60 day NO FAP challenge

[youngshinzen]

@Vitamine Water Congrats to 40 days! And yeah, probably two of the most horrible things that can happen to a young man: blue screens and blue balls...good luck!?

[Shin]

Blue screen is really really bad.

Open a post on a technical forum somewhere on the net, surely there is a reddit sub for this, so make a post with a screen of the blue screen.

Could be a lot of things, so be patient because you'll have to try a lot of fixes, or ask a professional in real life.

Edited December 8, 2018 by Shin

[daniel695]

why don't you take your pc to a pc shop and get it fixed?

[Vitamine Water]

3 hours ago, daniel695 said:

why don't you take your pc to a pc shop and get it fixed?

I'm very low at budget at the moment so I can't afford it.. I fixed it  before for free but now it seems to not work. 

@Shin yea, that's exactly what I did. I fixed a lot of errors in safe mode but they seem to spawn new ones which is really frustrating. I'm looking for a new video card but I'm tight on budget  good idea to post it somewhere on a technical form. Maybe I'll call Microsoft after the weekend. Tnx

@youngshinzen hahah fact!! 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 41: easy

All knowing is ego. Even this very insight itself is ego. All I have to do is open my eyes and look. Look, but without looking. It's in the way of itself. 

 

 

Edited December 9, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 42: relatively easy

More fantasies and thoughts are building up. But no desire to actually masturbate or watch porn. It's like I'm physically not able to do it because I know it's not worth it, 42 days in. I have absolutely have no reason to relapse (it's called "relapse" for a good reason ) 

Its kind of the same with when I stopped eating meat (January this year). Sometimes a desire to eat meat comes up (for example when I'm hungry and someone is eating a hamburger) but you don't act on it. You stick to your goals, without excuses. After that, it becomes effortless. 

Edited December 10, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Shin]

4 hours ago, Vitamine Water said:

Day 42: relatively easy

4 hours ago, Vitamine Water said:

It's like I'm physically not able to do it because I know it's not worth it

 

 

 

 

 

4 hours ago, Vitamine Water said:

4 hours ago, Vitamine Water said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 43: fire 

I'm writing this because its getting real HOT down there. I might also have glimpsed at some forbidden content. I'm being totally open and honest. The mind is such a tricky thing. 

But now I have my book in front of me and I'm going to start reading. And I'm trying to pull this energy I got up my spine. Right now as I'm doing it I can feel tingling sensations around the solar plexus/sacral chakra area. 

Focus focus focus! 

 

Edited December 10, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[youngshinzen]

@Vitamine Water Nothing lost, great work! What are you reading?

[Vitamine Water]

13 minutes ago, youngshinzen said:

@Vitamine Water Nothing lost, great work! What are you reading?

The book of not Knowing, by Peter Ralston. I'm taking it very slowly, there are alot of golden nuggets in there. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 44: difficult

Same day as yesterday, but we're hanging in there! I have had a lot of thoughts today about what it would be like not have this nofap challenge (normal mode). But I know that that would only give me short time pleasure. If feel much

OK I can't get rid of this YouTube video on the mobile version hahaha

I somehow copy pasted it in here, god knows how. Check it out tho, it's a weird but cool vid

 

 

Edited December 11, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 45: relatively easy

The urges are not yet decreasing. I still have a lot of sexual thoughts. I think it got accelerated because I was home alone for two days. This morning I'm feeling tired. We'll see what today brings. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 46: relatively easy

Sexual urges and craving are slowing down. I think the peak is over. I did broke my no porn rule, because I've watched it for maybe 5 mins total in the last 3 days. Not the hard-core penentration stuff, but still, I broke it. I didn't touch myself or anything and I didn't feel bad doing it but I felt that my manhood could explode in seconds. Which is not good. I gave in the cravings for watching porn. Next time I'm gonna be really, really mindful when a thought comes up. I know how the mechanism works so I should and must observe it. 

No energy lost or anything. I feel much more alive and "authentic" and less caught up in thought. Conversations go much smoother and I talk more slowly and with awareness. Last Thursday I had an important presentation and I was able to shut down most of the nervousness and I went in with a big smile and confidence. The presentation itself was pretty boring, but I was in control of myself. 

[youngshinzen]

@Vitamine Water Congrats on the presentation!

[Vitamine Water]

@youngshinzen Thanks, mate! 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 48: easy

I had a busy weekend. Lots of work and socializing. I'm graduating in januari so I'm really focused on studying and working. It's causing me to focus less on my goals; I don't do Qi-Gong, I don't read in the evenings, I don't do cold showers, I don't do paintings. At least for the last 2 weeks or so. It doesn't drag me down tho. I know it's a phase I'm going through, and I still stick to my fandamental goals: daily meditation and nofap.

Oh and ofcourse, brushing my teeth. This is so fundamental guys. Breath is key to life.

 

Edited December 16, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 49: difficult

My balls are almost exploding. No joke. There is so much pressure there and in my stomach that I have to lie down on the couch and rest. 

I try to pull the energy upwards through my spine while meditating but it only intensifies the pressure. It's like that stomach feeling you have after not being able to pee for several hours and you finnaly pee but that pressure is still there. 

But I told myself to trust everything that's happening to me. Don't force anything, just let it be.

But damn, if I shoot one out right now, Space X will definitely call me to ask what just happened. 

 

 

Edited December 17, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Psyche_92]

1 minute ago, Vitamine Water said:

But damn, if I shoot one out right now, Space X will call me to ask what just happened.

Ahahaha keep going man. Why 60 days btw? Shoot for at least 90.

[Vitamine Water]

1 minute ago, Psyche_92 said:

Ahahaha keep going man. Why 60 days btw? Shoot for at least 90.

Yea, totally. I see no reason why I would stop at day 60. I read everywhere online that a reboot is 90+ days. And I feel that this proces has so much potential, even 50 days in. 

I initially aimed for 60 because I thought I would never ever pass day 30, let alone 2 whole months. And here we are lol

 

[Sahil Pandit]

19 minutes ago, Vitamine Water said:

 

But damn, if I shoot one out right now, Space X will definitely call me to ask what just happened. 

brb crying