  

Edited April 5, 2016 by OceanJjb
for clarification

[Misty]

28 minutes ago, OceanJjb said:

I usually don't write 'advice' kinda post but I just feel your pain so bad and couldn't help . .  I have my own problem and stumbling around lately.

I really hope you well.  

Thank you so much @OceanJjb, I really appreciate it. I hope you well in your problem.

27 minutes ago, OceanJjb said:

And I guess you are depressed, chronic.  So, you may not have psychological energy to exercise much.  If you force to exercise and if you couldn't, you may get depressed more.  So, let's start from walking or easy yoga.

You stated that right. I will take your word.

Starting from next week, I am committing to take my nutrition seriously once and for all. Maybe because I'm afraid that most probably I won't clear my exams on time; at least I will have an evident change in my weight and physique to "shut everyone up" (my academic situation is causing me a lot pressure from family and relatives...)

 

And could you please connect me to this doctor's journal? That is a great idea ... Thank you.

[SmartFixer_OceanJjb]

1 hour ago, Misty said:

my academic situation is causing me a lot pressure from family and relatives...

I absolutely sense it . . .  You must be Really stressed out . . 

1 hour ago, Misty said:

could you please connect me to this doctor's journal?

Since I don't know her personally, Please find her in this journal section below.  The title clearly says it, so it's easy to find hers:

http://www.actualized.org/forum/forum/16-self-actualization-journals/

I understand that you got to hurry, but to get better physically & heal psychologically, one step at a time...