60 day NO FAP challenge

[Vitamine Water]

Day 9: 2/10

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 10: 2/10

The sexual thoughts are there, but no arousal or anything. Seems like the mind isn't done with fapping, but the body is? 

By the way, I just graduated so this means I can restructure my life again. And I got big plans! It's time to boost my spiritual practices and creativity. 

[youngshinzen]

21 hours ago, Vitamine Water said:

By the way, I just graduated so this means I can restructure my life again.

Congrats!?

[Vitamine Water]

32 minutes ago, youngshinzen said:

Congrats!?

Thanks bruv! ?

[Vitamine Water]

Day 11: 1/10

[Vitamine Water]

Day 12: 3/10

[Vitamine Water]

Day 13: relapse

I relapsed in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep, so I used fapping as an excuse to fall asleep. It worked tho, but of course I gave into the craving and watched porn for waaaay too long. 

Like I said a few posts back, it's time to restructure my life again. I got so much spare time to do good stuff. The last few days I've been painting like crazy and it feels awesome. But I'm still waking up way too late, I'm watching movies, series and basically wasting my time. 

SOOO..im using this opportunity to get rid of my internet addiction. Not just porn, but also YouTube, Netflix and this forum. 

It's time to reboot the system. For 10 days I'm not using any form of digital entertainment, except for listening to music while doing my hobbys. And:

- Boost meditation from 30 minutes daily to 2hrs daily

- 1hr daily nature walk

- 1hr of reading

Lets start with this. I'm also continuing to fight the nofap beast. I'm shutting my phone off for 10 days, only before bed I'm checking for mails and messages. During my solo retreat this worked out fine so I'm confident it's not going to be a distraction. Time to take action. 

See ya'll on the other side!

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 3: 2/10

I relapsed maybe 5 times in the past two weeks. Interestingly, my nofap motivation significantly decreased as soon as I stopped uploading on the forum. 

I noticed that the whole proces of fapping has become way less toxic for me. I now go into it with full awareness and I don't feel bad mentally or physically afterwards. That is not to say fapping is a healthy habit for me, because I felt way more energetic and motivated when I did my first attempt and reached 60 days. And that wasn't even a "full" reboot of 90 days, so that's where Im still aiming for! 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 4&5: 3/10

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 6: 1/10

[Vitamine Water]

Day 7&8: 5/10

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 9: 2/10

Big decrease in sexual urges and fantasies compared to the last two days.

[Vitamine Water]

Day 10: 2/10

Today I found myself watching porn for about 5 minutes. Not because I wanted to fap, but out of pure boredom. My body didn't really react to it. But my mind had its relief. Im not sure what to think about it actually.

[Vitamine Water]

Day 11&12: 3/10

 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 13&14: 1/10

[Vitamine Water]

Day 15: 2/10

I was alone at home the whole day and managed to keep my thoughts away from watching porn. Basically by keeping myself busy with my hobby, taking a walk outside and listening to music. There were some moments where I was like fuck it, but I immediately choose to do work. The decision to fap or to watch porn really happens in a split second. If your mind has you by the balls, you're fucked. Literally. Then the justifying begins

 

Edited March 9, 2019 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 16: relapse

I relapsed after I wrote my last post. The hornyness was just terrible. It lasted about 5 hours (untill 5am) and I finnaly gave in. I just couldn't sleep. I tried every technique but nothing lasted. I was so relieved when I finnaly gave in. This was not healthy. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 1,2,3: 2/10

 

[bejapuskas]

@Vitamine Water  Maybe talking about how you are keeping yourself away from watching porn and giving others advice about no-fap actually makes you relapse. I rarely talk about no-fap, because this always happens to me (as well).

[Vitamine Water]

@bejapuskasyea that could very well be. Maybe it's getting too much in my head by writing all these posts. Although I think it's not the main reason for relapsing tho. For me, the main issue is that when I relapse, I'm not in line with my goals and I convince myself that I'll be fine by watching porn. But deep down I know and feel that it's toxic for the mind. I justify it because I feel like I need the quick fix (to reduce stress, headaches, to fall asleep). 

And then the physical and sensational overload comes and I give into the cravings. Its a damn roller-coaster ?

I'm thinking of updating this journal maybe once in 5 days instead of daily. Just to slow it down a bit. 

 

 

Edited March 12, 2019 by Vitamine Water