60 day NO FAP challenge

[Vitamine Water]

14 minutes ago, youngshinzen said:

@Vitamine Water That‘s why I used past tense? 

Hahaha, you're a wizard!

 

[Shin]

Make a new journal named

"No Nut 2019 "

That's what I would do If I had balls ?

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Vitamine Water Proud of u son 

[Vitamine Water]

55 minutes ago, Shin said:

Make a new journal named

"No Nut 2019 "

That's what I would do If I had balls ?

 

Oh boy I get sweaty palms even thinking about that

Maybe in 2020 hihihi

@Sahil Pandit<3 <3 much love 

 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 1&2

Started the day off pretty good. Only in the evening some thoughts came up, saying that it wouldn't matter if I fapped now because I relapsed recently. But that logic didn't take the upper hand. If I acted on it, I would possibly spiral myself back in the fap loop and lose all energy and motivation. Not my cup of tea at the moment.

[Vitamine Water]

Day 3

Nothing serious going on today. This night I woke up with very intense tingling sensations on the backside of my neck (spine, throat chakra area). My head was shaking heavily like before, but this time the actual pressure in my neck was more intense and it was focused on one single point. This lasted for about 10 seconds and then it faded.

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 4: relapse

I slipped again, I can't really justify it because that would only be my mind talking.

It's scary how good and energetic I still feel. I don't beat myself up afterwards and I don't feel drained. But this is EXACTLY the trap. This is exactly why my mind justifies watching porn and masturbation. Mind is like: "ohh, it wouldn't make a difference now, would it? You felt great after you fapped the last time! Nothing will be lost dude! "

Fuck! It completely overshadowed my goals. Only now, afterwards, I think about what I wanted to achieve with nofap. 

We continue to fight the beast. My mind should be trained enough to withstand these sexual urges.

God it feels good to be honest!! Haha

<3

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANFKDKDKXNCLSLXMSLCLVLFKSNXKCKFKEKD

Nice. 

I feel nice. Nice is such a nice word. 

So... kind... so... Nice. 

Okay so I started running yesterday and today in the evening, ending with a nice cold shower (3 mins or so) and I'm feeling GOOD. Im feeling balanced as fuck. 

No sexual urges or fantasies today. I relapsed twice, shorty after another. If I compare my overall energy with now and during nofap, it has slightly decreased because of the relapses. But I'm breaking out of this loop.

I can feel it! 

I must! 

Cheese cake! 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 2

No cravings, thoughts or sexual fantasies today. My mind is focused on my graduation at the moment. Deadline for the thesis is January 24th so fingers crossed. 

Running feels VERY good. Yesterday I tried running with music on but that didn't work for me. Too much distraction I guess.

To surrender completely to the moment, to the silence of running is more freeing for me. Only thing you hear are the sounds of footsteps and breath. It's a meditation in itself. You completely merge with the experience and at a sudden point the act of running becomes effortless. The running does YOU!! 

Woa

Amazing

 

Edited January 3, 2019 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 3

Less energy, more studying. 

[Shin]

90 days challenge ? ?

 

[Vitamine Water]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

90 days challenge ? ?

 

Make it 100

[Vitamine Water]

Day 4: relapse

Hooray! Lessons learned. Fell into my lower vibrations, again. The 3/4 th day are the hardest for me. I think that's because I used to fap that frequent and homeostasis is trying to bring me back to that rhythm. So I have to break through that barrier. 

Energy wise, I feel more energetic than yesterday. But still less energy than during nofap. 

Moving on!! 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 1

Nothing serious going on today. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 4

I typed a whole story but lost it because of Internet connection..

Summary:

Monday I fainted and landed with my head on the ground. Went to doctors but they couldn't find any cause (healthy diet, no stress, not tired etc) so that's weird. Currently sick at home on the couch. Relapsed because I felt vulnerable asf. Currently not in my best state, mostly physically. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 3

Im slowly gaining more strength and I'm feeling better. Wounds are healing pretty fast. Blood test results were also positive. 

Its time to get out of the pit again. Align with my purpose and goals.

I'm working over 12 hrs a day for my graduation the last few days so I can't take things slowly, sadly. BUT I'm confident that it will all work out in the end. Deadline is in 10 days. 

[youngshinzen]

@Vitamine Water It will work out??

[Vitamine Water]

4 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

@Vitamine Water It will work out??

Appreciate the support mate. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 4&5

I'm feeling better energetically by the day. Not at the same level as before the fall and during nofap, but still. Small steps. It really feels like I'm back in the game after being sick. Like I'm the old me again, joking around with people, doing weird shit and random dancing. Feels guuud. 

And weirdly I feel no graduation stress or panic of any kind. I used to be stressing a lot because I always started way too late with work. But now it looks like I got my sh*t handled. I'm pushing myself to the limit (productive wise) but it doesn't affect my stress or energy levels. It just has to be done, so it becomes more effortless, I dunno. I'm thinking out loud atm

What does trigger me tho is that I have 0 free time. Literally no time to do hobby stuff. Man. I want to produce music so badly. I want to paint I want to draw I want to aaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaa!! FUCK! 

School first. Then I'm free as a fucking bird. Finnaly. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 6

I like cheese tomato sandwich with mayonese. Don't hate pls. Dutch cheese and mayonese are the best. Trust me.